LittlePrince Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Why should the guys always drive?. Because women should have to do nothing. 1
xxoo Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 It is when you display this to someone you have not even met! Can you see how your text might appear to be a cancellation? A little grace from both sides would go a long way.... 1
LittlePrince Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 In a situation like that with an hour before the date, you pick up the phone and have a conversation with them instead of texting. Texting can lead to situations like this. I am sure if you talked on the phone things could of been rectified. And why are you driving to him? She wasn't driving to him.
xdahliax Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I agree with xxoo, the text you sent could look like you were trying to cancel. You could have worded it better, or clarified when he asked to reschedule. LittlePrince and MrCastle, I didn't say that men showing emotions are automatically dramatic. If a woman reacted the same way, I'd say she was dramatic too. When you just met someone and you possibly want date them, that's not a good time to let the crazy show. Most people dating at least know that being composed and not overly emotional is the best way to go, because the person you're trying to attract doesn't have much to go on besides your current behaviour. When you are comfortable with someone, then you can show your more emotional/vulnerable side without fear of repercussions. 1
Author starla33 Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 If she labels him insecure then she herself is insecure for not wanting to go to a bar in fear of "crazy people" and so on and so forth. I don't think she wanted to go out with this guy to begin with and used a passive aggressive way to get out of it. He saw right through it and responded appropriately. Umm no I did want to go out with him actually. Maybe he could have suggested coming to where I live since it's a quiet neighborhood....but nope kept saying to come to his. And yes IT IS crazy at the bars this is the 2nd to last game of the season, last year people went crazy and broke car windows, got roudy etc.
phineas Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 In a situation like that with an hour before the date, you pick up the phone and have a conversation with them instead of texting. Texting can lead to situations like this. I am sure if you talked on the phone things could of been rectified. And why are you driving to him? This. Learn to communicate with your voice. 2
Author starla33 Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 This. Learn to communicate with your voice. You are telling me? How about men? This guy has been texting me the last hour to change the plan around since I told him I was not trying to cancel. Biggest turn off on the planet. Of course he was still trying to make the plan super close to HIS house. I'm done with these people. Next time they can get their ass on the damn train and come to me.
xxoo Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Umm no I did want to go out with him actually. Maybe he could have suggested coming to where I live since it's a quiet neighborhood....but nope kept saying to come to his. It sounds like you regretted agreeing to the date in his neighborhood even before this miscommunication. Probably best to just let this one go...
truth_seeker Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 It's sounds like she didn't like him much to begin with but he beat her to the punch with the cancelation and now it's sour grapes. 1
Author starla33 Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 It sounds like you regretted agreeing to the date in his neighborhood even before this miscommunication. Probably best to just let this one go... Ugh no I have no problem driving there. Hell I was just there last night! I love where he lives. It's just not somewhere I want to be TODAY with everything going on there
Author starla33 Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 (edited) If this was someone I was already seeing I would totally call. Random online guy i'm going on first date with that has never called me? Yeah no, I'm not going to call Edited October 22, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator reference to previously deleted post
Author starla33 Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Men are not Jedi mind readers Starla. You needed to communicate what it is you wanted to accomplish, which should of been done by phone. You are just as much to blame as he is. Yeah unfortunately he could have also offered to go somewhere closer to me (where it's very quiet) which he didn't. Lazyness is prominent in men where I live.
LittlePrince Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I agree with xxoo, the text you sent could look like you were trying to cancel. You could have worded it better, or clarified when he asked to reschedule. LittlePrince and MrCastle, I didn't say that men showing emotions are automatically dramatic. If a woman reacted the same way, I'd say she was dramatic too. When you just met someone and you possibly want date them, that's not a good time to let the crazy show. Most people dating at least know that being composed and not overly emotional is the best way to go, because the person you're trying to attract doesn't have much to go on besides your current behaviour. When you are comfortable with someone, then you can show your more emotional/vulnerable side without fear of repercussions. Play whatever manipulative games you wish but realize once you start a ruse you'll have to maintain it indefinitely.
