Eternal Sunshine Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 He has a normal job and this is just a hobby. Still, I listened to some of his music and it's very dark. Curious about your thoughts? I am very drawn to him :/
yongyong Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 are you talking about these kind of people? when I was watching the video, I was really disgusted. But, I am sure he would be little different if he is in a band, not a just fan. anyways I thought you were looking for guys with Phd? does he have a good degree better than yours?
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 He is a software developer, certainly smart enough. I never said that I looked for someone with PhD, just someone college educated with a stable job that is intelligent and articulate. He has no tattoos, no long hair, no piercings and nothing to make him look like a typical death metal person. Still, that's what he does most weekends.....
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I don't think the darkness is the problem … just if the band sucked. Which it might. I don't like metal much. 1
ascendotum Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 You and a death metal dude, that's a bit different. You get your mix of professional guy/bad boy. It seems like his love of death metal has not turned you off so far, so I think you should not discount him with that by focusing on stereotype assessments, and keep seeing what develops, focusing on the qualities you want in a bf. He might be too melancholy or has anger issues, but you would pick that up. What is appealing to you most, his looks, the split lifestyle, his intense personality? Would you be prepared to go to his gigs every weekend like most rock band gfs to make sure they don't hook up with the groupies?
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 You and a death metal dude, that's a bit different. You get your mix of professional guy/bad boy. It seems like his love of death metal has not turned you off so far, so I think you should not discount him with that by focusing on stereotype assessments, and keep seeing what develops, focusing on the qualities you want in a bf. He might be too melancholy or has anger issues, but you would pick that up. What is appealing to you most, his looks, the split lifestyle, his intense personality? Would you be prepared to go to his gigs every weekend like most rock band gfs to make sure they don't hook up with the groupies? What appeals to me? I am not going to lie, he has an awesome body and he sometimes performs shirtless (yeah I know ). He may not appeal to everyone though, he is not tall (just slightly taller than me) and he is losing his hair... so there. He is intelligent in the the similar type of way that I am. Conversations with him are easy and natural. Our views on the world, politics etc align. I find myself nodding at things he says as I would have said them myself. He doesn't bore me. He is a bit of loner and a bit eccentric (like myself). I feel like he wouldn't crowd me or be overly clingy like last bf. I don't know him that well yet and I don't know know how interested in me he is but we will see. I would go to some gigs of course, but not to all. I would give him space and trust him to do the right thing, unless proven otherwise.
CptObvious Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I'm pretty sure I'd ever get laid again if every girl knew the type of music I'm actually into. Gotta find out her genre first and match it, otherwise you're just taking unnecessary strikes all over the damn place. I'm not sure if he's just stupid or he just doesn't give a ****. Either way, it's a mistake on the scoreboard since OP is now ~50% less likely to give it up. I will give an award to any guy who can get it in with this **** blasting in their rides on every date. Roc Marciano - My persona (Prod by Kraftsmen) - YouTube
kaylan Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Its just music. I listen to so many kinds of music and Im an average dude. If hes a regular joe, than I wouldnt be bothered by it. Its not like hes some loser high school goth kid. 1
kaylan Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 PS - dont look for reasons to ruin this. Go with the flow. 2
TheBigQuestion Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 As a death metal musician myself, I will let you in on a little secret. Most people in extreme metal bands, as well as their fans, tend to be geeky intellectual types, regardless of their outward appearance. A few of them are dumb rednecks too, but you could probably spot those from a mile away. I'm amused that people actually still get scared by music and musical subcultures in 2012. Also, what dating him will be like depends on what instrument he plays. If he's the drummer, he's probably in very good aerobic shape, which means he might be good in the sack. Something to consider. Doing this for an hour straight is no joke: If he's the bass player, avoid at all costs (That's what I play ) 1
mesmerized Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 He sounds great! Smart, attractive and actually has an interesting hobby. I would go for it and I think you should too. 1
frustr8ed Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Is this him! http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QskCwTwdzlY/UAE7jlmghtI/AAAAAAAABUM/FC1KtLcQLUk/s640/cookie_monster.jpg 2
ladyabstrused Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 ES, I think you shouldn't worry too much. By the way you described him, he seems to be someone you're really comfortable with and enjoy spending time with. Go with it. I don't think there's anything wrong with music taste or the music that he works with unless he makes a shrine out of it or something (that'd be a bit creepy I would think). Plus I think you're smart and would smell trouble if there is any with this guy. Good luck!
