Necris Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 What I'm wondering is why do girls that I'm interested in have to fake interest instead of just telling me right there they aren't interested? Like this one girl I was interested in I talked to her and she at the time seemed interested in maybe having a possible date as she said we should meet again sometime and seemed to like talking to me, but when I actually tried to take her up on her offer she always had an excuse, maybe she's trying not to hurt my feelings but I'm pretty used to being rejected since that is what happens to me literally 100% of the time I try to talk to a girl. The worst case of faking interest was this time where I scheduled a date with a girl only to find out it was joke. I'd just like girls to be honest and just flat out tell me the truth sure it may sting a little but its alot less annoying.
kae Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Guys do the same thing. I feel like they are indeed interested but you come off as too easy or flawed and your out with some people. These persons live in fantasy land and like games. they are immature and cant appreciate how they have impacted another human being and yes it is special and should be handled with consideration and grace. human beings not disney cartoons or immortal beings from the heavens. We are human flawed and sensitive.. People wake the bleep up! t.v is ruining us. making us shallow and rude. 1
Author Necris Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 To keep your attention around, she may not want you but she can never have enough attention. I guess, but that still is annoying, why waste both our time if you know you don't want me? Just tell me how you truly feel so we can move on.
Nightsky Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Girls fake interest for a number of reasons. But here is my guess on the biggest. They generally don't like to flat out reject a guy because of the guys who will lash out when rejected. You know call them a bad word or worse. Many girls are really afraid of that kind of thing happening and have fragile feelings for men being mean. Now guys on the other hand usually fake interest to use and abuse girls. Thing is a lot of girls really seem to enjoy that kind of thing. Something to think about! 1
irc333 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 In my experience, they do it to keep a guy around, to keep giving them attention. Happens to me a lot. It really starts off with me asking them out, I get the blow off, BUT....they call me routinely to talk on the phone, but never actually getting together with me in person. AND YES, these are women I have met in real life, but they wind up being my Facebook pen pal/phone buddy...nothing more.
zanesfan Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I go through this a lot. Especially with online dating. A guy will send me a message. I know instantly Im not attracted to him but I send him a message back thinking that I should try something new and give this guy a chance. But after the first message, I realize Im not attracted to him and now I have to do some damage control. I hate telling them that Im not interested for whatever reason... like who wants to be the bad guy? Im not trying to hurt anyone's feelings most importantly. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Girls and women are socialized to "please" and not to "rock the boat". We see our mothers catering to everyone else's needs, we play with babydolls and play house where we pretend to cook for other people, we see our mothers cook for our fathers and do their laundry. Well, at least I know I did and I am sure some other ladies did too. Although I am sure there are ladies here that Fathers' did those things too. But usually women make big sacrifices for their families. They usually work and do a majority of the household clean-up. They sacrifice their bodies for babies. So a lot of girls don't like to displease other people and won't speak up. They won't flat out tell a guy they aren't intersted because they don't want to hurt his feelings or deny him something he may want or need. It took me a LONG time to ask for what I wanted even in relationships. I am still working on it. I didn't want to upset my previous boyfriends or seem like too much trouble so I would just go along with things even though I didn't really like them. This was especially true in the bedroom. And since I got a lot of compliments for this, for what my former boyfriends perceived as my "adventurous side", the compliments and approvel at the time meant more to me than my own happiness. Unfortunetly, I think a lot of younger women have a similiar process. Where they rather have affirmination than really figure out what pleases them and asking for it. Ultimately, I wasn't getting what I needed in the relationship and there was way too much pressure from a lot of men to conform to ideals they wanted rather than encourage awoman to be who she is. I don't think a lot of guys even realize how they do it or even do it on purpose. But unfortunetly, they do. Such as guys that say things like, "I just want my partner to ack more like a pornstar". They are more excited by a woman being more of his fantasy than a woman just being who she is. Usually boys are encouraged to be competitive and go out for what they want. Girls are often told to "play nice" and be sweet and share and think of others.
Author Necris Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 [whoops wrong thread please delete this someone]
yongyong Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I bet she was Just being nice to you. I bet she didn't even tell you 'you are cute', didn't grab your thighs and showed other obvious interest signs. All she did was being courteous by not blowing you away and kept smile on her face. You were all excited thinking 'oh she is into me, I might bang this girl' I bet when you asked her out, she responded like 'I guess we could' with her body language and voice tone. Maybe you should learn how to read women.
threebyfate Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 It's a drama avoidance technique like "the fade". 1
Author Necris Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 I bet she was Just being nice to you. I bet she didn't even tell you 'you are cute', didn't grab your thighs and showed other obvious interest signs. All she did was being courteous by not blowing you away and kept smile on her face. You were all excited thinking 'oh she is into me, I might bang this girl' I bet when you asked her out, she responded like 'I guess we could' with her body language and voice tone. Maybe you should learn how to read women. Okay you are right, she never did show me any of those obvious interest signs in fact no girl in my entire existence has ever showed me those kind of signs that I can remember, so I guess when a girl acts nice to me I always misinterpret what they are doing as I take that as a sign of interest. As for learning how to read people that is extremely difficult. So maybe I'm in the wrong here.
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