RachR Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 People lie cause they have reasons why. Not all lies are bad. Sometimes, I lie to protect people. But so what? That's what I'm getting at. Thing is, this lie he told you was an action of disrespect and what he's doing is some form of image management. He isn't lying in some misguided way of trying to protect you. I agree with 2sunny to just tell him you no longer wish to communicate as a way of dumping.
chphan Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Anybody else who has ideas how to handle it? I appreciate all the feedback. Err you don't want feedback. You only want feedback that you like to hear. Everyone pretty much told you right off on what to do but you don't want to hear that. LOL. So you going to keep asking for feedback until you get an answer that you like. You wasting people time with this topic. Just go back to being a clingy person and a doormat to this liar because that's what you really want to do.
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 Err you don't want feedback. You only want feedback that you like to hear. Everyone pretty much told you right off on what to do but you don't want to hear that. LOL. So you going to keep asking for feedback until you get an answer that you like. You wasting people time with this topic. Just go back to being a clingy person and a doormat to this liar because that's what you really want to do. I just don't want to misjudge someone. I haven't confirmed that he lied. I assumed he did. I didn't know what happened between point A to C. I know at point C he was at work.
KraftDinner Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 The facts: - he was supposed to meet you, assuming he knew he'd have to drive to meet you, but yet still drank enough to get a DUI - when he knew he wasn't gonna show up at your place, he didn't bother to call (DUI or not, that's unacceptable) - he's not interested in seeing you at all, otherwise he would, come hell or high water - he doesn't want to see you but won't outright tell you that - he still has a job - just cuz someone's into you at one point in time does not mean he'll stay interested - so it's irrelevant how he seemed to feel in the past Conclusions that aren't that far-fetched: - he's a liar - he's thoughtless - he's irresponsible - he's no longer into you - he's stringing you along in case he decides he wants to see you again (my theory: he's seeing someone else and wants to keep you as a backup plan) - he knows he can throw you the odd bone and treat you like you're disposable and you'll just take it Result: if you stick around, he'll make you miserable, and at this point, knowing all this, you'll get what is coming to you. I'm sorry. WHY do you want this in your life? Go ahead and ignore me like you have all the other posters. 1
tori0001 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I would ask him right out saying did you lie to me? If he did, ask why.
2sunny Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 He may have many lies. Look up on your county or jurisdiction when he was arrest...it may be public information. As it often goes - when folks are arrested late on a Friday - they usually have to wait until Monday morning to get OUT of jail - mainly because the courts are closed on the weekend. So something doesn't add up... May be ANOTHER lie? Who knows? But JUST THE FACT THAT YOU ARE LEFT WONDERING is enough reason to never see him again. You shouldn't have to CHASE a persons truth!
2sunny Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I would ask him right out saying did you lie to me? If he did, ask why. Oh ya - a liar will be honest now? I doubt it... Why bother - he's been a douche. And if he did get a DUI - all the more reason to stay away from him.
tori0001 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 That's a bit harsh. At the very least, talk to him. Just because he got a dui doesn't mean he should never have anything to do with her. People make mistakes.
2sunny Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 That's a bit harsh. At the very least, talk to him. Just because he got a dui doesn't mean he should never have anything to do with her. People make mistakes. A mistake is turning down the wrong street. When a person INTENTIONALLY takes their keys - gets into the drivers seat - and drives their car after drinking - THAT is NO MISTAKE...that's intentional.
tori0001 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I'm more tolerant of it because members of my family have been in trouble for it. This person made a mistake. I bet he feels it. He shouldn't be punished relationship wise for one mistake. MHO.
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 If it was true. He got a DUI on the way to see me.
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 I sent him a text earlier. No reply yet. Let see what he says. He usually replies to my text. Couple guys asked me to hang out tonight. I have not said yes yet but I'm thinking of giving them a chance.
tori0001 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Everyone makes mistakes, it's what you learn from them to not repeat the same mistake again.
tori0001 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I wish you the best of luck in what happens between you and him.
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 I'm not ignoring anyone's advice. I'm taking all the advices in consideration. Thank you so much to everyone who replied. I'm open to more ideas and feedback.