Author starla33 Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Well that is your problem for having low standards. I think the golden rule for women in online dating is dating a man with a car ? Basic mode of transportation ? That should of been a red flag that he didn't call you, ever. How do you know you weren't going to meet a midget or another woman ? Clearly you have no clue how to online date. Unfortunately I live in a big city where most people don't have cars (nowhere to put them). So this is not really a deal breaker...but I guess in this case it is.
LittlePrince Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Yeah unfortunately he could have also offered to go somewhere closer to me (where it's very quiet) which he didn't. Lazyness is prominent in men where I live. More and more it sounds like you didn't want to do anything for this date and felt like you were throwing him a bone by just showing up.
Author starla33 Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 More and more it sounds like you didn't want to do anything for this date and felt like you were throwing him a bone by just showing up. I've never canceled an hour b4 on anyone. It is really rude, and sucks he though I was trying to do that. When we were texting now trying to change plans though he was still saying to go over there....which after his little emotional outburst is not worth it.
LittlePrince Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Well that is your problem for having low standards. I think the golden rule for women in online dating is dating a man with a car ? Basic mode of transportation ? That should of been a red flag that he didn't call you, ever. How do you know you weren't going to meet a midget or another woman ? Clearly you have no clue how to online date. In a megalopolis such as NYC most use public trans.
xxoo Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Yeah unfortunately he could have also offered to go somewhere closer to me (where it's very quiet) which he didn't. Lazyness is prominent in men where I live. He assumed you were cancelling. Why would he offer alternatives if he believed you were cancelling? The game thing could've just been an excuse, and it could've gotten awkward fast if he jumped in with alternatives. Be more clear! 1
Author starla33 Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 He assumed you were cancelling. Why would he offer alternatives if he believed you were cancelling? The game thing could've just been an excuse, and it could've gotten awkward fast if he jumped in with alternatives. Be more clear! Yes I will in the future, am glad though that he freaked out like that before I even wasted my time meeting him. Shows me I'm not even interested at all in meeting him at this point.
truth_seeker Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Freak out. That translates to you trying to intepret his texts just as he tried to interpret your flaky shady texts. You never wanted to meet him. You calculated this an hour before because you knew it would get a rise out of him. That my friend is called passive aggressive. "Oh but he could of picked up the phone". He was not the one who changed the plans, so the ownus was on you to do the right thing, instead you are online bitching about a guy you never wanted to meet to begin with. She's mad because he turned the tables and she can't handle it. Sucks when you get outplayed at your own game. 1
LittlePrince Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 He was probably watching the game at the bar and was going to fit the date in between the commercials.
Author starla33 Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Freak out. That translates to you trying to intepret his texts just as he tried to interpret your flaky shady texts. You never wanted to meet him. You calculated this an hour before because you knew it would get a rise out of him. That my friend is called passive aggressive. "Oh but he could of picked up the phone". He was not the one who changed the plans, so the ownus was on you to do the right thing, instead you are online bitching about a guy you never wanted to meet to begin with. HAHAHAHA woooow bitter. So all women are manipulative. I was dressed, makeup on, ready to head out the door when my friend informed me about the big game and how I will never find parking and the bar will be packed.
LittlePrince Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 HAHAHAHA woooow bitter. So all women are manipulative. I was dressed, makeup on, ready to head out the door when my friend informed me about the big game and how I will never find parking and the bar will be packed. Good thing women have friends for cockblocking. Better than any contraceptive on the market.
mesmerized Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Unfortunately most people where I live don't have cars. (note: I'm almost at my wits end with this city of people that don't know wtf they want) Doesnt matter. You either meet somewhere close to you or halfway. Men dont like a woman who goes out of her way to meet a man she doesn't even know.
Krytie TV Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Now I never canceled on this person before and him telling me this and taking it out on me is ridiculous. I think you're missing the issue. As a guy doing online dating, there comes a time when you reach a point of "I don't give a shyt". Knowing it only from the guy side, after months of trying to find someone who isn't a flake, a last minute text like the one you said you sent seems completely ridiculous and puts you in the category of a flake. There comes a time when you lose the desire to put in any effort that isn't reciprocated. You probably sent the flag of being a flake and he probably didn't want to deal with another one. It's not personal, but if you truly cared about a date with this guy, you wouldn't text at the last minute for a reason like you did. That's how I see it and I can completely relate to his response.
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