Summer Lovin Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I have been with my boyfriend for over 2-years now and we have what I thought was a very serious relationship. We have talked about getting engaged soon and moving in together. I spent the entire last summer living with him. We're currently in long distance due to our careers, but this spring I was planning to relocate where he is and move in with him. We also see each other a couple of times per month, and I just spent the entire month of September with him and then will be seeing him again the first two weeks in November. We're almost to the end of the long distance period of our relationship. This may have been wrong of me to do, but I'm aware that he has a Match account. He had this before we were dating and he said he just never got around to deactivating it but didn't use it. I never thought much of it honestly. We know each others' passwords and so on a whim I decided to login as him. I know this was very wrong of me, and he would be very upset if he knew this. I figured I'd find nothing, but that was not the case. He has been messaging women as early as this past week even asking them to go on dates with him and giving them his phone number. I later told him that I don't wish to be strung along while he's seeking out other women, and he responded saying that he adores me. It hurts him that I could ever think such a thing and I'm his main priority. He says he doesn't appreciate me acting like he's terrible when he thinks about me everyday and does so much for me. I asked him if he uses Match, and he said he doesn't. He said he hasn't even touched it for over a year. If I tell him what I did he's just going to get angry and say it's an invasion of privacy. He does a lot to demonstrate he loves, I will give him that. And I thought we were so close with each other that we don't have secrets from each other. We've invested so much in each other and planned on moving in and getting engaged soon. I don't doubt that he loves me, so then why would he do this? Why would he jeopardize us over something with someone that never could be? I'm really at a loss as to what to do.
Hawaii50 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 He's in the market for either a "Trade-up" or just wants attention from other women and isn't ready for a commitment.. Either way, bid him adieu and move on- You deserve better than that.
KathyM Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 He's probably looking for sex while you're unavailable, so he's "pretending" to want a relationship on Match in order to get some action while you're away. This should be a red flag for you, that he's not someone worth considering for a committed relationship, or any relationship, since he's not trustworthy and not honest. Nevermind what he says. His actions are what is telling you the truth about him. Time to let him go and not waste any more of your time on this guy. 1
heather_1 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I think Kathy is right. Long distance relationships can be extremely difficult. The sexual part of a relationship is extremely important and he might just be missing that. Either way, if you are in a relationship, you should stay faithful or call it quits in my opinion.
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