Leigh 87 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I promise you that he is not interested in you. Even worse, is that he does not have enough integrity to tell you that " he is just not feeling it anymore, and we should go out seperate ways, good luck!" If he really wanted to be with you he would. It is literally that simple. The ONLY excuse for men is when they are, say, in medical school OR a doctor or lawyer or a very very busy job with long hours. In that case, they would have reasons to be too busy to see you; but would still make MORE of an effort than that guy has been with you! Even the most busy guys will make time for a girl they truly care about. Forget about him like, 10 seconds ago. Please, the BESt advice, as every one else has been saying, is to FORGET him. Move on. Do not gtext him again. Do not answer his texts. If you ignore his texts he will probably stop bothering with you. Seeing as he does not have strong enough feelings to make an effort.
Leigh 87 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Look, it is harsh when people say: forget about him, he does not care about you, he doesn't like you, etc etc..... It is not that he hates you or dislikes you as a person. I fact, to have gung out with you this much suggests he enjoys your company, and probably does like you; as a person. Not as a romantic prospect or a friend. You can like people without wanting to be their friend or lover/ partner. He is not even treating you like he wants you as a friend. remember: he is not a guy worth your time, because he treats people like crap. You would be MUCH better off with a guy who treats people well.
curlygirl40 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 So much going on here in this thread. I'm going to try to come in with a different angle. None of this matters. Doesn't matter if he got a DUI and if he was on his way to see you. Doesn't matter if he lied about it. Doesn't matter if he lost his job, if he worked in government, if he lied about losing his job. Even if ALL of this went away, what are you left with? A guy who has clearly lost interest in you. I know it hurts. Been there recently myself. BUT that's the bottom line. Is this what you want for yourself? A guy who may or may not be a liar (good excuses or not) and who is obviously not into you? I think not. DO NOT send him any more texts. I know it's hard to let go. But let go with your dignity intact. Just put the phone down and back away and move on. Best of luck
veggirl Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 how would his work even KNOW about his dui by monday morning? unless he was in some sort of wreck that injured/killed people and it was on the front page of the paper. he's full of s.hit..............
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 It's ridiculous the excuses women make for men that they're interested in just because they don't want to walk away, do you even hear your reasoning? your friends seem clueless themselves. The guy has repeatedly lied to you....what more do you need? It's the fact that you can't walk away when you should which is the problem...not why he lied, people lie for many different reasons, but If they lied to you It was to deceive you or avoid telling you the truth. He has no reason to give you any "white lies" to protect you, men don't do that unless they're trying to avoid the truth...most of the time, and some men never do that! so why do you assume that he's just doing that with you without any communication or confirmation? No instead you're chasing him down because you want to find a reason to keep this guy in your life, it's unfortunately pathetic I hate to tell you...that you'd twist, bend and turn to try and meet this guys needs and even go as far as understand him and forgive him when he's given you no reason to himself, It's all in your own head. Because of this I can tell you're the type of girl that will be with men who are liar, and treat you badly...It what you expect for yourself, and you know why? because you'd rather play these games and stick in this world asking why but never finding the reason than to say It Isn't good enough, so why doesn't matter. That fundamental thinking right there is why you will date and these kind of men and you will end up in these types of situation....It's what you tolerate and allow, you're setting the standard and If you really wanted to get to the bottom of this and were a strong person then you'd call the BS out of someone and expect and honest answer or walk away...because you won't tolerate dishonesty, but unless he cuts you off and backs away you're going to keep going on that merry-go-round of "ohhh im so convinced it wasn't sex, he really liked me...so I'm going to pretend all the ***** he does not doesn't stink so that maybe he'll be this wonderful guy after all"....good luck with that, look around you and take a number...you're woman #243555423566546534653663 in line waiting for that from a man who's showing you the truth but you refuse to see it and more importantly accept it. 3
stillafool Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 People lie cause they have reasons why. Not all lies are bad. Sometimes, I lie to protect people. He got a DUI and maybe he got suspended from his job. He said hes been talking to a lawyer maybe he got his job back or maybe he really lied to me. I just assumed that he lied but I want to know why and if he really did. I guess you answered the question to your own thread. You are justifying this guys actions and refuse to hear or don't want to hear the truth. None of this guys excuses matter. If he wanted to be with you he would.
tori0001 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 The only way to really find out is to just ask him. No beating around the bush, just lay it out.
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