tom22 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Hi guys. re-posting from another section as I think it fits in this section a little better! I'm hoping for a little bit of advice to help me out. It's quite a long story so please bare with me! Well, I have been on an online dating site (on and off) for about 2 years... I am still single so I suppose you could say it hasn't been 100% successful! .... anyway, during the middle of 2011 I started speaking to this girl on there (we were both 21). I had never spoken to anyone on there as nice as her. She was beautiful, friendly, chatty. Really, really nice. She was a single mum, who lived on her own with her daughter. The fact she had a child really did not bother me, infact her independance and caring for her daughter was one of the things that really attracted me to her. So we continued chatting for a few weeks. Exchanged phone numbers, texted daily and had the occasional phone call. So a couple of weeks past and, naturally, we started talking about meeting up. This is where things went wrong. I had never met anyone online before. Now, I am quite a nervous person, and the thought of meeting her made me very, very nervous! and so I did something that I have regretted ever since. I completely chickened out, and told her that although she was lovely, she lived too far away for me to have a relationship with her (in truth, she did live over an hours drive away, but in all honesty it wouldn't have been a problem). I know that she really liked me and I know for a fact this really upset her. Over the next couple of weeks I continually felt depressed about the whole thing and really began to regret it. So I contacted her again, explaining that I had chickened out and apologised, hoping I could have another chance. But she said that she didn't want to risk it happening again, that I had blown her off once and she couldn't handle it happening again because of how upset she got. And so we fell out of contact. I felt sad and gutted about it for a couple of months afterwards but eventually got over it. I have since even had the courage to meet up with 2 girls I had met on the site So now to the present day, over a year later.... last week I accidently added her on facebook. I have just got a new phone, and it added friends on facebook using the numbers saved on my sim card... and guess what... her number was still saved there! (I hadn't realised it!). She accepted, we exchanged a couple of messages just to say "Hi, How have you been" that sort of thing. So looking at her page, she is now engaged and seems very happy. I am really happy for her, but, completely selfishly, I am incredibly jealous. All of the feelings of regret have come rushing back, and I now cannot stop thinking of how stupid I was. I feel really miserable about the whole thing even more so knowing I can do nothing about it. I never really got to know her and I never will. I know it all sounds a bit ridiculous and nothing can be done, but I just wanted to write it all down and maybe get some advice on how to shake off the feelings I'm having! Thanks for listening Tom
mlpony Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 aww, you poor thing. "Love Stinks" as the J. Geils band put it so well. Well, these things happen. Next time you meet a promising woman online, take action right away. Go to see her or do something chivalrous. We women love that. And definitely don't make her feel like you are measuring the miles or the money. An hour is not so far away. I can't tell you not to be shy, but nothing will happen if you do not take action, so try to be brave. Good luck to you, and there will be many more chances. Remember, these mistakes build the kind of character that will make you even more attractive to women. Just don't lose the lesson!
Author tom22 Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 aww, you poor thing. "Love Stinks" as the J. Geils band put it so well. Well, these things happen. Next time you meet a promising woman online, take action right away. Go to see her or do something chivalrous. We women love that. And definitely don't make her feel like you are measuring the miles or the money. An hour is not so far away. I can't tell you not to be shy, but nothing will happen if you do not take action, so try to be brave. Good luck to you, and there will be many more chances. Remember, these mistakes build the kind of character that will make you even more attractive to women. Just don't lose the lesson! Thank you for that kind message! I know an hour isn't far away..... it was just a stupid excuse at the time! if it was for the right person, no distance would be too far! I would like to think I have learnt my lesson. Like I said, I have since built up the courage to meet up with someone I met online. Its all my own fault and theres nothing I can do about it. Like you say, hopefully there will be other opportunities for me
BlankSpace Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Hey, I feel you man. Just my two cents, next time, take chances, take more chances than you've ever took before. No matter what the results are, and how you end up to. It's all worth it. Something good will come, sooner or later.
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