El Brujo Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I told some people on another forum what I think of the whole idea of body language---that it's pretty silly stuff---and they replied I'd better start thinking of it as being something deadly serious. One even suggested I get some mentoring from a PUA, even though PUAs are misogynistic pigs. This sounds, uh, interesting... except that I don't know any PUAs. But then hey, it's not like I'm scratching my crotch or picking my nose in public... mostly I don't like being stared at, and I don't like staring at others or looking them in the eye because it feels like I'm being disrespectful and intimidating. Whaddya do...
jcrew11 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 You are probably going to ignore this advice, but try taking dance lessons. Besides, body language is really about being sensual or sexually appealling to indicate that you are good in bed. If you can't sexualize your own body, women are going to think you are incapable of satisfying them in bed. Watch "Dancing with the stars" if you don't believe men can use their bodies to attract women without appearing creepy. They say the latin tango dance is one of the biggest turnons for women. It also about being confident with your body and in your body, having good posture, and exuding a sensual presence. 2
xdahliax Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Body language isn't 'silly'. It's pretty important to be able to identify how someone feels about you or about what you're saying without them telling you. I actually don't see how you can do well in dating without knowing how to read nonverbal cues and without using them to your advantage. 3
GirlontheLam Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Body language gives you cues about what people are really thinking. As an experiment, you should go to a park or a coffee shop or something and people watch. Try to read into what people are "saying" without listening hearing their conversation. People give away a lot with body language. From simple things who you are facing in a conversation reveals who you are most interested in. Also observing how people use touch in a conversation is good too. Ignoring body language means you'll be missing out on a lot of subtle cues. 3
Imported Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I think I read from your post before that you're old and alone, maybe even a virgin. Obviously, whatever you're doing...it is not working.
Imported Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 It's not just reading cues, it's also giving them. I try to give very obvious cues to women I like. Even then, there is doubt, but I can see interest perking up.
Author El Brujo Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 I think I read from your post before that you're old and alone, maybe even a virgin. Obviously, whatever you're doing...it is not working. Nuthin' wrong with being a virgin (except to the millions of addicts out there)... read a little more carefully when you lurk, you'll learn that I'm also (*gasp!!!*) openly asexual---and even worse (*gasp!!!!!*) I'm not ashamed of it. OTOH I haven't started that hosting job yet, either.
MrCastle Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 The bulk of communication is non verbal. I want to say 94% of communication is non verbal because I heard Kramer on Seinfeld say it but that's probably exaggerated In any event, body language greatly outweighs anything a person can tell you. Words are meaningless. You learn more about people by what they do and their body's response to what you do. If you're not taking body language seriously; you better start.
yongyong Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I see your problem right here. you just want to ignore obvious rules because you can't adapt? I don't know what you read but what they talk about is the same as the body language books by professional psychologist. You judge other people by their body language (I don't know you but it's just obvious) but you think it's silly if people judge you based on that. good luck with that. One even suggested I get some mentoring from a PUA, even though PUAs are misogynistic pigs. This sounds, uh, interesting... except that I don't know any PUAs.
LittlePrince Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I told some people on another forum what I think of the whole idea of body language---that it's pretty silly stuff---and they replied I'd better start thinking of it as being something deadly serious. One even suggested I get some mentoring from a PUA, even though PUAs are misogynistic pigs. This sounds, uh, interesting... except that I don't know any PUAs. But then hey, it's not like I'm scratching my crotch or picking my nose in public... mostly I don't like being stared at, and I don't like staring at others or looking them in the eye because it feels like I'm being disrespectful and intimidating. Whaddya do... Body language is the most primitive and still most important form of communication until we all become psychic predating verbal and written. We never evolved to the point where verbal and written became our primary means. You use body language intuitively every day without even knowing it.
Author El Brujo Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 In that case, other people have been reading me wrong my whole life.
yongyong Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 No you made them to do it. When someone is lying about obvious things, we say 'you can't cover the sky with two hands'. that's what you are doing here. 'oh I am actually this kind of person but I will act however I want. you better figure me out right' What are they? psychics? lol in the end, it's your life In that case, other people have been reading me wrong my whole life.
LittlePrince Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 In that case, other people have been reading me wrong my whole life. or they have been reading you correctly. Body language communicates emotional states rather than thought.
Million.to.1 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 In that case, other people have been reading me wrong my whole life. HAhahaha... and that's their problem right? 1
LittlePrince Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 HAhahaha... and that's their problem right? I was holding a churro. Cop thought it was a gun. He fired. I'm dead. I guess that's his problem, right?
Author El Brujo Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 LittlePrince, you and orangeone and somedude81 should get together and write a book to teach the rest of us how it's done. Then you could all get rich and you wouldn't need LS anymore. I may be socially inept, but it's not like I'm stoopid...
LittlePrince Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 LittlePrince, you and orangeone and somedude81 should get together and write a book to teach the rest of us how it's done. Then you could all get rich and you wouldn't need LS anymore. I may be socially inept, but it's not like I'm stoopid... I need LS for my entertainment. 1
Author El Brujo Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 I need LS for my entertainment. Oh... well hell's bells, man... why waste your time with LS, when you could read the MyFoulOpinion blog and laugh yourself silly into the next decade?
