dassme Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 Hello everyone! I haven't posted a thread now for a couple of weeks but now I'm back cause I'm in a world of sadness! It has been three weeks since my ex and I have parted ways and two weeks since we last spoke. I know this isn't a very long time but to me it seems like eternity! I've been very good using this so called "NO CONTACT" thing so that I can heal and move on but somehow I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. Everywhere I go, there is always something that reminds me of my ex. A flower shop ( cause I use to send her flowers all the time ), a unique vehicle that she drives suddenly becomes so abundant that I wonder if that's her? Or even the smell of a certain perfume! Damm that hurts! Anyway, I know it gets better as time goes on but I feel like I'm not progressing at all. I miss her so much that I just want to pick up the phone and say how I feel but I know doing that will only push me backwards instead of forwards. I just don't know .Love is such a crazy thing. It brings out the very best of us when it does happen but also destroys you when it is gone. Will this ever end and get any better?
LuckyDuck Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 I know how your feeling man and I feel for ya. Been 4 weeks here of non-stop pain. Hell as I was leaving for Wal-Mart earlier I get in my car and I had to compose myself so I wouldn't break down. Just out of the blue like that. The best thing is hang out with friends they should be able to keep your mind off the situation for atleast a little bit.
Mr Spock Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 Yes. When they say time heals all wounds, they are talking about this. The pain will lessen, and you will get over it. You will find someone new, and wonder why you ever spent so much time agonizing over this person. Contacting her will just make you regress. Have you considered going out on a date instead of moping? Trust me, it gets better.
Immortal Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 Hey man, It is horrible, I know. I broke up with my girlfriend on July 1 and this has been the worst month I have ever had, and I've been doing the no-contact thing. Here's what I can tell you though... I agree with the last poster who says that time heals all wounds. And although you may not have the desire to even get up out of bed in the morning, doing things, especially dating, makes you feel better. It takes away, at least temporarily, the pain. But it's going to be hard. Every little thing reminds you of them, I know. I've had to take sleeping pills this past month to combat those nights of insomnia. It's not a fun life. However, what my different advice to you is give it some time...a month...maybe two, and then re-assess your life. I don't know what your situation is, or how old you are, but things and people change over time. And maybe she will. And maybe you won't feel that way for her anymore. As far as I'm concerned, I've tried to make these past few weeks busy and entertaining, and I've done alright. However, on Sunday, which will be one month since we've broken up, I plan on serenading her in front of all my friends at the beach. If it works, awesome. If not, I'll have my closure and move on. Do what your heart feels. And do it for you. Because, at the end of the day, the only person you answer to is yourself. I hope you feel better.
carolina Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 Welcome to my life!! It's been 6 months since my boyfriend of seven years dumped me. Some years our relationship weren't the best, but the last year things definitely were (we had broken up for a bit & when we got back together things were really good). When we got back it was b/c we were gonna work towards marriage.........Anyway, HE couldn't go "thru with it...he felt too much doubt...yada yada yada." He was supportive talking to me for the first few months and all........but that almost makes it harder. I'm like don't be nice to me---it'll be easier to forget about you if you're a jerk--stop being nice...... I hear you my friend! The first few months I couldn't even sleep in my bed. I felt soooo lonely. I'd always fall asleep (of course after a few drinks on Friday or whatever) on the couch..... I kept thinking of all of our good times,,,,,I kept thinking IF ONLY I had done 'this instead of that' we'd still be together. Even though they say time heals all wounds, it's still so hard to move on especially when the slightest thing reminds you of them & the good times you shared! Wish I could offer you more positive input but I'm still down & out like you are
Insubordinate Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 Very true time will heal the broken heart. It's always difficult no matter how mant times you have been through a break up.
