Ramzk001 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 If your ex dumped you for GIGS and after an year comes back at you crying because her life is messed up now. what should we do? Should i help her and give her emotional support? Should i take her back? Or continue NC?
Squidoo Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 When did you last have contact with her before she turned up crying? And what has happened for her life to be a mess?
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 If your ex dumped you for GIGS and after an year comes back at you crying because her life is messed up now. what should we do? Should i help her and give her emotional support? Should i take her back? Or continue NC? Listen to the words carefully!! She might be using you to fix herself and just move on. If that's the case you are not a doormat, a soft pillow to fall on when things get rough. You must get down to the root reason she is contacting you before provide her anything. 1
Author Ramzk001 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 8 months. She started going out with a group of friends and she had boyfriend who used her and dumped her. Now she thinks her life is too messed up and wants me emotional and moral support.
Author Ramzk001 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 @ navytraffic She was cold and selfish as hell when she broke up with me. I havent replied her text on internet, She changed her number, she might call me crying saying same things she told me on internet. I know she will do that. What should i do in that circumstance? What should i say? What should be my response you know if someone crying on the other side of the phone, someone who i used to love (Might still love)
Squidoo Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 DO NOT respond, you've not heard from her in 8 months and then she only contacts you when it's all gone wrong for her. She's just using you to get herself through her rough patch and when she's fixed again she'll disappear just as quickly IMO 1
veggirl Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 She is just using you and if you are for some reason okay with being platonic friends then go for it, I guess, but if you are going to get attached again or want her back then you'd be best off running far away because once she sucks you back in and has gotten what she wants from you, she will bounce. note that she only wants you when her life is in the pooper. 3
stemac Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 @Ramzk001 DONT DO IT stay away, where was she when you were Broken!! ???? Sorry Ramzk001 but she is Taking the Piss, the cheek of it, she will use you again.... you dont need people like her in your life..... they are Rubbish! 1
fiser360 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I would be very careful about how I approached this. This has happened to me several times with several ex's. I've made this mistake of jumping right back in immediately being there for them. Im just that kind of person though. But I'm not going to lie and say things got better, they got their fix of feeling wanted and seeing if they could get under my skin again, sometimes it took even a few months, but everytime they've dropped me even harder than the first time. If you really think that they are being serious, play it cool, dont jump right back in being there for her. Take it slow, if she wants you, she'll come back no matter what. Nothing will stand in her way. But I'd suggest taking it slow and playing it cool. 1
fiser360 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Unless she has CHANGED herself, her life, dropped the Good Time "Friends", removed herself from the G.I.G.S. life / lifestyle and CLEANED UP the mess she made... She has NOTHING to offer you! I agree with this. But if you are completely cold and shut out, theres not going to be anything there. GIGS is a hard thing to overcome, everything always looks better from the outside looking in.
veggirl Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I agree with this. But if you are completely cold and shut out, theres not going to be anything there. GIGS is a hard thing to overcome, everything always looks better from the outside looking in. Sure but it's not the job of the person who was DUMPED to "overcome" it. It's the job of the person who left. His ex hasn't changed at all, for him to even entertain the thought of "helping" her is going to be destructive to him. She hasn't changed, the situation hasn't changed. It would be in HIS best interest to shut her out right now, however "cold" that appears.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 If your ex dumped you for GIGS and after an year comes back at you crying because her life is messed up now. what should we do? Should i help her and give her emotional support? Should i take her back? Or continue NC? IMO, too little too late. That is, she was a year too late to realize that she should not have left you. If my ex did that, I would most certainly not take him back. NO WAY. I probably will have moved on by then, and have someone else in my life. I already do.
Author Ramzk001 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 I havent replied her yet. She had a abusive BF in the past who used to hit her aswell. I gave her everything, restored her self worth, self esteem, happiness everything. Helped her during her international exams, she passed and got into college. You can say when i restored her life, she dumped me out of blue. Now she is enjoying her college life and GIGS. Her "Good time" friend who werent there for her in her bad times gave her "Good" advices. And now im seeing this behavior when she is telling me that her life is a mess. Crying and all BS ---I dont understand why one person still prefer douchebags over someone stable, who gave her everything. (Her influence, her friends got abused by their boyfriends aswell). ---Deep down in my heart i wanted her back, Although reading above posts Im having seconds. Im not taking any decision now, But I dont know why im so confused? ---After reading your posts, she wants to use, right? And i shouldnt be her doormat. Does it mean i should cut off my ties forever?
Author Ramzk001 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 IMO, too little too late. That is, she was a year too late to realize that she should not have left you. If my ex did that, I would most certainly not take him back. NO WAY. I probably will have moved on by then, and have someone else in my life. I already do. There is a girl who really loves me, And i like her too. But whatever i do and where ever i go i cant take off my mind with memories of ex. One day i moved on and other day her thoughts start coming in my mind. I dont know how to deal with it? Even though i follow strict NC, I still used to check her FB profile, That's a curse
NoMoreJerks Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 There is a girl who really loves me, And i like her too. But whatever i do and where ever i go i cant take off my mind with memories of ex. One day i moved on and other day her thoughts start coming in my mind. I dont know how to deal with it? Even though i follow strict NC, I still used to check her FB profile, That's a curse Do yourself a favor and delete + block her from facebook. For your own sanity. You will manage to get over her. Sure, you might not forget the memories and the good times you spent together, and all the landmarks you visited/ spent time at together, but neither can I. After a while you just become numb to it. For some, it takes longer to get there than for others. But think about the way she treated you. Every time you feel that urge to contact her because you remembered the times you spent together, etc., remind yourself of how she mistreated you. Make a list of all the bad things she's done to you.
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