Necris Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I know this topic has been on here alot but I'm still curious. Most people I notice say they meet their significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend through their social circle, and that cold approach rarely yields any results unless you are extraordinarily attractive or charismatic. Though I do know some people who have met someone through cold approach like my dad according to him he cold-approached my mom and now they are married but unlike me he's extraordinarily charismatic, according to himself he was super attractive and girls always wanted him, and he's a literal genius, I also had a few friends who primarily met women through cold approach but they were either attractive (women randomly approach them all the time so minimal effort is required on their part) or very charismatic. What are your thoughts on this? Also could someone explain social circle vs cold approach game, and what constitutes your social circle? Also I have a personal question, I noticed my social circle contains very few women as my social circle is small and composed of mostly guys many of them nerdy like myself, and many of my interests aren't particularly attractive to most women and I know I'm terribad with women (no I'm not being negative, just realistic and this is based on facts) so what should I do? Find another social circle? But joining a group of people that I don't have much interest in being with for the purpose of picking up girls already in that group sounds like it just won't work. And like I said I'm terribad with women in general so cold-approaching always always fails with me.
Author Necris Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Join clubs and groups. I have though the population in my social circle is overwhelmingly male.
Sun Devil Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I am experiencing the exact same problem. When I exand my social circle, all I get is more guys. How do I get more girls in my social circle?
yongyong Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Do things you wouldn't do as an average american guy. What average american guys do? watching sports, drinking beer, cars, ufc, nascar, gym etc. try pottery class, yoga, wine tasting, cooking class,salsa etc. you might not like those but you will like it once you see cute ladies in there I am experiencing the exact same problem. When I exand my social circle, all I get is more guys. How do I get more girls in my social circle?
ThaWholigan Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Do things you wouldn't do as an average american guy. What average american guys do? watching sports, drinking beer, cars, ufc, nascar, gym etc. try pottery class, yoga, wine tasting, cooking class,salsa etc. you might not like those but you will like it once you see cute ladies in there Yongyong is right here. You have to actually go to places where women are and talk to them. And the more you tell yourself you suck at talking to women, the more you will suck at talking to women. Tell yourself that you are getting better at it. Learn how to do it. Watch your dad when he talks to women or talks to your mum. Read books and download/watch videos of how to do it. 1
MrCastle Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Cold approach game is not just based on charisma and looks (the two biggest keys to your success rate) but also has to do with luck. I don't know about you, but there are very few highly attractive single women. So you can approach all those hotties you see in the streets but how many of them are sexless? Honestly. If she doesn't have a boyfriend she most likely has at least a few suitors she's banging or planning to bang. She may give you her number and it may never materialize and it has nothing to do with how you look or how tight your game is, she's just spoken for. Social circle at least gives you a chance to display your positive personality traits and the girl gets a chance to know you, as well as strengthen your interactions with, and understanding of women. She becomes familiar with you and may grow to be attracted to you. Most of the success I have with girls in my social circle are girls that I know deep down wouldn't give me a second look online or in a cold approach. Not that I think of myself as unattractive or anything like that but the competition is too great out there. There is always going to be someone out there taller, or better looking, or with a better job, or a more interesting life, whatever. At least in social circle game you're able to throw your hat into the ring and you have a puncher's chance. 1
yongyong Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Cold approach = trying to make quick money by investing in risky items Social circle game = Investing in a stock that will slowly grow over time. You could go out and get a GF within a month by doing mad approach. Or You can slowly build social circle that will bring you steady potential GF. Cold approach game is not just based on charisma and looks (the two biggest keys to your success rate) but also has to do with luck. I don't know about you, but there are very few highly attractive single women. So you can approach all those hotties you see in the streets but how many of them are sexless? Honestly. If she doesn't have a boyfriend she most likely has at least a few suitors she's banging or planning to bang. She may give you her number and it may never materialize and it has nothing to do with how you look or how tight your game is, she's just spoken for. Social circle at least gives you a chance to display your positive personality traits and the girl gets a chance to know you, as well as strengthen your interactions with, and understanding of women. She becomes familiar with you and may grow to be attracted to you. Most of the success I have with girls in my social circle are girls that I know deep down wouldn't give me a second look online or in a cold approach. Not that I think of myself as unattractive or anything like that but the competition is too great out there. There is always going to be someone out there taller, or better looking, or with a better job, or a more interesting life, whatever. At least in social circle game you're able to throw your hat into the ring and you have a puncher's chance.
