A little goes a long way!

[WirelessBrain]

First I just want to say a BIG hello! I'm new here so forgive me if I make any of the newbie mistakes!

 

Okay, so as the title says I could do with a little advice, i'll try to keep this short and sweet so you don't fall asleep half-way through.

 

Basically, I came out of a 2 year relationship 2 months ago. He broke up with me as he stated his feelings were changing for me. Now we had a very 'difficult' relationship so to say. We were the best thing and the worst thing to happen to each other and have been through a great deal but we had that 'connection' so to say and we told each other things that we wouldn't even tell our closest family. So yes, we were hopelessly in love for 2 years, had our issues and struggles but managed to always pull through in the end.

 

So yes, it has been 2 months since he broke up with me. We broke up and I decided for once I wasn't going to chase, I was going to let him go and let him be happy. I did just that, we didn't have contact for a month, got rid of social networks etc and I was doing "okay" then a month or so later his friend passed a message on to me from him about something funny and comical, I replied but nothing more came from it. A few days later he sent me a friend request on Facebook, I accepted (thinking he missed me and wants to sort things out), I message him a nice brief hello, hope all is well message - No reply. Turns out he accidently added me. I forget it, and carry on trying to be strong, I then make contact with him in regards to exchanging things (in hopes of bringing that closure for myself), no reply. Finally, we exchange stuff through a mutual friend.

 

Now, about 2 weeks ago we bump into each other in a club, both drunk which means things never end well. We got talking, tears flowed from both of us, saying how hard things have been, how we love each other and how much we care for each other. We kiss a few times until I tell him he should go. He then texts me saying we should meet tomorrow, I agree. Tomorrow comes, hangover hits and he cancels stating it is too difficult to see me and too soon. I do not respond.

 

I carry on trying to be strong, hoping he will finally man up and come and swoop me off my feet. I get a phone call from him around midnight. I answer this call (Stupidly) and there is silence and just someone talking in the background (Alarm bells go off and I go into psycho "He's found someone new" mode), phone goes dead. I call back asking why he called. Apparently another accident, he said sorry didn't mean to and hung up, then got a text straight after saying sorry. He was clearly drunk. I reply stating he should delete my number as I don't want calls like that, tell him to take care and enjoy the night. No reply, no explanation, nothing.

 

So today I come to you for advice. What should I possibly do? He seems to be over me, constantly informing the world how happy he is now, but yet I try to do the same, move on but things like this happen. Should I carry on and take this as a sign deep down he wants to be with me or should I see this as he is messing with my head?

 

 

Honestly, I have no idea what to think, ANY advice would be GREAT! I attempted to keep it short and sweet but I guess I kind of failed!

 

God bless anyone who managed to read the whole thing! Haha!

[ladyabstrused]

Welcome to the forum, WB

 

You know, I'm not one who's good with relationship advice. But I felt like anyone deserves someone who is honest and truthful. Those accidents could really be accidents - or not. You'll never know until you confront him with it.

 

I'd really like to say, move on and forget about this guy, cos he doesn't seem interested, even if there is anything there, it's probably him missing your presence or missing having you around. If he really wanted to, he would or could have called and talked, or came to see you or whatever. But he didn't. So I'd take it that he's not interested and I'd move on.

 

Plus like you said, he keeps saying how happy he is now. Where in all this do you take it that he still wants to be with you? I don't see it...

[River Rain]

My ex did the same thing, but he strung me along for three weeks with the "it's over" then the "I miss you, we can work it out" bull. I kept falling for it, and it hurt me even more, messed with my emotions. I would say you're doing everything right by trying to be strong and moving on. Maybe it's time to change your phone number. And I would just ignore any further contact, but that's me.

[NavyAirTraffic]

My ex did the same thing, but he strung me along for three weeks with the "it's over" then the "I miss you, we can work it out" bull. I kept falling for it, and it hurt me even more, messed with my emotions. I would say you're doing everything right by trying to be strong and moving on. Maybe it's time to change your phone number. And I would just ignore any further contact, but that's me.

 

Exactly this right here, he's stringing you along. He cared enough about you to leave you, that is your first clue. He is contacting you/talking to you because he hasn't replaced you yet. He'll keep doing this until he finds what he considers a "better replacement". Take me for example.

 

Ex left me, I went NC on my end but didn't follow it to the fullest extent (just like you), every time she contacted me I responded. Every week (last 3 weeks) she would say "I miss you", "I want to see you" yada f*ucking yada. The last time was monday, I've written this before but I'll share again.

 

She called/texted/missed me/had to see me. She came over, we talked/hugged/slept together. 3 hours after leaving my house the next day I get a text "I'm sorry, I found what I am looking for. I should have never slept with you, I missed you. NO MORE".

 

You're headed down this same path. Don't allow him to do that to you. People here post from experience, I thought I was "different", no I was not. Listen to the advice that anything less than "I love you, I made the biggest mistake ever leaving you, I want you back" is all breadcrumbs, just stringing you along, and breadcrumbs also come in huge ginormous sizes. Don't be fooled.

