Just need to vent. I found out he's "seeing" someone while we're on a "break"

[LosinginLove]

I recently found out that he's "seeing" someone. He said he didn't want to see other people and he wouldn't like it if I saw other people while we're separated. The nerve. But, he admitted a wk ago, that he's been "talking" to a friend of the family. Not only has he been talking but they've gone out to dinner a few times and he's going grocery shopping with her and doing a bunch of other things that people in relationships do together. He said she's just a friend. She has shown interest in him but he told her he's not interested and that he's trying to work on his relationship with me.

 

He calls/txts her constantly and I know this because we share a cell phone plan and I see her number often on the phone bill. He still says that he wants to be with me and that he's trying to work on his issues but he's not really proving to me that a relationship is what he wants. His actions totally contradict his words. I've gone NC for the past 5 days and am trying to focus on me. I love him but at this point my feelings for him are starting to change. I'm becoming very bitter and resentful toward him.

[Calico]

I love him but at this point my feelings for him are starting to change. I'm becoming very bitter and resentful toward him.

 

Gibson summed it up. A break almost always leads to a break up and it's just a cowardly way to end things without facing the finality.

 

Anger is better than depression, but try and shift your thoughts a little, if you can (may be too soon). Instead of feeling victimized, try and see (feel) the relief in the conclusion of this failed relationship. Realize (feel) how good it is that you no longer have to deal with this (things presumably weren't good and enjoyable for a while).

 

Breathe the fresh air of freedom and being on your own again, without the relationship responsibilities, the ties, all the crap that has happened. Find appreciation for knowing where you stand, embrace the clarity that comes with having learned of what he's been up to. Took me a while to start seeing those things, but once I did, it gave me a push forward.

 

Stop checking on him, too. It only gets you stuck.