fellowes7892000 Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 Hang in there man. i'm 10 weeks since i lost the girl i love. i did the complete opposite. I'm actually a non-believer in the total non-contact. i can see how it works but basically i can't live with what if's. i've been telling her exactly how i feel when we talk, and text. we've kept up contact, and yes it's been horrible. i can sometimes put on a brave face on the phone, but then when we hang up i'll break down in tears for about half an hour. it's hard constantly looking back, but i know i've given this relationship everything. having said that - i'm still without the girl i love so what do i know?? i'm not suggesting you barrage her with phone calls etc. but maybe now is the time to call her and see how she's doing. it'll be so hard, but like you said, you're no better at the moment so it's not like you can go backwards. if you call her and she's doing fine, it means she's moved on. if she's a bit hung up and sad, then maybe calling her is exactly what she's wanted. but BE PREPARED!!!! the chances now are definately higher that she's moved on from you, than moping around. I'd say give it a go - i don't think you have anything to lose and it may be the closure you need to move on if she says that she's over you. just my opinion - some people would probably disagree, but it's your call. good luck - I truly hope things work out. dave
jonyx18 Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 well i had been doing the no contact for 2 month my ex left me 5 month ago today i suar to u it's getting easier not that it is easy when ever i go out on a date i get grossed out by them i cant seem to find interest in any men and worst of all the men that i am attracted to and actually flirt back with me i get scared and shy and walk away I STILL REMEMBER OUR SHOWERS HOW I WOULD WAKE UP BEFORE HIM TO HAVE HIS BREAKFAST READY AND BRING IT TO BED HOW I WOULD HAVE THE BLACK LIGHTS AND CANDELS AND EVERYTHING CLEAN WITH DINNER WAITING FOR HIM OR THE MARTINI WITH A CIGARETTE WAITING I MISS ALL THAT I MISS SEEING HIM IN THE MORNING I MISS HIM BOTHERING ME AT NIGHTS TO WAKE UP OR THE THINGS THAT PISSED ME OFF LIKE HIM LEAVING THE TOILET SEAT UP OR ALWAYS HAVING PILE OF DIRTY CLOTH NEXT TO THE BED HE HAD SUCH AN AWSOME BODY I COULDN'T GET MY EYES OFF AFTER 3 YEARS I STILL CLOSE MY EYES AND PICTURE US TOGETHER HAVING SEX GOD I SOUND LIKE A LOOSER I REALLY DO LOVE HIM BUT HE HAS HURT ME SO MUCH WELL BACK TO THE POINT ATLEAST NOW I CAN GETOUT OF BED AND I'VE STOPPED CRYING UNTILL YESTERDAY ALL OF A SUDDEN HE CALLED WE SPOKE FOR ABOUT AN HOUR A I ACTUALLY FELT ALIVE AGAIN I FELT LOVE AND WHAT WAS EVEN NICER TO FIND OUT THAT HE REALLY DOESN'T LOVE THE TRICK HE LEFT ME FOR HE IS USING HER ((((( SO SAD TO BAD FOR HER)))) HE WANTS TO SEE ME NEXT WEEK I LOVE HIM AND I KNOW IM TOO WEAK I'LL PROBABLY END UP SLEEPING WITH HIM I KNOW HE IS SOMEONE ELSES BUT HE WAS MINES FIRST MY LOVE BELONGS TO HIM WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO??
acidrein_08 Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 Originally posted by jonyx18 HE WANTS TO SEE ME NEXT WEEK I LOVE HIM AND I KNOW IM TOO WEAK I'LL PROBABLY END UP SLEEPING WITH HIM I KNOW HE IS SOMEONE ELSES BUT HE WAS MINES FIRST MY LOVE BELONGS TO HIM WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO?? Go have sex with him if that's what you want to do. Live life you are only here for a short time and you need to have fun. Just don't be attached, use him like he's using someone else. If you have sex just kind of get up and leave after and trust me he'll want you to stay, or to come back. If that's all you want him for then there you got it, if it's about more than sex then I wouldn't sleep with him you should respect yourself more and he should not be able to get you that easy. If you want him to love who you are then don't have sex with him until your back together.
acidrein_08 Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 Originally posted by fellowes7892000 just my opinion - some people would probably disagree, but it's your call. dave Hey man, I know what your talking about. My girlfriend broke up with me only 6 days ago and it's felt like eternity. We've talked everyday since then and most the time it's her calling me. I think sometimes with some people if you give them the no contact thing it will change them and you won't ever get them back. I think by talking to her and telling her how much I care about her it has really opened her eyes and she is having second thoughts about it. You can play hard to get but you don't have to stop talking to them for 2 months or w/e. People change so fast and if you lose all contact it might happen. I think you should keep up contact and talk about how each other feel and try to understand the other person. Respect their decision and give them time if they need it. Good luck.
hankBFD410 Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 i agree with all the posts i read. I am in the same boat and cant get past the hurt. Our relationship was so intense and passionate, and not just in sexual manner. i feel like i lost someone to death I've hurt so badly. i to have been attempting the no contact rule. but i always wanna drive by her work just to see her car, but i know thats not good for anyone. whats more I'm having trouble healing because she started seeing someone a week after we split, and he lives down that street from me, i see her where she's there and i know when she spends that night! its making this tuff i cant come or go from my house with out seeing her car and sometimes her. its been a month since our break up and i don't feel any better that than the day it happened. any ideas on feeling better?
imokurnot Posted January 28, 2005 Posted January 28, 2005 Ouch lucky for me, my ex left me for a guy and he lives 100 miles away. I could not handle it if I were in your situation. I would have to make him move LOL. Believe me I would make him move and she would have to help him and I would have a good laugh at least on moving day. There isn't much you can do to get through the pain other than write out your feelings or post on here and read stories that you can draw something from. Have you talked to her at all? If so what is her reaction to you and how do you interpret her moods when you speak to her? I have had contact with mine almost 3 times a week up until this week when she never wants to hear from me again. This is the 4th time she has said that. This is however the first time she put in caps I MEAN IT THIS TIME. So I am entering uncharted territory and curious as to what the future holds. I can always tell what she is thinking and feeling when we talk. It was a 7 yr relationship so I am in tune with her moods and emotions and read her like a book. So depending on the length of your relationship, her reaction to your contact, and how you conduct yourself in your contact, I feel a lot can be gained. If you want to get over her and move on, go with the no contact. If you can be civil and talk once in a while, basically remain friends, think of what you want from the contact and stick to the game plan. There are plenty of resources on how to win someone back etc. that can lay out exactly how to approach the contact thing if you have that in mind as a goal. I haven't been able to follow the rules very well hence the email telling me she never wants to talk to me again and THIS TIME SHE MEANS IT. LOL Good luck!
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