Hey505 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Me and my ex broke up 4 months ago after a 2 year relationship and she jumped right into a new relationship which she was being intimate in and she denied for many months and just said that they were "friends"... Everyone knew they were involved with each other and it turns out, They were. she LIED to my face about it so many times. Last month she made it perfectly clear they were a couple. She seems happy and whatnot but i KNOW I'm a better person than her new guy... I always thought she was "good girl" But this new guy smokes (she always told me she HATED smokers), parties all the time and to be honest is kinda ugly. Everyone says that I'm more attractive than this guy (i know that looks aren't everything, but it helps The only positive thing i can see that he is that i wasn't is that he is VERY sociable with everyone and i never used to enjoy going out or anything. I regret it now because now i don't have her i don't have any friends either as all my friends were her friends and the last thing i want to do now is go out. All i want to do is sit in all day and that's what i do but then i get depressed about not having friends. (My fault i know but it's not easy to make friends out of nowhere :/) Anyway during these 4 months of breaking up i think the longest we've not contacted each other is 4 days and 4 days ago i text her saying I'm really depressed (she knows I'm going through a tough time with my family) and she said that she's here for me. A day later she admitted she was upset, lonely and would love a cuddle from ME right now. I told her I'm always there for her and everything but isn't that what her new boy is for? Anyway today she was being really harsh with me by trying to hurt my feelings and said to me to leave her alone. I asked if she was sure and she was very blunt about it and just said "Yes." because I'm upsetting her somehow. So I've decided this is where the real NC starts. And and also, she met this new boy at the place we we BOTH work. So i dread going to work now because i see them both together and it kills me. She convinces herself that I've been taking drugs and sleeping with random girls with a bunch on STD's when I'm really not that sort of person. I loved her with a passion and still don't think twice of sleeping with anyone else. It's like she WANTS me to be this bad person? I'm not going to lie our relationship wasn't perfect and i didn't treat her right but losing her made me realise how good she was to me and i honestly can't see myself finding anyone else. She was so happy with me but they ditched me for someone else. Oh did i mention, it was 2 days before we were due to go on holiday together that she dumped me? Yeah, work that out... Anyway guys this is killing me, i still love her with all my heart even though all this pain she's put me through. Do you think NC will work? If you need anymore info, let me know. (There's a lot of it) 1
a.b Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 You need to sort yourself out first. You need to develop your social skills and make friends, which I know is very difficult! You must have some friends, even if they are not close ones. Start by building your confidence up going out and meeting new people, don't expect things to happen instantly but this would be a good start. I'm not sure you should contact her anymore, let her do the chasing as they say. Think about what you want, write it down and think of small ways to achieve these (not relationship stuff for now). Baby steps as they say. That's my take anyway.... 1
Author Hey505 Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 It's just so hard. Tonight they're going to my "friends" gig together and they'll probably go back to hers after and sleep in the bed we used to share while i sit in, on a Saturday night. This is absolute torture and i honestly don't know what to do. Going to the gig as well will make me want to die but not going makes me feel so alone. No one cares if i go or not, if i do I'll just be left out..
a.b Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Maybe join some sort of club or something? Take up something like karate, builds up self esteem and confidence as well as meeting new people? 1
olivec Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 It's just so hard. Tonight they're going to my "friends" gig together and they'll probably go back to hers after and sleep in the bed we used to share while i sit in, on a Saturday night. This is absolute torture and i honestly don't know what to do. Going to the gig as well will make me want to die but not going makes me feel so alone. No one cares if i go or not, if i do I'll just be left out.. Hey man i know what your going through weve all been there. Which is why you have to go no contact with her and start to get your own life back and do things you enjoy. That means getting out more and hanging with people who care about you. This girl is only using you as the fall back guy that will probably never happen. You dont need a person like that in your life man. 1
Author Hey505 Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 I know that's what i need to do but doing it is really hard. Today we had work and she kept talking to me and it's so hard to not be friendly back. The only reason she was talking to me was because he wasn't around. If he was she wouldn't even look at me, act like I'm the plague and stay away from me. She text me after work and asked me if i was going to the gig, i said "why" and she said "because if you go, i won't" So i replied with "They'd appreciate you there more than me anyway, go have some fun for me." Thinking about it i should've told her i had other plans... Make her wonder what I'm doing a little bit. Is that a good idea? Remember guys, the goal is here to get her back... Even if she has killed me. I still love her and want what we had back. I still think she has feelings for me but i need to stop getting my hopes up.
abhi.5 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 is it really possible to get your ex back even though u do not think its possible any how ?. everyone out there is trying to rob me with some books or texts..and everyone seem to be focussing on no contact which i can do only for 12 hrs...number one if its possible than how i can do it ? 2. how to stick to no contact 3 if your ex calls you in every 2 days are you supposed to talk to her. because when i do i feel like wanting for more and when i try doin that she blow me off. confused !!