Author Necris Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Yongyong is right here. You have to actually go to places where women are and talk to them. And the more you tell yourself you suck at talking to women, the more you will suck at talking to women. Tell yourself that you are getting better at it. Learn how to do it. Watch your dad when he talks to women or talks to your mum. Read books and download/watch videos of how to do it. I never saw the benefit of lying to myself I am actually perhaps objectively terrible with women, and I have made zero progress, I'm not being negative just stating facts, I have to be honest with myself here. Saying I can kill Kobe Bryant in basketball won't make it so. I have tried looking for information on attracting women, and I have seen some useful tips but nothing approaching some sort of magic formula for attraction. As for my dad, he's a really cool guy but we have opposite personalities he's a very type A person very outspoken, not shy at all, extremely aggressive, he's into stuff like illegal street racing (as an actual racer extremely good at it I hear as well, manages to almost never get caught by the police recently he did get busted but again he's very charismatic and went to court without a lawyer and got off scot free), modding cars and motorcycles, MMA fighting, and he's far far more charismatic than I am he can go anywhere and people will feel naturally drawn to him as he knows exactly what to say and when to say it.
NYC-BigKat Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I am experiencing the exact same problem. When I exand my social circle, all I get is more guys. How do I get more girls in my social circle? Me too & it sucks so much. I have 2 friends I like to be with sometimes & it dont help me to get girls. Only my uncle knows how to do it but its kinda like hard to do what he does though .
yongyong Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Look he is giving you a good advice and you are taking it negatively. that's your problem right there. let's say there is a kid at the bottom of the class. yeah you can call him dumb since he is dumb. will he get better if he keeps telling himself I am dumb? maybe you shouldn't look at the result and just think about what you've done. 'oh I talked to 5 men/women today, I feel good now' I never saw the benefit of lying to myself I am actually perhaps objectively terrible with women, and I have made zero progress, I'm not being negative just stating facts, I have to be honest with myself here. Saying I can kill Kobe Bryant in basketball won't make it so. I have tried looking for information on attracting women, and I have seen some useful tips but nothing approaching some sort of magic formula for attraction. As for my dad, he's a really cool guy but we have opposite personalities he's a very type A person very outspoken, not shy at all, extremely aggressive, he's into stuff like illegal street racing (as an actual racer extremely good at it I hear as well, manages to almost never get caught by the police recently he did get busted but again he's very charismatic and went to court without a lawyer and got off scot free), modding cars and motorcycles, MMA fighting, and he's far far more charismatic than I am he can go anywhere and people will feel naturally drawn to him as he knows exactly what to say and when to say it. 1
Author Necris Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Look he is giving you a good advice and you are taking it negatively. that's your problem right there. let's say there is a kid at the bottom of the class. yeah you can call him dumb since he is dumb. will he get better if he keeps telling himself I am dumb? maybe you shouldn't look at the result and just think about what you've done. 'oh I talked to 5 men/women today, I feel good now' But how does that help? Should I be like, "I talked to a girl today and got rejected, good job self we are doing awesome"? Results is what I care about. Studying for a test and failing, then telling yourself, "well at least I studied", doesn't make the failure better. Now I never said I can't improve but I know I haven't made any real progress and I know I'm still terrible with women.
