devyna Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 I had all my life been lead to believe that I would never find love. I have been a large individual since I was like 7, and have been subject to ridicule ever since. Up until 4 years ago I thought I would never find love. Then he came into my life, swept me off of my feet and showed me what love was supposed to be. I fell fast and hard, looking beyond his many faults and loving him completely. We had been together for 3 years when he decided, since we had hit a rocky point in our relationship, he wanted to try reconciling with one of his ex GF's. My world came apart right then and there. He had lead me to believe he loved me and as soon as he had a way out into another woman's arms he took it. Well, he ended up breaking up with her as well, because she played his game on him. He then got together with someone else who he realized a little too late was not right for him. At this point he and I had decided to move in with each other as room mates to make living easier on both of us. All the time we were having sex...so it was more of a friendship with benefits. Well, after his second breakup my cousin made the suggestion that we talk with each other seriously about getting back together. So, we did. Life was good again. Then after 6 months he was contacted by another one of his ex's and ended it with me for her yet again. (another rocky point) At this point I feel completely worthless. Worse than I did before I got with him. Before I felt like no one could love me, now I feel as if the only thing I'm good for is an in between for sex and stability. I invested a lot of time, energy and money into our relationship, and he can just throw it away like a banana peel? I can't seem to get over him. I am 28 years old and have had one real boy friend. I feel as if no one could love me and even worse now that I have tasted what I thought love to be. I feel so very used, but I can't stop loving him. Does it get any easier? What can I do to make the hurt go away? I am so tired of crying over him...especially since he doesn't care about me.
TommyGirl Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Hold your head up. I know exactly how you feel. You are going to have to pull yourself away from him, especiall sexually. You will definitely find someone who will treat you much better. If God brought you to it, he will definitely bring you through it. Be prayerful and keep God first.
dub03 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Well I don't think bashing his head in with a sledge is going to solve your problems, but I do think that you need to be done with this guy forever. I know its not what you want to hear, but his actions clearly indicate that he doesn't care at all about you, so why should you care about him? I know easier said then done. This was also your first boyfriend and first love. The first is almost ALWAYS the hardest. You have never experienced pain like this before, and you don't know how to cope with it. Most likely you will break up with someone again, and it does get easier after you go through it once, but its still not a cake walk. The key is to be able to stay strong and get through the labyrnith of being single. The right person is out there for you and its not him, just don't give up!
manofmystrey Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 hey devyna Dont let one bad experience get u down. first of all we are all beautiful and never feel about urself and how u look. Second of all if this clown cant excpet u for u he never loved u. I am sorry. True love does not see money, color, sex, size or anything else. Love is blind and it only senses the heart that it attracts. It will hurt cause one can never let their true love go ever, I know. The only thing u can do is find some good friends u can spend time with who will take u to new places and do things that u have never done that is the key thing. If u have never been to a ball game do that or skiing or skating or anything else u have never tried before cause that way u will be too busy learning something new rather then thinking about what this guy has done to u. U want my opinion and thats all it is but if he comes back to u dont take him back cause he will never change his ways and u will be the one that gets hurt. So get some friends together and do something new. Hope that helps
KaiaMahina Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 The little angry face is not for you, sweetheart. It's for the jerk who has hurt you so badly. Anyone who can express herself so clearly, and is so aware of her own emotions and issues, is far from worthless! How this man -- well, actually, the title of "man" is a compliment he hasn't earned -- how this boy has behaved toward you has nothing to do with your essential self. Because he can't see it, and can't appreciate it. It's still an intact treasure in your safekeeping, to give to another who deserves it. If anything good has come from this, you now know what it is to love and be loved. Or at least to be loved as much as he was able to love you, or anyone for that matter. You're going through what a lot of people go through when they're 16 or 17 and have their first relationship. This won't be your last. You know what you want to experience in this life...you want passion, love, intimacy...and you have some experience in being in a relationship. In fact, you did a crash course! You've been through the toils on this one. Don't let it break you; let it make you stronger. There's a whole world out there of men who are looking for an intelligent, articulate, loving, and loveable woman. This person was only in your life to get you started, to give you that taste of love to motivate you to start seeking it for yourself, on your terms. I was cut loose by my fiance 6 weeks ago, and I know how it feels to lose something that was like the breath of life to you. And I know how it feels to believe with all my heart that I'll never love or be loved again. But I will. And so will you. Good thoughts and best wishes to you...please do something nice for yourself this weekend. I am a former Michigan girl, so I know Port Huron. Go to a pretty place on the lake and have a quiet time or cry if you feel like it. Know that I'll be doing the same thing here on the Atlantic ocean This feeling won't last forever...I know, because I've done all this before.
Dizzy Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Devyna, I have gone through the same scenario so many times. I have broken up with this one guy and gotten back together with him and he always ends up breaking things off. I used to think I kept taking him back because I loved him but I realized I didn't love him as much as I didn't want to be alone. I'm not saying your situation is the same but it's possible. If you keep letting him do this to you then you're never going to heal. Everytime my guy would call me and tell me that things were going to be different this time around. I finally got fed up with all the crap this guy was putting me through and stopped talking to him completely. It was hard at first but then after a few months I didn't miss him as much. I realized he wasn't worth missing after the way he treated me. The fact that this guy has done this to you numerous times shows that he's not really serious about being in a long term relationship with you. Do whatever you can to get over him. Get a hobby, surround yourself with family members and friends, burn his pictures (I did and it felt great) etc...I even moved out to California where my brother lives. I used to live in Washington and it was nice having that distance between us. That way I know I won't be tempted to see what he's up to. It felt great having him out of my life. I think it's better for me to be alone than be with a person who is ruining me. Best of luck
Author devyna Posted July 31, 2004 Author Posted July 31, 2004 Thank you all for your kind words. It really does make me feel better to know there are so many good people out there. I have a feeling the hardest part is going to be letting go, but with encouragement like his, that shouldn't be as hard as without. I still miss him...always will, I think...but I'm going to start getting back into a few hobbies of mine and see what I can do about trying to forget about him. The last two times he broke up with me I knew he would come back to me, and I could handle it a little better because I wanted him back. This time, with everything he has done to me and all the lies he's spreading about me I don't want him back. I still know he will try to get me back, but this time I know for sure what he's all about and I hope I can be strong enough to tell him to go play in the freeway. Again, thanx for all the advice.
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