klouds Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I was with my girlfriend for 4 years, I feel like it was your typical relationship. We were in love, did a lot together. Wanted a future together. We had fights but nothing major, never took any breaks never on and off. We developed a great bond and we're each other best friends. I know I'm painting this picture as some wonderful masterpiece. But we did have our flaws and problems and things we did to each other that the other didn't like. I was too available and gave her too much control bc I thought that was what would make her happy. She broke up with me 3 weeks ago after being distant for a few weeks but still going through the motions of talking to me on the phone and what not. She said she was unhappy and had been for a few months. She said she never felt like she could tell me things like that in our relationship. I never felt like she would talk to me about anything. She would attack me with things that were bothering her, she would TELL me what I was doing wrong, so of course I would get defensive and bc of my reaction she didn't think she could talk to me. After hearing her excuse for ending it with me I was angry and disappointed with the obvious pain and hurt. But I felt like I got so disrespected bc she held it in for months and I guess almost went through some of the coping process while being with me. I made the mistakes of calling and texting and being desperate bc I wanted to be with her more than anything. I took responsibility for everything. She would respond and answer... She wouldn't meet up at all costs ( says it won't be healthy). The last time I contacted her was 5 days ago, we talked for for an hour and half and she slipped up and called me babe at one point. her cousin moved back home that she's close with a few months ago, I think this has something to do with it as she is always now going out with her and acts so happy. I've been a wreck, trying to put on a strong happy show. But it hurts, at first it was just about the pain of losing that relationship, but as the weeks have gone by I know I still love her and want her, not the idea of her. we neglected eachother at times were mean to eachother, we had gotten too comfortable in the relationship. I want to know a females point of view mostly, does she still miss me? Does she think about me? Should I hold out hope while still working on myself and moving on? It just seems its so easy for her to go have a good time and flirt with guys like the 4+ years didnt matter. I know what I'm doing to myself over the whole thing isn't healthy. But I'm heart broken. she also admitted that the thoughts of the future weren't like she saw, we were raised different in terms of religion, she would want her kids to be catholic and what not. I understand some of her concerns, but I feel if you love someone you can make things work. before trying this whole no contact thing when we would talk she would cry and Say she never meant to hurt me and that she hates that she put me through this. thanks for reading, sorry its so long.
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