loveinblue Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I'm only 18, so to think this is the last of my romantic struggles is naive.. yet this situation is eating away at me. I dated this guy for almost a year, and I loved him - you know that first infatuated teenage passionate love that can never be imitated. It was also a massive roller coaster. We constantly fought and made up, and there were times he went out with girls behind my back - and there was no cheating here physically done but... still, I don't get it. He felt he couldn't be friends with girls with me, when really I just said it made me uncomfortable cause he was VERY flirty. He talked about other girls a lot, but assured I was the only one he really wanted. I don't doubt he loved me, he just was... an ass. The way we ended was also very sloppy, it ended in a fight and was not clean cut. We continued to hook up afterwards, but started to see other people. I, too quickly, got involved with another guy - who is perfect... he's so sweet and caring and I do care about him so much. But now this first guy has changed (okay, he's begun to I'm not that naive to think he's entirely different but even his friends have noticed positive changes). And he regrets the way he hurt me, and wants to be with me again. It's so unfair and selfish and.. evil of me to even have these doubts with my current boyfriend... but I can't help it. And this worst thing is... although I do think it just may be too late for my old love and I to rekindle anything... I'm not ready for him to move on. And yes I know that is so so horrible of me to even think! It's so selfish and I know that, so why do I feel it? I care about them both so much, and it's unfair for me to have doubts - but my current boyfriend has said he doesn't care what's fair he just wants to be with me. He's the logical choice here, so why do I find myself wanting what I know is bad for me?
Author loveinblue Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Is it unfair for me to be with this new guy? I really do care about him, but with these conflicting feelings I feel like I don't deserve him. He's great though, and I'd be crushed to lose him, but if I'm hurting him more by overthinking all this then maybe thats bad too?
Jamesblame Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Don't go back. Sadly it doesn't really change. But at the same time it's not right to go after someone when your heart is halfway there. It's not unethical as much as it can be counter productive. Do you like the guy because he's different from an ex or because you really like him? And does he want to date you or commit to you. It's fine to go date other people. But committing to them in a ltr can just cause hurt feelings.
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