Author Hey505 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 I'm not sure if anyone is paying attention to me anymore but i need to get this out and want to get a thought on it. Today we had work again and she told me for the first time that her and this boy were together as couple and decided on it last night. She said they decided to wait until i was "over" her before they told me. I replied with "I've known all along you were going to get together, I'm not surprised" and acted like i didn't care at all. She then got annoyed with me because she found out last night that I've been talking to a girl that liked me when we were together, she said i looked desperate and she is telling people i cheated on her. I NEVER cheated on her and she doesn't believe me when i tell her, it's so weird but she's trying to convince herself that i did... Anyway i caught her staring at me ALL day so many times today and every time she was looking at me, i tried to look really happy and not bothered and that seemed to annoy her a bit i think. After work i bumped into her with her new boy when they were on there way back to hers, that killed me. Why was she staring at me, ALL day? She also tried talking to me a couple of times. It doesn't make sense... I still can't believe she left me for THIS boy, he's a nice person but i never thought I'd see her with someone like that
olivec Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 I'm not sure if anyone is paying attention to me anymore but i need to get this out and want to get a thought on it. Today we had work again and she told me for the first time that her and this boy were together as couple and decided on it last night. She said they decided to wait until i was "over" her before they told me. I replied with "I've known all along you were going to get together, I'm not surprised" and acted like i didn't care at all. She then got annoyed with me because she found out last night that I've been talking to a girl that liked me when we were together, she said i looked desperate and she is telling people i cheated on her. I NEVER cheated on her and she doesn't believe me when i tell her, it's so weird but she's trying to convince herself that i did... Anyway i caught her staring at me ALL day so many times today and every time she was looking at me, i tried to look really happy and not bothered and that seemed to annoy her a bit i think. After work i bumped into her with her new boy when they were on there way back to hers, that killed me. Why was she staring at me, ALL day? She also tried talking to me a couple of times. It doesn't make sense... I still can't believe she left me for THIS boy, he's a nice person but i never thought I'd see her with someone like that I'm gunna be blunt with you brotha. FORGET THAT BITCH! SHES NO GOOD! If you continue to let her bother you and its only gunna be harder to get over her. She made up her mind she wants that douch bag. I say let her go because she'll screw it up with him like she did you trust me. Then she'll try getting you back. However this time you tell her no right from the beggining. You deserve better man. Dont settle for her bul**** anymore. Move on with your life. Listen my last girlfriend did the same **** to me still talijing to me but i knew damn well she was talking to other guys. The last time she contacted me i gave her a final decision to make. Either we get back togerther all the way or i was done. She never contacted me again its been a year this month. So you see you cant be all nice to them then they think they can still have ya as a fall back. I also recently dated this girl for like a month. Things were good until a few weeks ago until she stopped contacting me i let it go a few days then i contact her ask her whats going on. She said "oh your a great guy but i think were just on a friend level". wtf is a friend level. I told her fine i'm not begging for you and i deleated the number. I refuse to be a fall back guy or whatever. Its garbage. Bottom line forget you even know her man. You dont owe her anything.
abhi.5 Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 i want her back but she don't seem to be interested in getting back...worst part is her life seems to be easy and normal and i fell like dying....today i am starting NC which i do not think i can keep up...any suggestions
a.b Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 i want her back but she don't seem to be interested in getting back...worst part is her life seems to be easy and normal and i fell like dying....today i am starting NC which i do not think i can keep up...any suggestions Been there my friend! Gotta keep yourself busy, delete them from your life. Facebook, phone, gifts, photos etc bye bye. They no longer exist. Easier said then done yes. You may have setbacks but trust me in the long run you will be laughing. No point dwelling on someone who is over you already is there? I know this cause my situation is identical, she was already considering being with the guy she cheated on me with a few days after breakng up with me. Probably even sooner then that if i'm honest with my self. Bottom line is, if she doesn't want to be with you then you deserve to find someone who does. Keep fighting and when you have weak moments come on here and talk to people, or your friends what ever. Just don't contact her.
a.b Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 i want her back but she don't seem to be interested in getting back...worst part is her life seems to be easy and normal and i fell like dying....today i am starting NC which i do not think i can keep up...any suggestions Been there my friend! Gotta keep yourself busy, delete them from your life. Facebook, phone, gifts, photos etc bye bye. They no longer exist. Easier said then done yes. You may have setbacks but trust me in the long run you will be laughing. No point dwelling on someone who is over you already is there? I know this cause my situation is identical, she was already considering being with the guy she cheated on me with a few days after breaking up with me. Probably even sooner then that if i'm honest with my self. Bottom line is, if she doesn't want to be with you then you deserve to find someone who does. Keep fighting and when you have weak moments come on here and talk to people here or you friends what ever. Just don't contact her. I know it's a cliche but it does get easier with time. Heart break is a necessity of life I'm afraid. 2
taya Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) i agree with everone start doing you and stop worring about this girl think about it is she worring about YOU???? and even if their relationship dont work do you really want her back i think if she comes back to you she will leave you for someone eles again palying you like a FOOL plz let her go you say it your self YOUR A attractive GUY so go out and find miss right the one that will never leave you for another man:cool: always remeber THIS we teach people how to treat us take her back and i guarantee she will do it again ...i think this post should be HOW TO GER OVER HER Edited October 21, 2012 by taya 1
Sugarkane Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 Sounds like she's trying to paint you black. That you've been partying and sleeping around. Sounds like she's projecting her guilt or whatever onto you. Don't listen to her! Bowwood she know what you've been doing? You're broken up! NC!