Author Necris Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Do things you wouldn't do as an average american guy. What average american guys do? watching sports, drinking beer, cars, ufc, nascar, gym etc. try pottery class, yoga, wine tasting, cooking class,salsa etc. you might not like those but you will like it once you see cute ladies in there Actually being an average american guy will get you ladies. Average guys typically can get them a lady. Those who can't aren't exactly average. What won't get you ladies is being a nerdy guy like myself I'm interested in things like software programming, I used to be interested in astronomy and biology but not as much now, playing video games, watching anime and such not too many girls are interested in those things. Now there are women in my social circle but not many and they don't seem interested in me . Now I have tried new things like taking an acting class (no success at all, and I'm not that good of an actor either). Also isn't it generally a bad idea to join a group for the sole purpose of finding someone? You won't enjoy yourself and will feel disappointed when the inevitable happens, not finding anyone.
jcrew11 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 But how does that help? Should I be like, "I talked to a girl today and got rejected, good job self we are doing awesome"? Results is what I care about. Studying for a test and failing, then telling yourself, "well at least I studied", doesn't make the failure better. Now I never said I can't improve but I know I haven't made any real progress and I know I'm still terrible with women. Hah, u get rejected by one girl and you are going to quit women forever? If that is your perspective, then just go gay and meet other men who like video games. Do you think any girl will want a boyfriend who is ugly, has no communication skills, no relationship skills, and no common hobbies? Why exactly do you want a girlfriend - just someone who is hot and will kiss you? Dating and relationships take time and effort. You need to practice talking to women. You need to make friends with women and its even possible to maintain platonic relationships at first; and then figure out if something can happen later. Are you just afraid of women? Have you never had a conversation with any women? Do you go to an all boys school?
jcrew11 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Actually being an average american guy will get you ladies. Average guys typically can get them a lady. Those who can't aren't exactly average. What won't get you ladies is being a nerdy guy like myself I'm interested in things like software programming, I used to be interested in astronomy and biology but not as much now, playing video games, watching anime and such not too many girls are interested in those things. Now there are women in my social circle but not many and they don't seem interested in me . Now I have tried new things like taking an acting class (no success at all, and I'm not that good of an actor either). Also isn't it generally a bad idea to join a group for the sole purpose of finding someone? You won't enjoy yourself and will feel disappointed when the inevitable happens, not finding anyone. There are a lot of desperate chubby and nerdy girls that will be willing to date nerdy guys. Just be on the lookout for them. If all else fails, join a church and tell the minister that you are seeking a girlfriend/wife. Ministers are usually very good at setting up their parishioners.
Author Necris Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) Hah, u get rejected by one girl and you are going to quit women forever? Oh come now, one girl? I have been getting rejected by every girl I talk to being rejected once isn't bad, being rejected I don't know how many times slowly erodes at me though. Also I never said I'm quitting women just wondering about social circle vs cold approach. Are you just afraid of women? Have you never had a conversation with any women? Do you go to an all boys school? Also no I'm not afraid of women, I do hate rejection, but I don't really fear it any more I have grown accustomed to that feeling of being rejected so I don't care about it, it just makes things awkward, believe it or not I have conversations with women every day, and I don't go to an all boys school and never had, besides I'm too old for all boys schools isn't that for highschool aged people and not people in their twenties? Edited October 21, 2012 by Necris
jcrew11 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Well then, your cold approach to women is not working. Maybe you need to improve your appearance, clothes, etc. Maybe you need to improve your speaking style and conversation style. Talk about things that girls are interested in instead of boring them. The Social Circle focuses on building platonic friendships with women and then networking to find girls to date. Instead of flat-out asking women to go out with you, try to create a platonic friendship first where you can gain their trust. If you really want to meet women, try new hobbies just for fun, or more co-ed events. Women like Cooking, yoga, wine tasting, dancing, concerts. There are a lot of singles events and speed dating events that can be a start towards expanding your network. There are also business networking events that can help your professional development and expand your circle. Try going on vacation to a larger city to meet new women. If you have a skill that women need help with: fixing computers, teaching math, fixing the house, etc. would be a good way to expand your circle. Go to Church, talk to your neighbors who might have female friends. In this day and age, its easy to be a loner hermit, so it requires more effort to build your social skills.
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