Emilia Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Thanks Emilia. Some words were a little harsh but you are probably right. Harsh but true... People don't always listen otherwise. You owe it to yourself not to allow this to happen again. Even if she dumped her boyfriend now, how long until she did the same to you? You can see what she is like in action: she is completely capable of diassociation from the pain she is causing. You deserve better and you owe it to yourself to select your partners more carefully. This is not a game.
Author Mysteryhopeful Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 I know what you are saying is right. Although if she did break up with her bf, I would give her a chance. I know the bf was a dick in the past to her. But you are right in that I should steer clear now. Easier said than done when I see her regularly and genuinely have feelings for her. But I guess, if she genuinely has feelings for me, she will end things with him and understand that I don't want a relationship like the one we have currently from a long term stance. I know she is in a ****ty situation herself but she has the power to change all that herself if she really wants I guess?
Emilia Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I know what you are saying is right. Although if she did break up with her bf, I would give her a chance. I know the bf was a dick in the past to her. But you are right in that I should steer clear now. Easier said than done when I see her regularly and genuinely have feelings for her. But I guess, if she genuinely has feelings for me, she will end things with him and understand that I don't want a relationship like the one we have currently from a long term stance. I know she is in a ****ty situation herself but she has the power to change all that herself if she really wants I guess? Come on man, if my bf was a d*** and I met some cool guy (though I'd like to think I wouldn't need someone else to jump to to leave), I would live in a bloody slum for a month until I sorted myself out. What excuse 'looking for somewhere to live'. Really? While you are waiting for her? Come on
Author Mysteryhopeful Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Again your right... And I know I am making excuses on her behalf. I am very good giving other people advice like this yet when it comes to my own personal situation I am a disaster!
Emilia Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Again your right... And I know I am making excuses on her behalf. I am very good giving other people advice like this yet when it comes to my own personal situation I am a disaster! I'd say leave it for a few days, don't talk to her or anything. Just try to take a step back. Try to shake off the emotions and view it more clinically based on evidence. Sorry if that sounds cold.
Author Mysteryhopeful Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 I know I'm putting this girl on a pedestal somewhat. But your responses have been very helpful Emilia. Thanks
Author Mysteryhopeful Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 I know I'm putting this girl on a pedestal to some degree. But your mails have been very helpful. Snapping me out of it 1
Author Mysteryhopeful Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Ill follow your last bit of advice Emilia. Ill report back with any updates of note. This situation has been consuming me of late. But your words have hit home 1
Emilia Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Yes please report back and I'm glad my messages have helped. Just try to get the emotions out of it and look at it with a cool head. Good luck!
Author Mysteryhopeful Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Well iv gone 3 days of no contact and I intend to stand firm. At some point, if and when she contacts me or whenever we speak, is there any point in bringing up my issue with her situation if she speaks about meeting up? As in you still have a bf, and are still living with him. Or is ignoring the whole topic better and let it be her problem and not continue to make it mine.
todreaminblue Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 If you are in the early stages of dating a girl, you have been out with each other a number of times, have slept with each other a number of times also, BUT you find/get the feeling that you are the one who always brings up the topic of meeting up, should you change this situation somehow? Would you hold off being the one initiating things for a while?? I dont want to fall into the trap of being the more needy one and I could be going down that road if things continue as are. I am guessing there may have been threads on this before I dont know. sleeping with someone while early dating complicates the getting to know each other stage does make it a fwb situation..havign sex casually defines what relationship you have its casual and no strings are attached..........brings in a whole different set of emotions that are not really good to deal with early in a relationship and cause complications and mixed messages talk to her find out where you stand ask what she wants or would like from a relationship with you and be totally honest with what you desire from her....i wish you the best......deb
Author Mysteryhopeful Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Thanks for the reply todreaminblue. I have known the girl the past 6 months or so I already knew her fairly well before anything happened which is only recently. And I see her daily during the wk through work. Does this change anything? You are probably right about having to speak to her at some point though
Author Mysteryhopeful Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 And... I hope you read the rest of the thread. There is a bf involved...
Author Mysteryhopeful Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Ok 4 days gone and the weekend is beckoning. No contact has been had. What are people's thoughts? Should I continue with not being the one to make contact? Or should I say something before I head off for the wkend?
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