How can I move forward with my life?

[Hannahh93]

I was with my ex boyfriend for two years, we broke up 3 months ago because I found out he had cheated, it broke my heart. Eventually I started feeling better until a month ago. We met up to swap things and all these old feelings came flooding back, it was overwhelming. It was the same for him too. In the time apart, I got over him cheating and I'll admit what kept me going was this hope that it wasn't the end for us. After we met, we started texting, admitted we missed each other and started dating again. It was only a few dates, we slept together and told each other we loved each other, It felt like I fell in love all over again, it was new and fresh. But then I went to uni and everything changed. Me moving away had always been a big issue in our relationship because he always thought we'd never see each other and that it just wouldn't work. Within a week he told me he couldn't handle me being away from home, his exact words were 'when im with you I love you to bits but when your away i'm not so bothered' he told me he didn't want to start dropping things for me and was contempt with his life at the moment. I think this hurt so much more than the first time we split because I let him back into my life and never expected him to hurt me all over again. Ever since, I've just been doing exactly what I shouldn't do, like texting all the time, phone calls, reading his Facebook, and I can't stop myself, I have no will power whatsoever. I'm in love with him, i'm almost begging him to try again with me but he says too much has happened. I cry myself to sleep, I'm constantly depressed because I know this is the end for us, I havnt got any hope to get me through each day. I'm just desperate for him back in my life to the point that I don't get that feeling where you know it is time to move on. It's like im waiting for nothing. He's also started seeing someone else and thats tearing me up inside too. Especially because he's 21 and she's 16. I'm that down that sometimes I just wish I was never born. I know all this sounds dramatic, but he was my first love and I still love him now. I just want to be happy again but I can't let him go, no matter how hard I try. Is there any tips or advice on how to move forward with my life? He's always telling me how much he cares, it's like he doesn't want me to move on. But how can I move on if he's all I want? He's literally always on my mind. I try keeping myself busy and even try to get buried in my studues, but it's just a constant distraction.

[KatZee]

Step ONE: Block him and delete him ASAP. Stop with the "I have no control." Yes. You do. Delete him and block him on Facebook. Take the pictures down. Block his e-mail. Block his number. Delete texts, emails, Facebook chats. Get rid of IT ALL. You don't need to see any of that to dwell when you're trying to move on.

 

He has no right continuing to message you about how much he "cares for you." Guess what, he doesn't. He loves you when you're around? But doesn't care when you're gone? That's not love.

 

You're spinning wheels because you're doing nothing to help yourself. This is the first day of the rest of your life. There is no "trying." You either do it, or you don't.

 

Step TWO: You're now in college. These are supposed to be the best years of your life. Don't make the mistake I did. (Pining, wallowing, wasting days of college on someone that doesn't want you.) I completely ruined my college experience. I remained depressed, chasing the ex, staring at pictures, reading letters, and basically dragging anyone who was around me down.

 

Get out of the dorm room. Go meet new neighbors. Join intermural sports groups. Join clubs. Check out a sorority. You need to put yourself out there, ASAP. The more things you do, the more hobbies and interests you have, the happier your life will be. You will meet new people, those people will introduce you to new people... and you'll find a new love.