laila1711 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Hi all I have had a long distance thing with a german man.I have been seeing him for a year and we have met up twice.He called me a lot.I know he was moving and selling his business so was super stressed.Since our last argument in Aug when i said long distance is not for me (i said it to get attention)he did not contact me,i eventaully conatcted him and he seemed relieved to hear from me and said he was stressed.Next day i sent him a email do you care for me,he replied it makes me smile when your happy and i feel bad when your sad,i sent him another i want to feel you want me,in response to that he called me and left a nice message.Then he went silent on me for 4 days so i text him and said i was coming over to see you,he replied wht day?i replied and he went silent.Next day i said call me asap,which he did and ask me to go on skype.He asked me what sort of day i had about my friends etc then i said how do you feel about me coming over,he said im always working so i said well then he said he is away so i siad you dont want to see me he said i dont want a relationship,i got real upset and asked him why are you telling me after 1 year and cut him off skype and blocked him.I was heartbroken.Why did he make so many long distance calls to me?why did he answer my texts?Its been 3 weeks since this happened and i have not contacted him nor has he.Im not handling it well.Sorry if its a long post
Berna Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 My guess is that feelings faded over time. Maybe due to too much drama. Maybe he felt it was over after the argument and decided to detach. Whatever the reason, you need to move on. Hang in there.
KatZee Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I'm going to be the Negative Nancy here. You've been "seeing" a guy for a year, but you've only met him twice. This isn't a relationship. You may have been communicating online, or skyping or whatever else, but at the end of the day, he has his life, and you have yours, I wouldn't for a second doubt the fact that maybe he has an actual real life girlfriend where he is, or is at least hooking up with people where he is. There's no real obligation to you, you're not near him, you don't really even see him...In some version of reality phone calls and texts can sustain a real relationship, but not in real life. There's no intimacy there. You met him online, correct? I think if you would have been dating him for a while and then he moved away, this would have been a more legitimate relationship, but if you just met him online and only have seen him twice in one year... eh. 3
stillafool Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 OP it does seem from your post that you have been trying to force him to have feelings for you that he doesn't. I think he takes your calls to be polite. Some men don't like to hurt a womans feelings and that seems to be what he is doing. I think you should stop chasing after him. I too wouldn't be surprised if he already has a gf. 2
Lisa_Lisa Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Long distance relationships don't work unless there is a common date you're both waiting on like, "January 1st we'll finally be together." There has to be an end point in mind. But if it's ONLY long distance then where's the hope? Did you expect to marry him? Did he express something along the lines of you moving there or he moving to where you are? Feelings do fade because it gets so hard with the obligation of having to make a phone call, text, or Skype. Both parties have to be really committed to making it work and I think he just doesn't want to anymore. Sorry. Keep your chin up. There's plenty of people to meet right outside your door. 1
Author laila1711 Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 Thank you all for your replys. I met him when we were both flying. Im not so sure he has someone else as whenever i called at night he always picked up ans whenever i saw him on skype he did look a fine mess. He was a very cold person and if he did not want to answer a question by mail he just ignored you so i find it strange why he would try and be polite. I have never met a man who does not know how to treat a women properly he was so clumsy but i did give him my heart. At this moment i cant see any happiness in my life and just feel rejected and lonely.
Author laila1711 Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 Forgot to add he is 45 and im 30.
sweetkiwi Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 you're thirty. Pack up camp and find a guy who is available. As in, can see you in person, wants to see you more, can't wait to see you, oh and doesn't live on another continent.
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