femmefatale123 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I dated a guy for six months. We were really close--I thought. He told me he loved me & cared about me--& showed it as well. Two months ago he told me I was beautiful, intelligent, & perfect for him but something was "missing" & we split. He says he is scared because he was hurt badly by an ex-wife who cheated on him & hasn't had a relationship for years. But he's been divorced for 15 years! We remained Facebook friends. Lately, he "likes" & comments on my posts daily, often multiple times a day. Last weekend I went to a party & posted some pics of me wearing a sexy little red dress. He commented on the album with a single word: "Ouch." He also keeps finding little reasons to stay in contact with me. It's confusing and feels like mixed messages. I know for a fact he's not seeing anyone else. Why does someone dump you & then behave like this?
xdahliax Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 It doesn't really matter. Unless he can pick up the phone and call you, it's not worth wondering what those comments are about. He could regret dumping you for 15 seconds each day, but if he's not explicitly telling you that it was a mistake he's not worth it.
Author femmefatale123 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 I know you're right. It just gets me because before we starting going out, he was interacting fairly heavily on my Facebook page--although not every day or almost every day like now. I know that he told the secretary of another lawyer (he's an attorney) who is a friend and has an office near his that he was "talking" to me on FB. He's doing the same thing now but even more often, it seems. The day I posted the album with the red dress pictures, he went on FB and "liked" the album that day around 2 p.m. Then, later about 5 p.m. is when he left the "ouch" comment. And he's on my d*** Facebook page every day. When we first went out, I met him at a club to hear a band (his son's band), and he said later he was surprised. He said he didn't think I would actually show up. I think lack of self-esteem and insecurity is part of the problem here. I once told him I was lucky to have him, and he said, no, he was definitely the lucky one. So much for that...
Author femmefatale123 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 Thanks for your comments, xdahliax. This week my ex has been texting me and sent me 2 multiple paragraph messages on Facebook. After the first one, in which he said he has been trying to figure out why his defense mechanisms caused him to feel like he need to bail, I sent him one back saying I didn't want to be just a frivolous electronic friend, and if he didn't make up his mind on what he wanted, I was going to extricate him from my life completely. In the second multiple paragraph message, he said he knows it's his fault we haven't sat down and talked in person and we need to find a time to do that. He said, "If I hadn't been thinking about you, I wouldn't be writing this." He also said, "If I complimented you on fb, I wasn't being insincere or pandering to you. The things I said were my true reactions." So maybe I'll give him another chance...
xpaperxcutx Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 Were you aware if he was dating after he broke up with you? It can be he had GIGs when with you, but lack of prospects made him backtrack. If he's really trying to win you back, I'd be wary to make sure his intentions are pure. I'd definitely be wary if most contacts are only through FB and not through phonecalls. You would think someone who's trying to win you back would put in more efforts. It's definitely a thing to look out for if someone wants you as an option as oppose to a priority. Also sounds it's a good thing to be slightly guarded as the only one who can protect yourself from getting hurt is yourself.
Author femmefatale123 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 We have been back together since Election Night. It has been wonderful! He was afraid I thought of him as just a fling and was afraid of letting go, that he might get his heart broken. He said he thought of me every day when we were apart and I took a piece of his soul. The first couple of times we were together again, he was very emotional and cried. He said he finally had to break down and give in to his feelings about me. Things are even better than before. Let’s hope they stay that way. December 23 will be a year since we first got together.
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