Bhobie123 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 this could be long but please any advice would be helpful.... I moved to oregon 2 years ago to date. I did not know many people, and friend of mine reintroduced me with a girl I had met many years prior. At this time she was going through a seperation of a 10 year marriage, had a 6 years old at the time, and was moving, she was very stressed out. Over the 5-6 months we got closer and closer and had a strong connection to each other, physical and mental. and one thing led to another and we were dating. we were having an amazing time together, sharing hobbies, life, having AMAZING SEX!!!! over that first summer i showed some insecurities due to the fact that she was still very close with her ex husband (still is) and not yet divorced, but getting the actual divorce next week. So during that time of insecurity i lost some trust in her. in which she became insecure and at some point during her insecurity she decided to say screw it and become this strong headed individual. She is a very strong minded single mom because she has to be. she owns her own business, works a second job at night, and has an eight year old son, not super financially stable. She is also a women who has never been alone. she basically went into dating me after her marriage. So over the next year we had our ups and downs, we argued, we loved, we had distant moments etc. i would show my insecurities here and there and it would push her away. But we were in love, so we would work on it etc. this past spring, 2012, we took a short break, got back together in which i went full force. i could not see it any other way. but during the summer is when she is free, does not have her son as he is away with his father. so me going full force was a little too much pressure for her. so again all summer we had our ups and downs but she just felt the need to be on her own. so finally the week before labor day we had a rough one, neither of us slept well and we were tense. i was going away for the weekend and we decided we would talk when i got back. although the next week was just as tense cause she was doing some work for a wedding that we were going to, on top of her other work, being a mom etc. we never got to talking. the day of the wedding i just had to bring it up. i asked her what was up. and basically said that she should not feel like she has to be in this relationship right now. and with that she said i cant. worst part about thsi was that i was throwing her a suprise birthday party the next day, and followed through with it, as well as going to the wedding together. So its been about 5 weeks since the break/break up. 3 weeks we were together cause i was staying there and had no where to go. we constantly talked about things. she kept saying how she loved me but could not be with me right now. how she needed to focus on her life, her son, her business and did not have anything to give to this relationship as it had already demanded from her. she said that she was not writing the future off, but needed some time. so finally it came time for me to move out and its been two weeks, and we have been in contact off and on. there were a few weeks of me talking in circles and it annoyed her. and she would say nothing has changed, i am sticking to my decision, but not writing the future off. you need to take care of yourself and make things happen. we would tell each other we love each other, sex here and there, tense here and there. etc. She is still communicating with me, eventhough i am the one reaching out, she is still making bits of time for me. I need some advice people..... i love this girl to death and do want a future with her, but also want to respect her!
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