malmsu09 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Hello, My story is a long one and I am not going to get into all the details right now but I left my ex about 5 months. I had very good reason to leave him and I kept holding out hope until he left me at his friend's wedding and never called to see if I made it anywhere okay. That was the final straw. Anyway, there was a lot that built up to this and I know that he did not treat me like somebody who loves somebody else should...so out of respect for myself I left and moved back to my home town (I had moved an hour and a half away/got a new job/left everything I had to be with him) We since have been in contact...lots of fights, arguing, me crying, him admitting he treated me bad...he basically will contact me most days unless apparently he has something better going on. This will he contact me or wont he..wondering if he is with somebody else and that is why he's not texting or calling...is making me anxious and sick. I know I left but it's like I repeatedly keep shooting myself in the foot by talking to him. But the thought of not talking to him and moving on makes me sick too. I feel nauseous and sick to my stomach so often. I feel sad and depressed. I didn't want this relationship to end because I obviously loved him more than anything..that's why I moved. But he couldn't give me what I needed or treat me like I know I deserve. I have had other serious relationships but not like this. He was "the one" I thought. Is this feeling normal? I know maybe I'm being dumb asking this but I guess I need to know that I'm not alone.... Thank you.
spiderowl Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 But he couldn't give me what I needed or treat me like I know I deserve. That's the truth. He's keeping in touch for his own needs and it must be difficult for you because you didn't leave him because you'd fallen out of love with him. His behaviour forced you to leave to seek a better relationship. As long as you are in touch with him, you are going to be pulled in all directions like this. I'd suggest no contact at all. Block him and cut him out of your life. It's only going to hurt to stay in touch.
CopingGal Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 One of the reasons why I didn't want to leave my bf is because I have serious, chronic acid reflux. I knew leaving him would make me physically sick. But he treated me so baldy that staying with him made me physically sick, so I left. I'm not sick any more because of him. Had I stayed..... You see where I'm going with this?
Exit Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 You did the right thing. Be proud of yourself. I and many others struggle with setting boundaries. Something like what you experienced, where your partner left you somewhere and never even called to see where you ended up, would have hurt my feelings and left me confused for days, but I never have the nerve to respect myself and leave someone when I'm not being treated properly. You did the right thing. Now him contacting you is driving you nuts and making you feel worse. Just tell him to get lost or block him. 1
PYTpisces Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Guy i was dating for 8 months told me he would call after taking 2 days of "space" and he never called and I havent heard from him in 3+ weeks. I'm sad that he could be so cold, but had he continued contacting me just to assuage his ego and make him feel like less of a jerk i wouldnt be where i am right now. He set the boundary for me, since I couldnt. What he's doing to you is selfish and unfair. I say no contact as well. If he can't step up to the plate then he needs to be forced to step down... for good. Otherwise things may continue to spiral downhill
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