[River Rain]

Exactly this right here, he's stringing you along. He cared enough about you to leave you, that is your first clue. He is contacting you/talking to you because he hasn't replaced you yet. He'll keep doing this until he finds what he considers a "better replacement". Take me for example.

 

Ex left me, I went NC on my end but didn't follow it to the fullest extent (just like you), every time she contacted me I responded. Every week (last 3 weeks) she would say "I miss you", "I want to see you" yada f*ucking yada. The last time was monday, I've written this before but I'll share again.

 

She called/texted/missed me/had to see me. She came over, we talked/hugged/slept together. 3 hours after leaving my house the next day I get a text "I'm sorry, I found what I am looking for. I should have never slept with you, I missed you. NO MORE".

 

You're headed down this same path. Don't allow him to do that to you. People here post from experience, I thought I was "different", no I was not. Listen to the advice that anything less than "I love you, I made the biggest mistake ever leaving you, I want you back" is all breadcrumbs, just stringing you along, and breadcrumbs also come in huge ginormous sizes. Don't be fooled.

 

That's terrible...I'm sorry you went through that, NavyAirTraffic. We get such false hope and then get totally let down...

 

But yeah, to the OP, learn from our mistakes I guess. And remember, some of the times when he missed you the most were when he was drunk.

[NavyAirTraffic]

That's terrible...I'm sorry you went through that, NavyAirTraffic. We get such false hope and then get totally let down...

 

But yeah, to the OP, learn from our mistakes I guess. And remember, some of the times when he missed you the most were when he was drunk.

 

Don't feel sorry for me Riv, I did it to myself!! I visited this website everyday, I read all of the advice from established/knowledgeable members and I chose not to listen, I had all of the tools right here, but I thought I was different.

 

Well lump me in with the general population of people who don't listen, which is the same place WB will go if she doesn't take experienced advice.

[olivec]

First I just want to say a BIG hello! I'm new here so forgive me if I make any of the newbie mistakes!

 

Okay, so as the title says I could do with a little advice, i'll try to keep this short and sweet so you don't fall asleep half-way through.

 

Basically, I came out of a 2 year relationship 2 months ago. He broke up with me as he stated his feelings were changing for me. Now we had a very 'difficult' relationship so to say. We were the best thing and the worst thing to happen to each other and have been through a great deal but we had that 'connection' so to say and we told each other things that we wouldn't even tell our closest family. So yes, we were hopelessly in love for 2 years, had our issues and struggles but managed to always pull through in the end.

 

So yes, it has been 2 months since he broke up with me. We broke up and I decided for once I wasn't going to chase, I was going to let him go and let him be happy. I did just that, we didn't have contact for a month, got rid of social networks etc and I was doing "okay" then a month or so later his friend passed a message on to me from him about something funny and comical, I replied but nothing more came from it. A few days later he sent me a friend request on Facebook, I accepted (thinking he missed me and wants to sort things out), I message him a nice brief hello, hope all is well message - No reply. Turns out he accidently added me. I forget it, and carry on trying to be strong, I then make contact with him in regards to exchanging things (in hopes of bringing that closure for myself), no reply. Finally, we exchange stuff through a mutual friend.

 

Now, about 2 weeks ago we bump into each other in a club, both drunk which means things never end well. We got talking, tears flowed from both of us, saying how hard things have been, how we love each other and how much we care for each other. We kiss a few times until I tell him he should go. He then texts me saying we should meet tomorrow, I agree. Tomorrow comes, hangover hits and he cancels stating it is too difficult to see me and too soon. I do not respond.

 

I carry on trying to be strong, hoping he will finally man up and come and swoop me off my feet. I get a phone call from him around midnight. I answer this call (Stupidly) and there is silence and just someone talking in the background (Alarm bells go off and I go into psycho "He's found someone new" mode), phone goes dead. I call back asking why he called. Apparently another accident, he said sorry didn't mean to and hung up, then got a text straight after saying sorry. He was clearly drunk. I reply stating he should delete my number as I don't want calls like that, tell him to take care and enjoy the night. No reply, no explanation, nothing.

 

So today I come to you for advice. What should I possibly do? He seems to be over me, constantly informing the world how happy he is now, but yet I try to do the same, move on but things like this happen. Should I carry on and take this as a sign deep down he wants to be with me or should I see this as he is messing with my head?

 

 

Honestly, I have no idea what to think, ANY advice would be GREAT! I attempted to keep it short and sweet but I guess I kind of failed!

 

God bless anyone who managed to read the whole thing! Haha!

 

My ex gf did the same **** to me. Text me saying she missed me then i think theres a chance for it to work. did that to me a few times until the last message and i sent her one last message telling her its over and did not want her anymore and told what i want in a relationship and its done for good. I havent heard from her in over a year now. Bottom it took me awhile to get my feeling in check but once i finally did i realized someone like that is never gunna change and best that i figured it out and learned from it. Hopefully now you realize that your ex is no good for you and you cant even be civil with him because as you see it does you no good and only hurts you. You need someone whos gunna be a part of your life who respects you always. This guy doesn't respect you and you gotta let him go for good and stick with No contact.