LittlePrince Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Oh... well hell's bells, man... why waste your time with LS, when you could read the MyFoulOpinion blog and laugh yourself silly into the next decade? I prefer interacting intimately with my entertainment.
jcrew11 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I told some people on another forum what I think of the whole idea of body language---that it's pretty silly stuff---and they replied I'd better start thinking of it as being something deadly serious. One even suggested I get some mentoring from a PUA, even though PUAs are misogynistic pigs. This sounds, uh, interesting... except that I don't know any PUAs. But then hey, it's not like I'm scratching my crotch or picking my nose in public... mostly I don't like being stared at, and I don't like staring at others or looking them in the eye because it feels like I'm being disrespectful and intimidating. Whaddya do... I don't really know what your question is: Are you saying body language isn't useful in dating; or not useful in life in general? Body Language is extremely important for most jobs and office relationships. You don't want to walk around moping, with your head down, and slouching. You don't want your boss to avoid eye contact or slouch around. A good boss and any good salesperson needs to look confident even if they doubt themselves internally. A good leader stands straight, looks you in the eyes, and creates a positive vibe. Using strong body language creates charisma, that appeals to co-workers, customers, and even women. If you look confident, stand tall, smile, look happy; then people are going to think you are a cool positive friendly dude that they want to be friends with. If you walk around staring at the ground with a frown on your face; then people are going to avoid you.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I see your problem right here. you just want to ignore obvious rules because you can't adapt? I don't know what you read but what they talk about is the same as the body language books by professional psychologist. You judge other people by their body language (I don't know you but it's just obvious) but you think it's silly if people judge you based on that. good luck with that. Personally, I've never looked at someone and thought to myself "wow, that guy's body language is just terrible.." I will say "Wow, that guy's acting a bit odd.." Is that poor body language? I don't see a lot of guys who act like that where they stand out from anyone else.. I really don't feel like there's anything special you can gather from a person just standing there with a neutral expression on their face, looking at you, guy or girl.. You have no idea of what's going on in their noggin. To take it to extremes, I've never seen a girl going all pigeon toed, twirling her hair and staring dreamily in my direction.. I just go by how often a girl glances at me, how often our eyes meet and for how long, that's really all you have when it's just a stranger in a book store or local corner store or park or whatever, there's no magic facial expression that will tell you "I WANT YOU", or maybe they're just not looking at me in that way.. How is twirling your hair and different from running a hand through your hair as a guy, or just caressing your beard when you're thinking or whatever.. It can mean lots of things, you can't assume that it always means the same thing. Maybe a girl's nervous because you keep checking her out and she thinks you look like a creeper? Maybe that's why she'll tug on her hair? Who knows. The only real way to gauge interest is if the girl is making an effort to get YOUR interest by talking to you, obviously going out of her way to touch you or bump into you, y'know.. A girl can show no signs of interest and still BE interested, but you'd never know it, and thus they might as well not be interested.. And vice versa. It means jack ****, really.
JLS07 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 You may think body language is a silly idea. In all reality, it’s not. Body language is a form of nonverbal communication, which is a message, sent by means other than the written or spoken word and is estimated that 65% - 95% of face to face interaction is interpreted through body language. Body language can also include interpersonal space, touch, eye contact and facial expressions and with the way one communicates through body language, it can often contradict or complement our words by being delivered non-verbally. For instance, take eye contact and gestures. If you’re asking a stranger out or if you’re on a date, you may say that you’re interested; however, if you aren’t making eye contact and you have your arms crossed in a closed position, she may feel that you aren’t really interested and are just lying to get in her pants. If you don’t like making eye contact, don’t feel that way. Don’t be a creep and stare at her 100%. Casually glance her way and smile and when conversing, look elsewhere every few seconds and focus on her nose or bridge of her eyes so the intimidating and disrespectfulness isn’t being presented. If you are having trouble finding dates, go to a location you enjoy going and through the mutual connecting of the hobbies, the awkwardness will go away and you may feel less intimidating.
ThaWholigan Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Body Language is very important, it communicates a lot more than words do - if you're able to read it. I had a complete ignorance of body language for many years until I began to understand the dynamics of it, how to communicate with it, how to read it, how to understand the subtle points of body language amongst other things. Body Language is vital to life and indeed dating, it's importance shouldn't be downplayed.
todreaminblue Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 You are probably going to ignore this advice, but try taking dance lessons. Besides, body language is really about being sensual or sexually appealling to indicate that you are good in bed. If you can't sexualize your own body, women are going to think you are incapable of satisfying them in bed. Watch "Dancing with the stars" if you don't believe men can use their bodies to attract women without appearing creepy. They say the latin tango dance is one of the biggest turnons for women. It also about being confident with your body and in your body, having good posture, and exuding a sensual presence. I dotn know fi a guy should exude a sensual presence all the time...i havent had girlfriends or myself for that matter refer to a guy as sensual.....lithe might be a better word....even then my girlfriends would crack up if i said yes this guy he si so lithe in his movements.....they definitely would think i was a little fruity if i said mmmm he is so sensual......when i am around the guy i like i actually cant think straight at all I am sensitive to where eh is in the room though my eyes are drawn there automatically, i have no idea what attracted me to him to tell the truth a complete package sort of thing.....a quiet calm strength.....sparkly eyes...nice smile...definitely fit..but a calmness with depth attached got my heart racing a little .......now i just dont think straight...i just want to be around him not thinking straight....smilin......lol.....but as far sensuality goes....thats a woman's realm....or my cat..one of them...can stretch quite sensually......feline....to me is sensual...i think guy dancers should have strength and virility even ballet dancers who are male have that...the ballerina moves with grace and sensuality......the tango is all about masculinity the male lead must be that a lead not the sensual....in my opinion....and i do dance and used to dance quite often.........deb
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