ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I have been talking to my therapist about this a lot because my ex and I broke up in early Aug. It wasn't even a break up, more of a he dumped me, he just cut me off like no calls no answers no texts nothing I still have no explanation. I seriously miss him so so much, like I think about him all the time, I unfollowed him on Twitter but he still follows me and I literally check his page almost every day to see who he is talking to. I miss him like beyond belief, I have never ever been so hurt by someone. I thought I was over it and I started talking to this new guy (who I have posted about) but he pretty much said he and I "didn't click" and dumped me last night. I was kind of sad about it but I am not necessarily sad over him but more of I'm sad to be dumped again, I'm sad to be alone again etc etc.. I just want to be over my ex, I want to not care about him or what/who he is doing. It makes me so sad because I cared about him more than anything and he just left me, I would honestly give anything to be back with him, it was a really short relationship (like a month and a half) but it was so intense and I just miss him. I miss spending the night at his house and him waking up and kissing my arms or kissing my forehead or me laying on his chest. We didn't even have to talk to each other we could just look at eachother and know what was up. I feel like I will never meet someone like him again and feel like that. I know I am going to give dating a rest but it just makes me sad because he was the whole package almost everything about him was perfection and I don't have that. He is out sharing his perfection with lots of other girls. I really really really wish that one day he just takes me back. I don't even know what I did wrong to make him leave me. I thought I would be with him, he used to make jokes about us having babies or getting married and stuff I miss that times a million. It has been 2 and a half months which is longer than we even dated and I'm still not over it. I was in my car listening to Celine Dion and started crying last week.. it was unreal. I just want it to end.
Mint Sauce Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 If you were only dating 1.5 months, isn't it possible that rather than grieving about losing HIM, you're grieving about all the lost prospects? Is the sadness really about him, or about the life with A man that was unfolding itself? It's hard to imagine for me that you became so deeply attached in such a short period of time that it would take longer than the actual relationship to get over that attachment. It sounds like you're really longing to be in a relationship with someone, and of course a little worried that your ex was THE one. I also suffer from the loss of the prospects, especially when all my friends have their young families already, but I think it's important to distinguish that from the person we're still pining over. For me the careful dating actually helps, but I'm nowhere near a stage where I can be dumped again. I just entertain some conversations with a few women on OLD sites, and some of them actually appear more interesting, kind, and pretty than my ex. And some of them seem interested in me. At this point, that's enough for me to at least be confident that when the time is right, I will find someone with whom I can start my own family. And for now, I'll just find my peace on my own, without the complexity of a new relationship, until I'm fully healed (6 years attachment...). hope this helps 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 I think it is partially that, but I just miss everything about him. I've been out with other guys since he dumped me and its just like no guy can compare to him. I can't do the whole online dating thing again its always the same guys and I'm just tired of it. I just want him to take me back
chrisusarmy2005 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I am in the same exact spot as you with my ex. My ex and I were together for 4 yrs and she broke my heart, I was planning on proposing to her this year. Thats what hurts the most, now shes dating some 42 yr old man and I just miss her. I love her with all my heart, I do hate being single its the crappiest feeling. She is amazing and she was everything I was looking for. We broke up 8 mos ago and I know you can't just throw 4 yrs away. I want her back and I will fight for her if I have to. Noone will love her as much as I love her. I can't stand it. Im moving back home which sucks even more, but shes driving me nuts with this guy. Im trying to push through it but its really hard. Somehow,someway we need to get through this. hugs from me 1
Squidoo Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 From my first break up it was around the 6 month mark, I just woke up one morning and thought yeah I just feel indifferent now. We were together over 7 years and had a child together, I started dating again 10 months after the split. This lead to being with the current ex which ended 4 months ago, to be honest even though I was the dumper I'm not over it completely but I met a nice guy a month or so ago and have been seeing him ever since
hearttopieces Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I have been NC for 4 months, still hurts like when we stopped talking to each other. The worst thing is that I have tried and pushed myself to go out, even had a date a few weeks ago which was a bad idea because it made me miss him even more. I try to work out regularly, but still I have put on some weight in the last 4 months. I will be going on a holiday soon that I did not plan, and maybe it is not a good idea to go financially, but I am really just trying to do something, because I keep thinking about him all the time. Don't know if this will ever end.
Squidoo Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I have been NC for 4 months, still hurts like when we stopped talking to each other. The worst thing is that I have tried and pushed myself to go out, even had a date a few weeks ago which was a bad idea because it made me miss him even more. I try to work out regularly, but still I have put on some weight in the last 4 months. I will be going on a holiday soon that I did not plan, and maybe it is not a good idea to go financially, but I am really just trying to do something, because I keep thinking about him all the time. Don't know if this will ever end. It will end,you will get over it. It happens when you stop trying so hard, just kick back and concentrate on yourself.
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