mayday01 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Hi guys. I'll try to make this quick and to the point. I'm desperately seeking some good advice or encouragement. I’m ashamed, hurt, and confused to admit that I think I was recently ‘dissed by disappearance’. :/ I met my much older boyfriend 3 years ago and promptly moved across the country so that I could be with him. We lived together, adopted a cat, got matching tattoos, traveled around the world. He talked a lot about marrying me, future plans, starting a business, all that lovey stuff. He was my best friend and I had truly never been happier in life. We were madly in love with eachother up until about 2 months ago… Out of nowhere, he suddenly started ignoring me. I went days feeling like I was being completely unacknowledged for no reason I could understand and if I brought it up he would brush it off. Instead of once or twice a day, sex became a once-weekly phenomenon and he would never initiate. He stopped kissing me and telling me he loved me altogether. Finally, a few weeks ago he told me he would be going to London for a photography job and wouldn’t give me any kind of timeline or date as to when he might be returning. I told him I would love to come visit for a week and never really got any kind of response. He left 2 weeks ago and we barely spoken. Not even a call to ask about our cat. I've, pathetically, begged him not to leave me, but he's not giving me any answers. And now I’m alone, away from all my family and I don’t have many friends. I would understand if this were a slow process where, over the course of a few months we gradually grew apart, but this whole thing just came out of nowhere.. I just can’t help but think that he might be going through some kind of midlife crisis. I told him whatever he's going through I will still be there but I’m not sure where we stand. I’m still so deeply in love with him but I’ve never in my life felt so hopeless, hurt, confused, etc.
yessy21 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I'm truly sorry your feeling this way. He has mislead you terribly. Figure out a way to move on with your life. without him. because giving someone no answers is selfish and unforgivable. how could you just walk away from someone without an explanation, its like saying your not worth an explanation.
Author mayday01 Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 Will, thanks so much for your input. I agree with you that he is a coward, but (there is a slight possibility I could be in denial) I have it in my head that he's just not the cheating kind and that he's genuinely going through a crisis. I just want to hear the truth so this situation can be resolved. I'm not sure how to get that.
Calico Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I agree with you that he is a coward, but (there is a slight possibility I could be in denial) I have it in my head that he's just not the cheating kind ... Did you previously believe that he's the kind of man who would wordlessly disappear on you, deliberately leave you waiting and hurting, and that he could ever go cold on you so suddenly? 1
Author mayday01 Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 Did you previously believe that he's the kind of man who would wordlessly disappear on you, deliberately leave you waiting and hurting, and that he could ever go cold on you so suddenly? I did consider this and obviously I never thought he'd leave me high and dry like this. However, I still don't believe there's someone else. He is originally from London. We have all the same friends there who I know would let me know if something was going on.
Frank13 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I met my much older boyfriend 3 years ago . How much older? What are your ages?
Author mayday01 Posted October 20, 2012 Author Posted October 20, 2012 How much older? What are your ages? I'm not sure if it's significant or not, but I'm 23 and he's nearly 38.
Liz2012 Posted October 20, 2012 Posted October 20, 2012 I think he really wanted to go do this photography thing and can't express that he either didn't want you there or didn't think you'd want to go there and this thing is more important than you in his life right now. I don't think there's someone else. Never know but I think he just wanted to go do this thing. Sometimes men can be a bit ruthless with such. Gutted for you, sounded like a nice relationship. 1
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