gonefishin Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 (edited) Hi guys firstly let me say my writing skills aren't great but please try bear with me. Really looking for some advice and help. Ok here goes I was my ex for nearly 3 years was a difficult situation as family and friends never liked us together so pretty much dated in secret . This caused massive pressure and strain and in turn led to quite a few fights and flair ups .. I know this all sounds run a mile straight away but what we had was amazing we both never felt this way about any previous relationships there was an amazing special connection . Things got bad for me and I didn't handle it well and decided to end things (This was a hasty decision and big mistake) but I took it for granted and assumed like always I supposed she would be there . What happened was she buried herself in a new work out routine seems to have replaced me with a new BFF (girlfriend tho) Tempers where still high and we both said never contact again and the likes. But in the first few weeks we wouldn't make it to a week without a text from me or her. But always ended in her getting nasty and sending almost "hate" messages. At one point she said she regretted the last 3 years and wish she could erase them and would never let me back In This seems to have done more and more damage to us. It's now been a month since the breakup and we basically got back talking . Emotions aren't as high and we get on we'll in person we've been out the last few nights chatting . Had a great night last night in particular and she even text to say had a "great laugh" but come the morning she's gone cold? Like didn't even text today till I did after lunch and was quite short and didn't leave much to keep a conversation going. I'm so confused I'm so mixed up I've never been heartbroken before but this is like nothing imaginable Can't eat ,can't sleep everything seems so hard. Is she playing games now to see will i try or does she really not want me back. I'm afraid to go no contact again as it pushes her to these new friends and pushes me out further ? Is this normal as well to be replaced by another girl doing all the fun stuff we used to do.. Listening to her you'd think they were life long friends. If I keep this p do I risk becoming just a friend or is keeping in there vital to getting her back? She says she still loves me but would never let me back in as I hurt and let her down to much in the past ( this is true) I'm very mixed up on pretty much everything but the only thing I'm sure of in this is we still have that spark it was there last night! But her saying she would not let me in again isn't seeing me again now and having a laugh with me letting me in? Are these positive steps? Sorry again about my writing skills or lack of but please give me A chance . Thanks again for reading Fisher' Edited October 22, 2012 by gonefishin
River Rain Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Lots of things get said out of emotion when a person is hurt and angry. Same goes for when a person is sad and lonely. She hasn't "replaced" you, she's found a good friend that she's having fun with and is probably offering her emotional support as well. If you want her back, talk to her in person, forget the texting. Texting causes too much confusion and misunderstanding...if you spent some time reading lots of the posts on LS, you'll see all the problems that arise from people not taking the time to speak to one another or see one another in person. Just go talk to her one on one and tell her how you feel and then see how she feels.
Author gonefishin Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Thanks for your advice . I think it's great she's seen me A couple of nights now without too much persuading if any. But I'm thinking back to when she said she'd never let me back in? Surely by seeing me again and having. Laugh she is letting me in? I'm not sure if a person can control how much u let someone in! I know I'm a bit crazy since the break up and over analysing everything! Is it normal her texts are cold after everything that's happened, is It like a form of defence she puts up?!
River Rain Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Texting is sterile and cold. They are simply words. We may write things out of emotion, but there is no way for the person receiving the text to determine the full extent of that emotion, that's why I'm saying don't read so much into the texting. If you want to know if she'll let you in again, ask her if you're confused at this point. She said she would never, but if her actions are contrary to her words, then find out in person, you have nothing more to lose. And it's natural to overanalyze things when you first break up. But instead of torturing yourself trying to analyze words on your phone, figure out what you want to ask, and ask in person. It could go either way, but at least you'll know.
Author gonefishin Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Your advice is great thank you. Where I worry though is we're literally back speaking and If I start going back on about the relationship she will hit the roof.. Maybe letting her see its ok to have fun she might let her guard down ! And bang I strike lol- sorry just joking but do u see what I mean? I defo think asking now is the wrong time...
River Rain Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I defo think asking now is the wrong time... Then all you can do is make assumptions and overanalyze words typed on a phone's keyboard. Or let it go and move on.
Author gonefishin Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 I know I'm still just clinging on. But hopefully in a few days I can Ask just right now I get a bad vibe and think it may go all wrong!
Author gonefishin Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 I agree about river rain ) Yep I've showed her I'm sorry through words and actions Completely admitted to been a total idiot But the taking it slow is so hard I'm struggling keeping my emotions in As if feels like the sun,moon and stars all have to be aligned for her to meet this week... And I'm not sure if that's just how she feels ors it's games on her part and making me work... (
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