rubie Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Hi everyone... Long time no post! You most likely don't remember me, but just to refresh your memories, I will link to a post I made a few months back about a jealousy problem I was having. You will find it right here . The follow up on that story is as follows: We broke up because I discovered that he was lying to me about a lot of things and he was too immature to have a long distance relationship that involved honesty and openness. Anyway, I'm all the better for it now and I don't even miss him. (It's been almost five months since the breakup.) For a while, I was just having fun, meeting new guys and not looking for anything serious. I met a lot of awsome people and a lot of people I don't care to talk to ever again. So, I sort of found out more of what I was looking for. Well, about three weeks ago, I was at work and this really attractive guy came through my line to checkout (I work at a grocery store ). Nothing happened but we talked a little bit and he kept looking at me. Hm... and he came in twice more that day to buy random stuff. I didn't get his number that day. Two days later, when I was working again, he came back in there, went through my line again and still, no numbers were exchanged. Later that day, he came in for the third time that day and finally asked me if I was seeing anyone. I said no, that I was not, and we exchanged numbers. Alright, I will leave out the details of how we have hung out and blahh blah blah but lets just say that I like him a lot, we have been spending a fair amount of time together and I don't really wanna look around for someone else to date anymore. I like him this much. However, here are the catch(es): -he's a work-a-holic, he works for himself and he's always busy, which I can deal with, as long as I get some of his time. -he's 24, (I'm 19, and that's not the problem but anyway) and he was recently divorced from his wife of 6 years. Together they have one child that is four and one that is 9 months old. This really doesn't bother me, I just wonder if I am a rebound girl or what not. - he's sort of had a rough life which in some strange was attracts me to him even more. It's like, he's unreachable inside but I like the challange? Am I just setting myself up for failure and a broken heart? So, I am just thinking, what if I am just the rebound girl for whom he will have no time, and supose this goes on for a number of months and he's still aloof and unreachable? What then? Furthermore, I supose what I am trying to achieve by posting here is HOW DO YOU MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE but NOT THROW YOURSELF ON SOMEONE. I don't want to be annoying or clingy, but I do want him to know that I am interested. And, to throw some weirdness into the mix, yesterday he came over and we ended up sleeping together for the first time. I don't know what to think of it because I would like to see a relationship go further with him, but I don't want to PUSH him. Ugh. He did, however, ask me if he was someone I could see myself with in a couple of months and I said yes. I guess just please post and give me your thoughts on this situation. I need insight that I am not getting from myself...
StartingAgain Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Uh, how long ago did he divorce? If it was less than six months, you should be having nothing to do with him. No, I don't think your a rebound girl. I think you're just for sex. This would explain his aloofness. He was married for six years and has two kids. You are 19 and cannot possibly understand the world he lives in. I don't think that your age difference is an issue, but the diffrerences in experience is. You say he's a workaholic and he has children, so he won't have much time. You say he's unreachable inside and that you find this a challenge. I hope some women will come in here and set you straight on how much pain is in store for you there! You are only 19 years old. It is not time for you to be in a serious relationsip. Believe it or not, you are way too young. You are is a time of your life when you should be having a ball, not tying youself down with a man with two kids. Never throw yourself on someone or chase them. Have more self-repect than that. Make men accept you for who you are. If they can't do that, to hell with them. "Am I just setting myself up for failure and a broken heart? " Bottom line: yes.
Author rubie Posted July 31, 2004 Author Posted July 31, 2004 Well, um, thanks for your honesty. I didn't really plan on chasing him and when we saw each other today he was really not aloof at all. He seemed a lot more open and it was nice.
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