deejaylove Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Hi there! I haven't been on LS in a long time... I'm hoping you guys can help me out with something: My boyfriend of a year broke up with me four and a half months ago. It was a huge blow because I was (am) completely in love with him and I didn't know he wasn't feeling it. He had started to get a little distant, but not that noticeably, about a week before the breakup, which I attributed to work stress, but other than that, I thought we were a truly happy couple. He said he loved me and there was really nothing bad about our relationship, but it wasn't "ultimately right" for him. I did the usual pleading and crying. I sent him a couple of emails, which he responded to readily, still insisting he loved me and missed me, it's just not right for him. Since I was already in a depression, you can imagine the state I was in. A few days ago, I was setting up my Blueray system in my new place, and I realized I didn't have the remote. The last place I had the system set up was at my ex's, so I texted him to see if he had it. He did, and suggested we meet for me to get it. I asked him to put it on his front porch and one of my friends would grab it. He was disappointed, so I apologized and said that I'm just not ready to meet with him. He responded with, "It's ok. I'm not entirely sure I am either. I hope you're doing well." Now, today is my birthday, and he posted a birthday message on my FB wall despite the fact that my birthday isn't listed on FB. Just as I was telling my sister I didn't know if I would be sadder if he hadn't posted, he called. It's the first time I've heard his voice since the breakup, and it makes me so sad. My mom thinks I should reach out because my instinct tells me there's something he's not telling me about why he broke up. I don't know what it is, although I'm pretty sure it's not another girl or anything, but I know he still loves me. What, if anything, do you guys think I should do next? I love him and miss him so much. At times, I think, "I'm good! I can totally get over this," but then I remember that I don't want to get over it. I want him back. Thanks for any input
moveONorStay Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Communicate. Ask him straight what he wants and tell him how you feel about him. He'll either give you a straight answer that will give you closure, or he'll be a coward and avoid the question. Without communication, there is nothing. I hope it works out for you...one way, or another...it will!
Author deejaylove Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 Thanks Moveonorstay. Do you think he is throwing me breadcrumbs, or just doing what he thinks will make him a nice guy?
moveONorStay Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Sounds to me like he has been quite honest. On more than 1 occasion he has said that it's not right or that he's not ready. Maybe you need to take a step back for a while and give him some space? Maybe he has a lot on with his career and needs to focus on that right now? If its meant to be, it'll happen. For now you should focus on yourself...who knows, you might even find someone better!
Author deejaylove Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 Thanks. Yeah- I've given him a ton of space. I only contacted him for my remote... and that was the first time in three months. Meanwhile, he likes and comments on my FB a lot. I have been focusing on myself. He's the one reaching out. Thanks for your advice
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