kaylan Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 If he's the bass player, avoid at all costs (That's what I play ) As a fellow bassist, I must disagree. I encourage all women to indulge in a bass player. We tend to have strong skillful hands (especially fingers), because we dont use a pick . Well some bassists use picks, but I use my fingers 85 percent of the time. Is this him! http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QskCwTwdzlY/UAE7jlmghtI/AAAAAAAABUM/FC1KtLcQLUk/s640/cookie_monster.jpg :lmao: cookie monster vocals
yongyong Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 If he is in a decent band, I am sure he gets laid regularly with groupies. well he might not be like that and choose to stay single even though girls throw themselves at him... I am just jealous 1
utterer of lies Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 He has a normal job and this is just a hobby. Still, I listened to some of his music and it's very dark. Curious about your thoughts? I am very drawn to him :/ Better someone with some weird interests that you don't understand than someone bland. 2
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 He is a drummer with a great upper body But sadly, I haven't heard from him today. We also don't have any specific plans for when to meet next so... Too bad as I really liked him.
Mint Sauce Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 just to add to the body of evidence: one of my friends is into death metal/grindcore (yes, noise to you and me). He has a PhD in science, is married with 2 kids, a great father, and a very very kind, stable, reliable person. So if contact is re-established, I'd say don't hesitate because of the death-metal interest. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 The death metal band guys from my experience are essentially nerds with flare, I've known quite a few over the years as friends, worked with them as well. If they weren't into death metal and taking on the whole look and living a bit of the theme, then they'd just be regular nerdy guys who are eccentric/introverted and are a bit more outspoken than their fellow nerds. However a lot you won't recognize in public, some have piercings, fancy hair-do's but usually wear hats if they do. They're not center of the spot light kind of guys either out of their element at all. They are typically fairly intelligent, and artistic so graphic design they are common in, working with them in IT was very typical from my experience, they are also quite rampant in the gaming community, and I would imagine them also are in engineering type jobs as well, education, music/movie industry and even medical. They're just regular guys really, It's just a choice in music and style and to be honest most of them were at least half-decent guys from my experience, they definitely err more on the side of "nice guys" than "ladies men" but being in a band always helps any guy with the ladies regardless of what kind of music it is, could be blue grass or confederate music and in the right state you'd have tons of women still after you. So I'd treat it like a regular situation as a regular guy...If you're into the style and theme of that (personally don't think I'd ever date a death metal chick, not really my style) , I tried it when I was younger, found her physically attractive and intriguing but also incompatible. How he treats you, and how much interest he shows you is what is important here...he's in a band, so If It's got a spit of popularity they'll be at least a few bar wenches/groupies on his tail at any given time.
Woggle Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 The type of music he makes has no bearing and what kind of person he is. Many of the men behind some love songs treated women horribly. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Thanks guys, we will see what happens. I met him few months ago, we had few dates but I dismissed him as a romantic prospect because of the death metal thing. He did a bit of chasing, tying to get me to go on another date. I was unsure, canceled and rescheduled many times, often didn't respond to his texts - wasn't very fair to him. We finally had dinner few days ago, and I had a great time. I got very interested then but he seems to have cooled off since Because I kind of strung him along, I initiated few texts, he responded but not very enthusiastically. I even asked him when he is free to catch up again and he responded with something lame like "Maybe, possibly, should be available on Friday." so I said "OK, when you figure out if you are available, let me know."...... I am gonna leave the ball in his court. Blah, I HATE dating.
xdahliax Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I hate dating too! But I wouldn't date him. I couldn't respect what he does because I hate that music and frankly, people into death metal kind of worry me.
Els Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Probably should depend on how MUCH he is into it. I do know a few people who casually listen to Death Metal and they're decent folks. One is married, another is a doctor. I don't have much fondness for the genre but I think to some people, it's just music and nothing to make a fuss about.
Recommended Posts