smajor2013 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Hello, Bio: My husband and I have been together for a total 7 years but married for 4 years. I have a daughter from a previous relationship. My husband and I had a son together that was a stillborn in 2006. Story: For the past two years our marriage has been rocky. We were constantly arguing, every little thing he was doing was getting on my nerves. I started to question if I wanted to continue being in the marriage, but decided I love my family too much. But the issues were still there such as arguments about finances, chores, and even driving habits. For the past year, everything started great. We had a romantic trip to Niagara Falls and we were fighting much less until we had some financial trouble. I ended up getting an internship over the summer in my career field and this is around the time "stuff hit the fan". I became condescending and selfish towards my husband. He asked me for financial help and I was getting annoyed because it felt like I was giving all of my money to causes he created. Soon after, my husband started talking/texting another woman behind my back. We ended up going to counseling and he even lied during our therapy session about the woman. Once we got home, he came clean. I did not react in the best manner but I was hurt. Hurt that he didn't come speak to me about how he was feeling and how much I hurt him. He had moved out for a week but came back to try to work on the marriage. We sought out another counselor and she was perfect but we couldn't afford her at the time. So we only had one session and my husband felt as though we can fix the marriage ourselves. We started dating and going back to church together. But then old habits die hard, we argued over finances again. He wanted to leave again but stayed with me because he thought I was going to do something harmful. Started dating again for the past three weeks and we were happy again. This past weekend he comes in after a night of hanging with his brothers and tells me he was tired of disappointing me. He did not come in at a decent hour. He stated that he prayed that he would stop putting through trials and tribulations. He said his outlook on marriage has completely changed and he does not wish to be married anymore. I am heartbroken because I have acknowledge my role in the demise of my marriage and have prayed for forgiveness. He is currently going to stay in the home until our lease ends, which is next October. Last night when were arguing about him leaving, I have never seen him become this angry. He said he does not like the person he is becoming. I told him I am going to pray and fight for my marriage until I have no more fight left. I am going to counseling alone because it is going to be hard to deal with living with him and not being able to share happiness with him. He told me today he feels like he hates me at this point. And I don't know how to save my marriage, right now all I can do is pray. I still love my husband and I will respect his space but it hurts so much. I don't know if he will ever love me again he has said so many hurtful things. He said we can only work on being friends at this point.
Ami1uwant Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Finances are a big issue in marriage. Are you saying you were right and him wrong?
strongnrelaxed Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Hello, ... My husband and I had a son together that was a stillborn in 2006. Story: For the past two years our marriage has been rocky. We were constantly arguing, every little thing he was doing was getting on my nerves. I started to question if I wanted to continue being in the marriage, These are the two most significant facts in your case from what I read. Losing a baby like this can be devastating and I am so sorry for your loss. Have you talked to anyone about grief counseling? The second part seems to me to be a consequence/symptom of the first. Keep in mind that men grieve on the inside too. When you say that you became annoyed, etc. I assume you mean that you took this out on him. When women do this to men, they do not realize that they are taking a razor blade and slicing away at the tethers of trust between them. This is true whether it is a man or woman doing this. Ultimately the rope frays and breaks. Sometimes it is a series of small slices over time, sometimes it is a huge and deep cut. It sounds like you had both. So sorry to hear this. Really. I hope you can find some comfort in all of this. Good luck.
Recommended Posts