Immissme Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Why did he lie to me? Can anyone give me some ideas why. I met this guy about six weeks ago. He seemed to be really into me. We had sex on our third date but its not all about sex. We spent time together with no sex involve. I met his best friend. He invited me to hang out with his other friends but I couldn't go sometimes. Thursday lat week, he met my mom and we chilled at my place for the first time ( mom lives with me). Hes been to my place before but that was the first time I let him in. That day, I invited him to go to our family party on Friday night. He said he would go but will hang out with friends first cause he already made that plan way ahead. Friday night, he texted me saying he would go and sent another text saying he was leaving from his friends house. Then I never got another text till the following day saying he was arrested for DUI. Monday, he told me he lost his job and he's trying to figure things out. I understand that his lack of contact might be cause hes going through a lot. Some friends said he might be lying cause it's unlikely that he got fired from his job(it's not a driving type of work). So my friend found his work number and called his direct line. He answered saying his name. So basically he lied about loosing his job. I'm not sure if the DUI arrest is a lie to. I'm not sure what to do at this point. We have discussed before that we are dating exclusively and if anyone of us changes mind we let each other know and not just disappear. Please I need some advice. Thank you.
Author Immissme Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 And he seemed to be a really nice guy. A shy one. So I'm totally confused why he did that.
veggirl Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 He lied to you because he is a LIAR. He probably met someone else. Have you been in contact with him since this all happened? You should text him "Glad I found out your true colors. Do not contact me again. Have fun at work" and then go no contact!
Author Immissme Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 I need some opinion please on how to handle this situation. I'm just not sure what to do .
Author Immissme Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 He lied to you because he is a LIAR. He probably met someone else. Have you been in contact with him since this all happened? You should text him "Glad I found out your true colors. Do not contact me again. Have fun at work" and then go no contact! When he sent me the text on Saturday saying he got a DUI, I replied to that text. He replied to mine. Then the continuous texts go from there. We reply to each others response. Not a lot of texting tho cause I wanted to give him space to deal with what hes going through. I've notice he doesn't respond quick like he used to but I figured it could be because hes stress out and needed some time to think.
veggirl Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 When he sent me the text on Saturday saying he got a DUI, I replied to that text. He replied to mine. Then the continuous texts go from there. We reply to each others response. Not a lot of texting tho cause I wanted to give him space to deal with what hes going through. I've notice he doesn't respond quick like he used to but I figured it could be because hes stress out and needed some time to think. So are you okay w/ him lying to you? Are you planning on forgiving him or glossing over it? You should send the text I suggested. Lying this early on is a HUGE red flag. Deal with what? He doesn't have anything to deal with. A DUI, okay so he'll have court in a few weeks, nothin to do til then unless he is now a lawyer putting together a defense case or something. And obviously he isn't job hunting since he has a job so what is he so busy with exactly again?
Author Immissme Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 So are you okay w/ him lying to you? Are you planning on forgiving him or glossing over it? You should send the text I suggested. Lying this early on is a HUGE red flag. Deal with what? He doesn't have anything to deal with. A DUI, okay so he'll have court in a few weeks, nothin to do til then unless he is now a lawyer putting together a defense case or something. And obviously he isn't job hunting since he has a job so what is he so busy with exactly again? I thought he lost his job and was busy figuring things out what to do. I understand loosing a job is a huge thing to deal with. Finding a job now a days is hard and getting a DUI on his record is worst. So I gave him a lot of space cause I thought he was busy dealing with his own "stuff".
veggirl Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I thought he lost his job and was busy figuring things out what to do. I understand loosing a job is a huge thing to deal with. Finding a job now a days is hard and getting a DUI on his record is worst. So I gave him a lot of space cause I thought he was busy dealing with his own "stuff". Right, I understand that. But: he didn't lose his job there is not much to "deal with" regarding a dui until you go to court so he basically is just blowing you off.
mortensorchid Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 That is just about the craziest thing I have ever heard! Lies about getting fired from him job / gets a DUI in the same weekend?!?! I don't know what to think on this one, except there is something very strange going on here. What that strange is, I have no idea and neither do you. But if I were in your position, I'd bow out and move on with this. It's strange, potentially shaddy, and you'd rather not find out.
Ami1uwant Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I thought he lost his job and was busy figuring things out what to do. I understand loosing a job is a huge thing to deal with. Finding a job now a days is hard and getting a DUI on his record is worst. So I gave him a lot of space cause I thought he was busy dealing with his own "stuff". Did he have just one job or two jobs? Maybe he phrased it wrong in saying "He could get fired from his job" He talked on the weekend thinking he would get fired. Maybe he hasnt told his employer yet about this---thus still working. His arrest would be public record. This is a big one to lie about. I would give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. If he was arrested for DUI his license gets immediately suspended or very restrictive where he can only use it to go to/from work. Do you know any friends of his who he was with. Have you thought of contacting them maybe through facebook and fact check his story.
