NavyAirTraffic Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I LOVE YOU… NOW GO AWAY! How many times have you been lying in bed knowing you need to go to sleep but you just can't? Images of your lost love dance in your head. The scenes are usually the good times you shared. We all have the alone time that our minds start to wander. We start to think about what I call the "What if" syndrome. I'll explain. When we are by ourselves, physically and emotionally, we tend to dwell on feeling sorry for ourselves. We look back on our ended relationship and wonder what really went wrong. The biggest mistake anyone can make is NOT to realize what led up to the break up. The pain can be unbearable. Sometimes the pain can hurt more than a death of someone close because at least death is final. I believe it’s the not knowing that gets the best of us all. We try to block it out, or the even worse... dwelling on it. Our friends are tired of hearing about it, your family says to get over it because you will meet someone else. We don't want to move on. We tend to over-romanticize what we had... usually when it is too late. When we have those lonely times, we tend to let our hearts wander and it usually gets us in trouble. "If I could only call her and hear her voice, she would listen". "If I show up at his door, he would let me in because I know he still loves me, he's just confused right now“. Sound familiar? The worst is pick up the phone and spilling your guts and when you don't get your way, or you didn't hear what you thought you would, we tend to get angry. This is the worst feeling when you hurt over a lost love. You tell yourself that the next time you see them or talk with your ex that you will claim your love for them. The conversation is tense and you lose your cool and say something out of hurt and end up pushing them further away as well as pushing yourself deeper into the dark, lonely place within ourselves. Those who have never read my posts before, take heed. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, make those mistakes that so many of us have made. Do not call, or make excuses to see, e-mail or text them in any way. You feel terrible already. Multiply that times 10 and you have serious pain issues as well as self-esteem issues. When in doubt, remember this... just because you are at home alone hurting, it doesn't mean your ex is. If they broke up with you, give them ALL THE SPACE THEY NEED. Forget the nonsense about "If I do not contact them, they will forget all about me." That is not the truth whatsoever. You want them to forget about you, don't call them or go by their house... WARNING: I cannot express in words the feelings you will have in your heart or your head if you do this but it will hurt so much because they will look at you, possibly with wild abandon, thinking or even telling you to your face that you have lost your mind and they are GLAD they dumped you. DON'T DO IT!! Sometime, we just need a break... I don't mean a few hours or days… I mean weeks or possibly months. It's not easy to gauge really. The only thing... **LISTEN CAREFULLY** THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER IS YOU AND NOTHING ELSE. If you think for one moment, that you can change their mind with a poem, a gift, a proclamation of love or that you will change... it won't work. It is a cheap and desperate tactic that usually makes people feel sorry for you rather than wanting you back. Why would you want someone back after they told you to go away? Let them come to you... that way you know they are thinking of you and you are NOT making foolish mistakes. It is so hard. It is so hard to wait, wonder, or know they are already with someone else. It is almost unbearable… but you will get through it. I speak from experience. I have made mistakes, I have pleaded before, begged and said I have changed... then I stopped. One day I simply stopped. I put myself in THEIR shoes instead of my own and said... "How stupid and pathetic you must look to them." It's sad. Stop what you are doing and take advantage of your time... if you waste it, you cannot blame anyone else but yourself. You have the knowledge, the self-control, and the friends to motivate you to a better you. Keep your chin up and realize that even though it may FEEL like the end of the world... it isn't. I promise you. 6
Author NavyAirTraffic Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Originally posted by homebrew, I couldn't bump it but this needs to be read.
Author NavyAirTraffic Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 I (homebrew/Gibson) did not actually write that. I snagged it from somewhere, just don't remember where. Regardless, It's a good read and great advice. You're homebrew, I never knew. In the beginning I read all of your threads, I actually have homebrew's "thread started" link bookmarked on my computer/phone/iPad. I'm glad you never left!
mishy Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 really needed to read that right now, impeccable timing
NoMoreJerks Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Stop what you are doing and take advantage of your time... if you waste it, you cannot blame anyone else but yourself. You have the knowledge, the self-control, and the friends to motivate you to a better you. Keep your chin up and realize that even though it may FEEL like the end of the world... it isn't. I promise you. Words to live by. I have stopped wasting my time on my ex, and am moving on.. It was easier than I thought it would be, even though the first few weeks I thought I was going to die. It does get better. And think about it this way, why waste time on someone who is a hopeless case when u can be spending that time finding the right person?
Gloria25 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Oh, I agree.... There was a time I'd try to talk it out, work it out, try to convince them of what they were missing out on....but nah, I've grown past that. But it still stings... So, just gotta stay strong and don't to other things like send casual e-mails or little "how are ya's"....while that's not begging them to stay, you're still trying to keep in contact with them, which also is bad too.
Sugarkane Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 The title of this thread made me laugh, it's such a dumper thing to say
LostOne1 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Words to live by. I have stopped wasting my time on my ex, and am moving on.. It was easier than I thought it would be, even though the first few weeks I thought I was going to die. It does get better. And think about it this way, why waste time on someone who is a hopeless case when u can be spending that time finding the right person? In my case.. I'm not gonna find the right girl.. she has to find me now. I always chase to find a girl and so far it never has worked. About time I let life throw a girl into my life without me having to make the effort to fight for her or chase after her. I was the guy that unexpectedly jumped into my ex's life outta no where. I kinda hope some girl can do that for me.. just come outta no where and surprise me like I did with my ex. I'm tired of always fighting for someone's love. I just want someone to fight for me for once. 2
mishy Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 In my case.. I'm not gonna find the right girl.. she has to find me now. I always chase to find a girl and so far it never has worked. About time I let life throw a girl into my life without me having to make the effort to fight for her or chase after her. I was the guy that unexpectedly jumped into my ex's life outta no where. I kinda hope some girl can do that for me.. just come outta no where and surprise me like I did with my ex. I'm tired of always fighting for someone's love. I just want someone to fight for me for once. thats exactly how i feel. I have given up on men, and chasing them or even wanting them.
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