vanek26 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Hey everyone, I made a post about a month ago talking about another bad first date experience I've had and now here I am again. I've probably been on about one or two 'first' dates a week since then, and I've had mixed success. A few girls who seem to be interested in FWB and nothing more, and then some duds. For anyone who does online dating, that first meeting is absolutely essential. The girl will determine during that time whether or not she wants to see you again, how attractive she finds you, etc. Basically, your chance of getting to see her naked is set in stone during that first date and there's almost no way to salvage things if you screw up. I think following a basic protocol is a good idea, but the problem is... what works? I met a girl yesterday and instantly found myself very attracted to her. We hit it off pretty well and as the date went on she even invited me to go out with her and her friends this Friday. But, I haven't heard from her since. In my experience (and there are a few exceptions) if a girl doesn't text you after the first date on that same day, she doesn't want to see you again. It's just how women are. So while I play the waiting game, does anyone have any good strategies they have figured out for the first time they meet someone? I've read from several sources that it's always good to say something along the lines of 'you look different from your pictures' and to be really ambiguous about it because it will stir up insecurities within the girl and make her want to prove something to you. I've never had the courage to actually say that though because it seems really rude, haha. I usually try to keep it light hearted, ask questions, make her laugh, tease her with jokes like saying my mom is in the car waiting to meet her, or that i was planning on getting matching tattoos with her later... but never seriously implying that I'm interested. Invariably, the relationship topic will come up. My usual line is something like, 'i dont want to rush into anything, but im not just looking for a fling.' That seems pretty benign to me, but do you think that is coming on too strong? I would like to think I'm an expert at this, I've been doing it for two years now. And have slept with over 20 girls who I met using online dating. But still, I seem to fail with regularity and so there's certainly more to learn.
darkmoon Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 (edited) you need training in better jokes, or just drop them nothing funny about a mom that doesn't want to meet her or dissing togetherness albeit about tatoos, i would see a man who is hinting that he doesn't want serious Edited October 22, 2012 by darkmoon
xdahliax Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Don't try to make her insecure, it'll slap you in the face. Unless she really is insecure, then you'll be dating an insecure girl and taking advantage of her. The mom and tattoo comments aren't funny, they make you look overly invested. It's a first date, you shouldn't really be talking about a future together because you don't know one another. You should be living in the moment.
xdahliax Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I dunno man, women tend to decide with-in minutes, then it's just a matter of not messing up. Only thing I seen, but wouldn't necessarily do.. or maybe it just confused me.. The ambiguous compliment.. Shouldn't have but one or two direct complements on a first date. And it shouldn't be too superficial. And the "better than your photo thing" seems about as original and clever as "Do you come here often?" There are plenty of ways to flatter a woman harder and indirectly. ie: Listen (act interested), think, speak. Be witty too.. women flutter for wit. He doesn't mean that comment to flatter. He wants her to wonder "oh my goodness, do I look worse in real life? does he think I'm unattractive now that he's met me?" Jerk move.
yongyong Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 So you slept with over 20 women in 2 years. That's like one bang every month from OLD alone. I don't think you need advices from here. you need to share Where do you meet for first date? bar? coffee? restaurant? Do you try to bang them on first night? Or just let it flow? Do you keep your interest level lower than hers? (acting aloof whole time)
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