tori0001 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Why does it take ignoring his texts to get a positive reaction out of him. It drives me crazy. My reason for doing this because for 2 phone calls he ignored them. First one he said he was sorry for, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. In the same week he ignored another call of mine which I needed to ask him an important question. He never got back to me at all, just ignored me. For 2 days I ignored all his texts, messages, and so forth. I never said why I was ignoring him. Today I finally answered him. We talked back and forth. Without me mentioning it he has made a date to come out and see me, as we are very long distance. I hate the fact that I had to resort to acting in such a manner. 1
Pyro Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 He thought he was losing you which is why he responded. Guy sounds flaky. 2
Author tori0001 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 He's smart, anything I need he's there for me, but sometimes I have to resort to these games. I don't like it, it's childish.
Pyro Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 He's smart, anything I need he's there for me, but sometimes I have to resort to these games. I don't like it, it's childish. and ironically he is a dumbas$ when it comes to communication and dating. 1
Author tori0001 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Ty for the advice. This is a pattern that I have started to see and needs to be addressed somehow. I have been out of dating for so long, and getting back into again, I haven't experienced this type of behavior from other men that I have dated. I'm not sure if it is common or not.
Author tori0001 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Why are there men like this? What's the purpose. Either you want to date me or not. Thanks. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Why are there men like this? What's the purpose. Either you want to date me or not. Thanks. Because most men today are flakey and they're always on the prowl for something newer and better. The only thing you can do is protect yourself and not allow anyone to disrespect you the way he has done. Let this one go. He's already tested your limits and if you let him do it again, he is not going to take you seriously. 3
Author tori0001 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 It makes sense. It's extremely frustrating. You're right, if this relationship where to advance, I could see the same problem popping up over and over.
Author tori0001 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Ty for your input. It's appreciated. Stepping into this again, and the era of OLD, it's a learning experience on how to weed out the good from the bad. I believe there are more creeps then not.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Tori I would like to state that I don't think this is a gender issue because I have encountered the female equivalent of this guy. I think its the generation of texting, social networking, everything done through anonymity. It is very impersonal but that is what dating has come to. Add that and the unsavory men and women who online date, and it can be chaotic. I agree. I should've been more gender neutral in my last post. This type of situation occurs in both genders. Often times you'll hear people say they're busy, but it's really just laziness on their parts. I've also been guilty of doing the fade usually due to lack of interest or GIGS syndrome. Unless that person is on the same page as you- wherein the both of you are for exclusivity and have agreed to it- he is prone to acting flakey. This type of behaviour is definitely more persistent in online dating where etiquettes and manners are thrown out the window. 1
River Rain Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Tori I would like to state that I don't think this is a gender issue because I have encountered the female equivalent of this guy. I think its the generation of texting, social networking, everything done through anonymity. It is very impersonal but that is what dating has come to. Add that and the unsavory men and women who online date, and it can be chaotic. I agree with this completely. It's not just men. I find texting to be so sterile. I made the mistake of thinking that texting and emailing defined a budding friendship with a girl I met, and then a budding relationship with a guy I met - both online, when actually it was simply words. No actions to back up the words unfortunately in my experience. I'm old school I guess, I think that people need to speak to and see each other. I also agree that this is just game playing and you don't need that. It's too immature, imo. 3
veggirl Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 He's smart, anything I need he's there for me, but sometimes I have to resort to these games. I don't like it, it's childish. Well, except, apparently, when you call him with a really important question and he ignores you and doesn't get back to you. You should def ditch him, just tell him it's not going to work out. If he presses, it's because you require more consistency and no hard feelings but he clearly isn't able to provide that.
Author tori0001 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 I don't dump someone as easily as a lot of you guys do. That's not always the answer. Talking to him about it is, which I will when I see him next week. If that doesn't help, then I will have to see what to do.
LittlePrince Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Why does it take ignoring his texts to get a positive reaction out of him. It drives me crazy. My reason for doing this because for 2 phone calls he ignored them. First one he said he was sorry for, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. In the same week he ignored another call of mine which I needed to ask him an important question. He never got back to me at all, just ignored me. For 2 days I ignored all his texts, messages, and so forth. I never said why I was ignoring him. Today I finally answered him. We talked back and forth. Without me mentioning it he has made a date to come out and see me, as we are very long distance. I hate the fact that I had to resort to acting in such a manner. Yet you did anyway proving you are not above using such tactics. Enjoy strategizing the rest of your farce.
Romanticlyhopeless Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 He is trying to show his power in the relationship but it backfired and now you have the power. What you did was use coercive power. Its also known as punishment power, one person has more power and using punishment to show it. By not replying to his phone calls, until you felt ready, it showed how you have the upperhand in the relationship. You forced him to give up his power by calling you until you answered.
Emilia Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 OP, is this still the separated guy that lives in his wife's house?
InJest Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 OP, is this still the separated guy that lives in his wife's house? Yes it is. And there you have it Tori. Could you really not figure this out on your own? Come on. Be honest with yourself here.
veggirl Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Oh geez! Tori, come on. He is not separated, he is married and a cheater. It's only been 2 months, just get out now before you get MORE attached.
.thumb.jpg.5a1f92f51bddbf89f52de2d035e90624.jpg)
Recommended Posts