PennGuy Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Sunday afternoon my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because of her not being in love with me anymore. The last 6 months or so until the end the relationship wasn't as good as it had been previously. She was different. I'm staying at my parents house instead of our apartment for the time being. Sunday, I was a mess. Monday, I was a disaster, Tuesday, I was a disaster. Wednesday I was about 80 percent, yesterday 90, and this morning I feel fine. I've went from not eating and not sleeping, crying randomly, being painfully anxious, to laughing like crazy at work, being excited about the single guests at my sisters wedding next weekend and having a much better outlook. I almost feel guilty that I'm not feeling worse. I mean, this was the most serious relationship I have ever had. My friends and I think she has no idea what she is throwing away, but whatever. It's her life. I still am thinking about her and memories are flowing through my head but they're not accompanied by anxiety and sadness. They are just kind of there. There's no way I coped with this already unless my subconscious prepared me for this over the months she began to check out. Once again, I feel kind of guilty for not feeling worse.
sweetkiwi Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 don't. Sometimes it comes in waves, sometimes you've already known it was coming so you're okay with it. Don't feel bad or weird. Feel lucky!!
Exit Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Just pump the brakes a bit. No use trying to decide exactly how healed you are 5 days after the fact. Remember denial is a huge part of grieving. You may feel great now and then be crying two days from now. I'm not saying I wish that to happen to you, if you really are feeling so much better already, great. The last 6 months of the relationship being less than ideal probably already gave you time to prepare for the inevitable and the emotional ties to her were already weakening. But still, it was a three year relationship. If you're perfectly fine after 5 days I'd say that's not exactly good either. Just surrender and let the grieving process take you where it needs to. If you feel worse tomorrow, it's fine, if you feel even better tomorrow, great.
Mint Sauce Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 you'll be experiencing waves, that's for sure. From my experience, what you are experiencing now is some kind of relief, because you also felt the tension between the 2 of you the past months, even if you did not realize it consciously. With that tension gone, I sensed relief, freedom, strength. It only lasted a little while before what actually happened hit me. Brace yourself. It may take a few weeks or even a month or so, but after 3 years, even if things weren't good at the end, it's very likely that you're in for a bit of pain.
Author PennGuy Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 (edited) My ex is a totally different person now compared to when I had met her. The woman I met while beautiful, thought herself as dumb, untalented, and destined to go through life lost. Through my outgoing personality, I changed her. Made her realize that she can do whatever she puts her mind to. Somehow I changed her into someone who didn't need me anymore. If it was God's plan for me to make her accept and love herself, than I am ok with everything. Edited October 20, 2012 by PennGuy
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