VeveCakes Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 my bf and i have been together for almost 7 months and we're not even friends on Facebook. i sometimes joke with him that he doesn't want me as a FB friend, but i try not to let it bother me. he doesn't spend much time on FB, but i am on there all the time. we have several FB friends in common. i'm honestly not too worried about it. i trust him, and i figure there are bigger things to worry about than FB. it's easier this way. if we were FB friends, then i'd have to worry about the whole relationship status thing. it would add stress to our relationship when there doesn't have to be any. it's only Facebook, after all. Mine too.. after 2 months his gf called me and introduced herself. Ahhhh, now I see why he never wanted to add me!! I didn't care about the FB thing but honestly, guys love creeping on your pics. If he isn't adding you there is a reason.
mortensorchid Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Ah Facebook, what did we do before it? Ha ha ha ... But seriously, if you have been together for 7 months and it's important to you, then he should respect your wishes and change his status. What's the big deal if he doesn't? If it is to him, then you have a problem.
Emilia Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 To everyone posting these condescending 'facebook is stupid anyways, who cares?' narratives, try and put this in perspective. The OP has approached her boyfriend of 7 months twice asking him to tell the Facebook world that they are together, and he has blown off her request. This comes despite him being the type of guy who apparently always does what he says he's going to do. If he really didn't care about Facebook, you'd think it would be no big deal for him to change his relationship status. But if he uses Facebook to talk to other girls, then it would be quite detrimental to him. Turns out, the OP made a post about a month ago because she was concerned with a 'trashy' girl who was friends with her boyfriend on Facebook and apparently they had been texting. What does that tell you? Perhaps true in his case but I'm on facebook all the time as well and I never advertise my relationship status there. It doesn't say anything about me, doesn't specify whether I'm single or not. That's because I'm TRULY a private person in this regard, don't use facebook to catch guys (only have a relatively small number of friends anyway) and don't want to advertise when I'm seeing someone and when I'm not. Certainly don't want breakup messages to appear when I'd probably prefer privacy the most! There are genuinely private people out there who don't wish to live their lives by some arbitrary facebook rules. Luckily men don't tend to get freaked out by this and they don't usually bug me. My last significant ex wasn't even on my friendlist for most of the time we dated. Facebook will be as intrusive as you allow it to be.
Jane2011 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I was on MySpace in 2004-2006 or so, and first got on Facebook in 2007. I cared a lot, then, that my then boyfriend change his status to reflect that we were together. He resisted at first, much to my annoyance, and eventually complied, etc. I don't think I'll ever request it again. I've been with a guy now for two and a half months, and we're solidly boyfriend/girlfriend. He's told me he's in love with me several times, and says "I love you" as well (I've yet to say it back because I'm just freaked out/wary). I'm happy with him, but I'll never ask him to change his Facebook relationship status. I don't even want to change mine to anything. I'm over having a relationship status on FB. He and I are, in fact, FB friends though. He friended me the day after our first date. (We'd known each other from about a year before, though, from grad school, so it wasn't as eager as it would be if we're really just met on or near the time of our first date). We're Facebook friends, but we don't bug each other very much. I've never posted a pic of me and him, and I don't plan to. I posted a couple pictures of his cat (just his cat) to his Facebook wall, but I'll never put one of myself or myself with him. I'll never chase or pressure a guy for Facebook demonstrativeness ever again. He "likes" stuff on my page pretty regularly, but he never comments. I like things this way. We're connected, but damn if I will be all over him on Facebook. My take on the FB status thing is this: just leave guys alone about it, even if they're in love with you. They're often going to be strangely undesiring of revealing to the world that they're in a relationship with you. In my case, I felt so bruised/humiliated by my previous boyfriend resisting the FB status thing and not being too into being 'connected' to me on FB that even now, when I have a boyfriend who's (at least so far) actually in love with me and so into our relationship, I feel like, even then, I ain't askin'.
Jane2011 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 If nothing else, I go by this general motto: The more you push for a relationship, the less he wants one. Hence, be into him, but always let him push more because for whatever reason, he's allowed to push, but if you do it, in any way, it doesn't work for you or for him.
Drseussgrrl Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I'll never update my relationship status on FB until I'm married. I think people can figure it out through pictures I post and draw their own conclusions. I HATE the drama of breaking up and having it all over FB. And I always cringe when I see a friend's changed relationship status to "single" and the ensuing comments. No way Jose. The other poster is right - FB ruins lives.
liquid_amber Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I'll never update my relationship status on FB until I'm married. I think people can figure it out through pictures I post and draw their own conclusions. I HATE the drama of breaking up and having it all over FB. And I always cringe when I see a friend's changed relationship status to "single" and the ensuing comments. No way Jose. The other poster is right - FB ruins lives. that's pretty much how i feel. i just leave my relationship status blank, even though i am in a relationship. i don't think it's anyone else's business, and besides, those who know me in real life know i'm in a relationship. plus, i do sometimes post pictures, so that also makes it pretty obvious. but if i were to change my relationship status right now, it would show up in everyone's news feed that i'm "in a relationship." then people will comment and ask questions, and in reality it's none of their business! i've also had some FB friends who change their relationship status on a whim whenever they feel like it, even if the change is not true. like all of a sudden, one day they're in a relationship, and the next day they're single. it's ridiculous.
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