strongnrelaxed Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 My ex and I were very close and when we were together, we would hold hands, arm in arm etc, all the time - but there were times when she would sort of force the issue in certain circumstances. Being a clueless man, it took me a while to notice that she mainly did this when there were other women around. So what started out as something I was happy and eager to do, suddenly felt like she was pissing on me to mark her territory. Ok, that is an overstatement, but the point is that it went from a feeling of closeness to a a compulsory display of affection that demonstrated ownership. She ruined this for me and for us. We still held hands after that, but it lost the charm and closeness and innocence for me. It became a duty to her to make her feel like all was well in the universe - she won. She got a sense of security. I lost - and what I lost was a treasured sense of romance. Yes, I asked her about this and true to form, she pushed it back to me indicating that I was trying to avoid holding hands in public because I didn't want to look "taken". I can only accept so much of the "men are from mars" crap - at some point it looks and feels manipulative whether intentional or not. Why do women do things like this? Why would you kill such a romantic thing? Note: Just in case you noticed, I just posted this in a thread about sharing desserts. Similar issue in my mind.
Hawaii50 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I'm usually the one instigating the PDA, but I'm certain that had to be times when I was subtly pissed on and marked. Can't say I'm horribly different, though. I wouldn't do it all the time, but if a herd of dudes were eye'in up my gf across the room, I'd go over there and lay claim. 1
TiredFamilyGuy Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 (edited) You're reluctant to embrace her in public. Sure, she has some insecurity issues here. This may not be the only one. Doesn't sound like you're going out of your way to reassure her: sounds like that's what's needed, you didn't exactly leap out as wanting to provide it. Maybe she had a previous BF who dumped her, who did this to her first? Communicate: if you can't find a way to reassure her then, then just possibly you're the one with the issues. Edited October 23, 2012 by TiredFamilyGuy
Radagast Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Why do women do things like this? Why would you kill such a romantic thing? My ex-wife was the complete opposite. She abhored any kind of public affection. I craved it desperately, and was very relieved that my second wife is comfortable with physical touch in public and in private.
Hawaii50 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 t I don't like being groped Not even under the table?!
Recommended Posts