six18 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Have you ever or would you ever wait for someone? By waiting I mean if they were not ready to settle down and wanted to date others but said when they are ready they are coming back for you. But in the meantime don't get married or getting engaged don't get a partner etc.
xdahliax Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Why would they want to date others when they supposedly know that they'll end up with you? I love hearing the crap that selfish people say, I think they even believe it sometimes. 1
djae Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I agree with delilah. My ex broke up with me and basically told me this. I love her very much, but I'm beginning to wonder who I love. Because the person I love, would not put me through this. She still thinks I'm here waiting for her. This probably is my fault since I basically told her I was waiting, which was a mistake. I got caught up in the moment. The thing is, after NC for a while, and almost 6 months broken up, I think I am starting to become numb and indifferent towards her. Its a weird feeling. Its really strange. I'm starting to think, anyone that can be this selfish, even if for reasons like sorting themselves out or figuring their life out, is just not being fair to the person waiting. I thought I could wait. I honestly thought so. But each day I lose more respect because of all the hurt the person has caused me, and still is. Each day I get more angry and then indifferent. I'm just honestly giving up. I have not pursued other relationships much since the break up. But I am now starting to be open to it. I'm supposed to be meeting someone soon. I am not going into it knowing exactly what I want or if I'm ready for it. But I just have to set my feelings for my ex aside and see what happens. But my feelings are disappearing for her too. Not the feelings of who I loved, but the person she has become has put me so much pain that I am being forced to wake up and realize I might end up wanting a life with this person, since they are continuously hurting me so bad for their own selfish reasons. I would never have hurt them so bad, and I would never continuously hurt them so bad. The whole thing is weird. Its really been one of the strangest time periods in my life. Going from going to spend forever with someone and not being able to imagine going a day without them, to realizing that I might just move on without her. I wish I could warn her, to wake her up in a way. But I'm just going to do my thing and see what happens. I'm not breaking NC. I have to look out for me, since I have been last on the list for so long. She doesn't deserve me to wait. She'll put me through hell as long as she doesn't lose me forever and knows she has me. And anyone willing to do that, I am losing respect for and my love for who she is is disappearing. I fought hard for us, but I am finally beginning to just give up. It really is sad. 1
Ross MwcFan Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I'd wait for anyone, it's not like I have many other options is it?
veggirl Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 In the situation you described...HELL NO! First of all, while they are out dating all these others they will form attachments and bonds and you will be left in the dust. Second of all...just basic self-respect says that is a big no way. If a guy asked me to "wait" for him while he dates/fks other girls I would ask him "how pathetic do you think I am?!" 1
Author six18 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 @djae she is taking advantage of your kindness. love her but love yourself more and it is great that you are meeting people. I think that will make you feel much better. I agree with @veggirl and @ xdahliax. Some asking you to wait is selfish. Especially selfish if they want you to wait while they explore their options. To me that says I am not good enough for you. The future is never guaranteed so I can't put my life on hold bc you don't see my worth in the present. People are emotional and unpredictable and their needs and wants change. like @veggirl said Ill be left in the dust wondering what the hell to do now and trying to pick up the pieces after being disappointed. I think they are looking for better and consider the person waiting a nice fallback. I am not a fallback nor do I want to be. I came to this realization when I was asked to wait and my response was no I am exploring my options as well.
GorillaTheater Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Never make someone a priority who only sees you as an option. Especially when you don't even rank towards the "top" of those options. 1
TigerCub Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 hmm, ONLY if they got sentenced to many years in prison.. and they gave me one of those "will you wait for me babe?" like in the movies. Anything other than that...well that would just be silly... 1
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