Is it normal to develop a crush after dating someone for awhile?

[LostInThought_1]

...or is it a sign that the relationship should end? Is it normal to get a little "bored" after awhile together, even if you claim to be in love?

[The_Face]

...or is it a sign that the relationship should end? Is it normal to get a little "bored" after awhile together, even if you claim to be in love?

 

I don't know a thing about what's "normal", but IMO, if you're "bored" in a relationship (checking out other people), and you claim to be in love, you're probably not in love the way you wanted to initially believe. Realistically, if you're in love after only being together a while (you never said how long exactly), it sounds like you may have rushed into saying "I love you" to this person. How old are you two?

 

To get to my point, maybe you don't know what love is. You might just be horny. And quite possibly mistaking Lust for Love.

 

End the relationship with your BF/GF before they end up getting more invested and really hurt in the process. Sounds like you're on the verge of cheating and are trying to decide if you want to go through with it or not. Might as well break it off and pursue this new body.

 

Whatever you decide to do, good luck. In all future relationships, I would recommend pumping the breaks on declaring your love for somebody so early on, before you know what that love truely stands for. Then you don't hurt people as badly if you leave them for somebody else.

Edited October 26, 2012 by The_Face
I'm a perfectionitht

[tman666]

It happened to me a few years back. I developed a crush on a coworker of mine at the time, even though I can safely say I was committed to my girlfriend (who I am now engaged to). Even though I felt like I was in love with my girlfriend, my actions at the time didn't reflect it.

 

My feelings for the coworker sort of snuck up on me. It started with me thinking she was attractive, and grew out of us having more and more interaction as time progressed.

 

Hindsight is always 20/20, but the bottom line is this: I wasn't using the logical part of my brain. I was allowing myself to play the "what if?" game in my own head, and indulge myself in the thrill of allowing myself to think of her in a non-platonic way. I didn't understand it at the time, but this is a form of cheating (emotional cheating).

 

My girl eventually found out about my crush on the coworker, and it hurt her a lot-obviously. It took a while to re-build the trust that I had abused, and I'm fortunate that she didn't dump my azz on the spot. Seeing my girl in that kind of confused pain was heart wrenching, and it made me realize what a selfish-ass I had been...

 

I think that it's natural to appreciate the "assets" people you find attractive. I know my girl checks out other guys, and I know she knows I check out other girls. The trick is to keep it all in its place: eye candy. Once it progresses beyond looking (i.e. allowing yourself to play the "what if?" game, to flirting and beyond), you're sailing into dangerous waters.

 

Ask yourself if you can see a future with your partner. Ask yourself if you can see a future with your crush. It's easy to get caught up in the "Cloud 9" stage of new attraction, but everyone comes down from that eventually. Real love and solid relationships are built on trust, support, and the desire to elevate your partner's needs and wants above your own. All of this stuff happens after Cloud 9. That's when **** gets real. Look beyond Cloud 9, ask yourself what you really want and whats good for you.

Edited October 26, 2012 by tman666