Ami1uwant Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 That is just about the craziest thing I have ever heard! Lies about getting fired from him job / gets a DUI in the same weekend?!?! I don't know what to think on this one, except there is something very strange going on here. What that strange is, I have no idea and neither do you. But if I were in your position, I'd bow out and move on with this. It's strange, potentially shaddy, and you'd rather not find out. There are jobs that require you to have a clean record. For example having a job with a government agency, government contractor, or having some sort of security clerance. Some jobs require clean licenses because of insurance reasons so all employees must have clean driving records. Yes his DUI could lead to him get fired. That is a FACT. He may not have told his employer yet about this since he isnt officially convicted of the crime. But after a conviction he could then need to be fired...based on what sort of sentencing he gets from a judge.
Author Immissme Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 How do I deal with this? My friend said to send him a text asking if he wants me to come over to give him a ride to do his errands, which I did. His reply was, hi baby, I'm not feeling the best right now I'm just gonna rest and get better.
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 That is just about the craziest thing I have ever heard! Lies about getting fired from him job / gets a DUI in the same weekend?!?! I don't know what to think on this one, except there is something very strange going on here. What that strange is, I have no idea and neither do you. But if I were in your position, I'd bow out and move on with this. It's strange, potentially shaddy, and you'd rather not find out. Apparently, he got fired because of his DUI.
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 There are jobs that require you to have a clean record. For example having a job with a government agency, government contractor, or having some sort of security clerance. Some jobs require clean licenses because of insurance reasons so all employees must have clean driving records. Yes his DUI could lead to him get fired. That is a FACT. He may not have told his employer yet about this since he isnt officially convicted of the crime. But after a conviction he could then need to be fired...based on what sort of sentencing he gets from a judge. His text to me said " I lost my job today. I just need some time to think about things.". He sent that text Monday night.
veggirl Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Apparently, he got fired because of his DUI. except he is still working. ALSO, would he really be fired without even a conviction? so what's your plan? I think he is just trying to get rid of you, esp with that blow off of a text. I would tell him "okay, feel better for work! don't contact me again"
Ami1uwant Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 except he is still working. ALSO, would he really be fired without even a conviction? so what's your plan? I think he is just trying to get rid of you, esp with that blow off of a text. I would tell him "okay, feel better for work! don't contact me again" You can be fired or laid off until the case is settled. Especially for a DUI. If your job requires driving your license usually is suspended thus you can't o your job.
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 except he is still working. ALSO, would he really be fired without even a conviction? so what's your plan? I think he is just trying to get rid of you, esp with that blow off of a text. I would tell him "okay, feel better for work! don't contact me again" He seemed really into me. Asked me out every week. He takes me out. Drove to my place (which is not close to his house)pick me up, drop me off. And it's not about sex. A lot of times he controlled himself to not have sex cause according to him that's not all he wanted. He doesn't mind introducing me to his friends. He gave me compliments..a lot. It's like we're moving towards a relationship. Well, I replied to his text. I don't like games. I rather find out soon if hes not into me so I could move on. I sent a text saying I understand what your going through and I'm here to help but I want you to be honest, do you want me to just move on and forget you? If your not into me anymore, it's ok just let me know. I'm not sure if that was the right text to send. Either way, I would find out if he texts or not texts back. He hasnt replied yet. He always replies to my texts so will see.
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 You can be fired or laid off until the case is settled. Especially for a DUI. If your job requires driving your license usually is suspended thus you can't o your job. He works for government. That's why I believe that he got fired.
RachR Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Who cares? He's a liar and not worth your time. Dump his a**. Don't waste your mind figuring out this liar, six weeks of dating is not worth a moment more of that.
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 Anybody else who has ideas how to handle it? I appreciate all the feedback.
RachR Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Well, I replied to his text. I don't like games. I rather find out soon if hes not into me so I could move on. Why is the fact that he majorly lied to you not offending you? 1
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 Who cares? He's a liar and not worth your time. Dump his a**. Don't waste your mind figuring out this liar, six weeks of dating is not worth a moment more of that. I understand. Should I dump him telling him he lied? My friends said give him the benefit of a doubt and let him explain what happened but I have no idea how to proceed.
Author Immissme Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 Why is the fact that he majorly lied to you not offending you? People lie cause they have reasons why. Not all lies are bad. Sometimes, I lie to protect people. He got a DUI and maybe he got suspended from his job. He said hes been talking to a lawyer maybe he got his job back or maybe he really lied to me. I just assumed that he lied but I want to know why and if he really did.
2sunny Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Yes, dump him! He's lied now about several things. Not worth being with a liar...you'll always wonder where his truth is.
2sunny Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 People lie cause they have reasons why. Not all lies are bad. Sometimes, I lie to protect people. He got a DUI and maybe he got suspended from his job. He said hes been talking to a lawyer maybe he got his job back or maybe he really lied to me. I just assumed that he lied but I want to know why and if he really did. You don't need any more info - since he lied - anything he says at this point is bound to be MORE lies. Tell him not to communicate anymore - you should be damn tired of trying to figure out what he is or isn't lying about.
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