silicone Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 It's something I've been asking myself for a while. I'm thinking yes, but I can't even form positive conditions for it. I don't drink or do anything which would lower my inhibitions, but I'm an adventurous person who likes to have fun, though I can be quite geeky sometimes. I don't usually go to parties but I can go to social gatherings etc. I am by no means socially awkward, but I certainly demand respect from my peers, and it shows through the way I talk and my manner of execution. I've been in an LDR for nearly a year, been away from the country, met loads of people of the other sex, some attractive, some not; some with a connection, but a lot more without: I just don't feel any attraction to anyone. I went to a club and had guys hitting on me, but there was nothing there, in fact, the only thing I wanted was to be with my lover. I think it's safe to say that I've had multiple opportunities to cheat, but it just hasn't or possibly will not happen. I go through a very thorough and methodical practice in doing things, it will take a very long time for me to become attracted to someone, but I always take the moral high ground - I'm known for my absolutely and relative integrity. That's not to say that I have not faultered before. A reliable connection is an absolute prerequisite for anything to happen - to me, sexual contact is very intimate, between two lovers. Maybe it's my definition of my processes that I go through which is making things apparently easy to remain faithful - regardless of LDR and my high sex drive. Regardless of the lackings my relationship is giving me, both emotionally and physically, I have absolutely no desire to look at someone in the same way as I do towards my lover. What are my conditions for me to cheat? Have I not met them yet?
MrVegas Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Is there any particular reason you want to find out? The fact that you find no reason or desire to cheat is a good thing, and you should be proud of your strong moral standing. Though there are often many reasons people cheat, it is usually a cowardly or reckless decision.
Author silicone Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Is there any particular reason you want to find out? The fact that you find no reason or desire to cheat is a good thing, and you should be proud of your strong moral standing. Though there are often many reasons people cheat, it is usually a cowardly or reckless decision. Well I'd like to know of my limits, so I can fully prepare for things, or even shut things down before they interrupt things. I should note that this year, I don't feel like I've received much emotional attention, i.e my sexual and emotional needs have been unfulfilled, but I still have no desire to cheat.
Chi townD Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Well, sometimes when you push those limits, you usually get burned pretty bad. Question you have to ask yourself. If you value someone that you meet at a club and you know damn well their intention is to hit it and quit it or your boyfriends love. It sounds like you're setting yourself up for people to get hurt. Question is, how bad the pain is going to be?
Author silicone Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 Well, sometimes when you push those limits, you usually get burned pretty bad. Question you have to ask yourself. If you value someone that you meet at a club and you know damn well their intention is to hit it and quit it or your boyfriends love. It sounds like you're setting yourself up for people to get hurt. Question is, how bad the pain is going to be? I'm definitely not trying to push my limits, I just want to be aware of them.
Chi townD Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I guess my question is, why do you even want to tempt it? Why do you want to play with fire. If you want to play, then I strongly suggest that you end it with the LDR boyfriend. It would be the right thing to do. You're asking for trouble and entering a very gray area of what is acceptable and what isn't. It really isn't about what's right or wrong FOR YOU! What you think is acceptable behavior and what you feel isn't crossing a line may be WAY DIFFERENT than what your boyfriend would view it as.
Author silicone Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 I guess my question is, why do you even want to tempt it? Why do you want to play with fire. If you want to play, then I strongly suggest that you end it with the LDR boyfriend. It would be the right thing to do. You're asking for trouble and entering a very gray area of what is acceptable and what isn't. It really isn't about what's right or wrong FOR YOU! What you think is acceptable behavior and what you feel isn't crossing a line may be WAY DIFFERENT than what your boyfriend would view it as. Again, I don't want to tempt it, but for my own peace of mind, I like to know what my limits are so I can identify warning signs. I definitely don't want to play - why do you think that? I just want to know where my limits lie. As far as I'm concerned, I haven't displayed any questionable behaviour towards my girlfriend. FYI, my standards of behaviour are very different from society's, there aren't many in my position, financially or otherwise.
MrVegas Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I agree with Chi TownD What the limit is and what is or isn't cheating can be unclear at the time. For many things, we do not know our limits until we cross them, and with this it appears that when you find your limit, it may be less of an "A HA!" moment, and more of a "Oh @#$#@, what have I done" You are doing yourself and your LDR a disservice with this quest.
Author silicone Posted October 22, 2012 Author Posted October 22, 2012 I agree with Chi TownD What the limit is and what is or isn't cheating can be unclear at the time. For many things, we do not know our limits until we cross them, and with this it appears that when you find your limit, it may be less of an "A HA!" moment, and more of a "Oh @#$#@, what have I done" You are doing yourself and your LDR a disservice with this quest. Let me clarify, I'm am not requesting to physically meet or go near the barrier, however, what am I meant to be looking for? How on earth am I to know when I'm straying near that barrier if I can't see it? The last time this came up, was when I misinterpreted what I thought was a friendly conversation, turn into the girl sending me pictures of herself. She was promptly stonewalled at the first nude picture she met me - not that I was expecting it - who sends nude pictures of themselves to a random person on the internet?
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