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Posted

I find myself caught in a dilemma... I have feelings for a guy, and he has them for me. We've been flirting and he confronted me about it and both said we like each other.

 

But - this guy's friend told me he has a "girlfriend"! When I asked him to get more specific, he said "well... sort of, they're not really that serious."

 

We haven't talked since, mostly because I am cautious and want to ask him up front. But based on what the real story is, I am conflicted -

 

If he has a girlfriend, then I will feel awful, and think less of him.

 

If they are just casually dating, or he is seeing a few people, suddenly in my mind it seems more okay for me to get closer to him.

 

So where does that line get drawn? And where does it become okay for another woman (aka me) to come in?

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Posted
Ask him and trust him until he proves differently. I think the benefit of the doubt would apply here. He very well could be with another girl at the moment, but not that serious.

 

Question.. If he is, would you still be interested in dating and being monogamous with him? Of course the other girl is out of the equation by now :p

 

Yes, completely. I like him very much.

Posted

'Are you having sexual relations with her?'

 

Perhaps that's an assertive question but he did open the door by sharing that he had a girlfriend.

 

Listen to the answer, match it up with his actions and proceed in concert with your relationship style and values system.

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