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How do you know that you REALLY care about someone?

LostInThought_1

By LostInThought_1
in General Relationship Discussion

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LostInThought_1 Member

LostInThought_1

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How do you know that you are IN LOVE with someone? or that you really care about them?

 

Broke up with my boyfriend about 6 months ago because I felt I was no longer in love with him, and that wasn't fair to him for me to stay in the relationship if I wasn't really sure what I want. I miss him alot now, begged for him back and of course he refused (I deserve it). Wondering now if I miss him because I am lonely or because I actually WAS in love with him. (we dated for about 2 years , he was my first love and my first serious relationship).

Hawaii50 Established Member

Hawaii50

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Lonely, now...

 

I was in the same position, I left her 5yrs ago.. Still randomly miss and worry for her, but it's more so cause I'm extremely lonely/isolated, methinks. I'm sure If I was anywhere else in the world she wouldn't be but a random blip from time to time.

River Rain Established Member

River Rain

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How do you know that you are IN LOVE with someone? or that you really care about them?

 

Broke up with my boyfriend about 6 months ago because I felt I was no longer in love with him, and that wasn't fair to him for me to stay in the relationship if I wasn't really sure what I want. I miss him alot now, begged for him back and of course he refused (I deserve it). Wondering now if I miss him because I am lonely or because I actually WAS in love with him. (we dated for about 2 years , he was my first love and my first serious relationship).

 

If you were in love with him, you wouldn't have broken up with him for that very reason right? I'm sure it's loneliness. Being in love is a wonderful thing, and when it went away, I know I longed for it, but it was more out of being lonely and alone all of a sudden than actual feelings I had for the ex.

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LostInThought_1 Member

LostInThought_1

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If you were in love with him, you wouldn't have broken up with him for that very reason right? I'm sure it's loneliness. Being in love is a wonderful thing, and when it went away, I know I longed for it, but it was more out of being lonely and alone all of a sudden than actual feelings I had for the ex.

 

You make a very good point. I think I am also having a hard time differentiating between missing SOMEONE and missing HIM brecause this is my first real break up, and although I've seen other people since, I haven't felt as strongly about them as I did about my ex, so I am second guessing myself.

River Rain Established Member

River Rain

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You make a very good point. I think I am also having a hard time differentiating between missing SOMEONE and missing HIM brecause this is my first real break up, and although I've seen other people since, I haven't felt as strongly about them as I did about my ex, so I am second guessing myself.

 

When we're lonely, our mind/emotions tend to remember what was good and familiar. I know that I'd been longing for the relationship, not the man himself. With time and dating more guys, you'll find this gets easier.

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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How do you know that you are IN LOVE with someone? or that you really care about them?

 

Broke up with my boyfriend about 6 months ago because I felt I was no longer in love with him, and that wasn't fair to him for me to stay in the relationship if I wasn't really sure what I want. I miss him alot now, begged for him back and of course he refused (I deserve it). Wondering now if I miss him because I am lonely or because I actually WAS in love with him. (we dated for about 2 years , he was my first love and my first serious relationship).

 

 

 

I think when it scares you silly....when you are really unsure and you dont know what to do when you feel a bit sick in the guts with seeing them but you still want to anyway.......you have that strong emotional connection......when no one else matters including any ex or when a cool ray ban wearing wannabe doesnt get a blip on your radar.when your eyes change from kermit to bambi :cool:...hook line sinker....gone.....fish on...wear sunglasses often time.aka you just might have fallen like a huge burramundi........deb

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SpiralOut Established Member

SpiralOut

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For me, really loving someone is when I want them to do what makes them happy, even if that means not being with me, and genuinely being glad they are happy even if it means that I'm hurting like hell.

 

I think part of it is also loving or at least accepting their flaws.

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