abhi.5 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 @ A.B i know all these but my point is its really difficult. i want to get over her or get back to her...whichever it is, i want it to be quick. my problem right now is i am not working right now & will not be for next 15 days, which makes the situation against me. Most of my friends are busy with their life so i can't turn to them. although i have deleted her number but that doesn't help as i know it by heart. Well its 12 hrs of no contact..most of which i was sleeping....i guess real test begins now. in last 2 years there wasn't a single day when we didn't talk but i guess in last 2 years we didn't broke up as well.
a.b Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Before you can do anything you need to decide what you want. We can give you every advice under the sun but until you decide what you want no one can help. Do you want to get over her or get back with her? Getting over I'm afraid there is no quick fix, and requires time and effort. Getting back is a whole different kettle of fish, and one I wouldn't be able to help you with as I have never tried to do so.
Author Hey505 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Hey guys well as you know she got with the other boy, she text me on Monday asking how i could cheat on her while i was with her. Funny isn't it? I never once cheated on her, she has no proof and she LEFT me for someone else. How dare she say that... Anyway i told her i never cheated on her, and i wished her and her new man happiness. That was 4-5 days ago and since then she's tried texting me 3 times and calling once. Last night she called me again at just gone midnight, this is very strange and i don't know if i should text her and ask if she's ok or what? Why would she call me that late? :/
Chi townD Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Hey guys well as you know she got with the other boy, she text me on Monday asking how i could cheat on her while i was with her. Funny isn't it? I never once cheated on her, she has no proof and she LEFT me for someone else. How dare she say that... Anyway i told her i never cheated on her, and i wished her and her new man happiness. That was 4-5 days ago and since then she's tried texting me 3 times and calling once. Last night she called me again at just gone midnight, this is very strange and i don't know if i should text her and ask if she's ok or what? Why would she call me that late? :/ She's trying to demonize you. Make you the bad guy so she can ease her own guilt about what she did to you. " Well, if he didn't cheat, I wouldn't be with this other guy." or "If he wasn't doing drugs, I would still be with him." She has to justify her actions by convincing herself that the demise the realtionship was your fault and the other guy was a shoulder to lean on and....things just....happened.....uh huh, sure. You two sound really young, because her behavior is soooo immature. I would just move on. If I were you, I would look for another job. She'll probably freak and ask why you're leaving, just say, " I got a better job offer and it's probably best for all parties that I just move on." Go NC. don't contact her. Move on. Heal. Block her from all social media and get a new job. Start enjoying life.
taya Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Hey guys well as you know she got with the other boy, she text me on Monday asking how i could cheat on her while i was with her. Funny isn't it? I never once cheated on her, she has no proof and she LEFT me for someone else. How dare she say that... Anyway i told her i never cheated on her, and i wished her and her new man happiness. That was 4-5 days ago and since then she's tried texting me 3 times and calling once. Last night she called me again at just gone midnight, this is very strange and i don't know if i should text her and ask if she's ok or what? Why would she call me that late? :/ am sorry to say this girl is playing you, you keep texting her when she text you stuff you will get pull back in her wed .she ,moved on with another man let her go if somthing was wrong with her do you think she would text you and not her new boyfriend????? just think about it and she knows you dident cheat on her lol she is playin you like a fool lol by her texting you that you know what you did you respond to her text and guess what thats what she wanted ...
sameer1988 Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 same story here bro.i have done the same mistake as u.its very difficult to cope up.we brokeup 2 months ago.she still talk to me.we meet daily and go to dinner but i know she is with someone else now.i have tried so many time to apply nc but it didnt worked out.i cant restrain myself.even she said that she will never come back but she still talks to me.she kisses me many times and and we had sex 4-5 times after the breakup also.she has moved on.i also want the same now.
Author Hey505 Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 Well guys, i messed up, big time. And I'm going to rant about it because it makes me feel better (: I was doing so good with the NC. Was going on 6 days today (which was hard considering she text me 3 times and called me twice, i HATED ignoring her) but this morning i was out sitting on this hill (where we sat and watched fireworks together every year) at 3AM and the view from there is incredible at night... Anyway i was so upset and alone and i text her saying "The view from here would be so much better with you by my side" they are lyrics from a song from our favourite band that we went to see on our first valentines day together... cheesy i know, she probably doesn't even know what I'm talking about. Anyway today is my birthday and she put a card through my door this morning wishing me a happy birthday, the funny thing is... it wasn't her handwriting and it was from all of her family. It probably wasn't even her idea. I text her this morning saying sorry for the text and i sent to her I'm very grateful for the card, i doubt she will even reply. Like i said today is my birthday and I'm ill... all i want is for her to ring/text me saying happy birthday, but the chances of that are so low. I was being so strong but messed it up and hate myself for it! Also my sister see her and her new boy having a meal together with her family the other night... I don't think I've ever felt so low in my life. I just want to stop feeling. This is so hard.
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