What are the real stats on cheating?

[strongnrelaxed]

I just read this article. According to the piece "the reality is it's not as rampant as we think, with 28 percent of married men and 18 percent of married women admitting to having a sexual liaison, the survey found."

 

I am used to hearing numbers in the 70 percent range for men.

 

What are we to believe?

 

Cheating hearts: Who's doing it and why - Health - Sexual health | NBC News

[Pyro]

Considering the number of people who won't admit to it or being that many have their own unique idea of what does and doesn't count as cheating there really is no way to get 'real' stats.

[carhill]

I would agree about stats being unreliable and, further, as people's 'definitions' of what cheating is vary widely, such statistics would skew even further. By LS standards, I've known a lot of people who cheated, meaning they engaged in inappropriate behaviors that their spouse/partner would find offensive and a betrayal of their relationship. Some of those were with me, regretfully. However, the preponderance of those people did not and do not feel, by their assertions, that they have cheated, so that would skew the statistics, even those anecdotal ones I might put together. Short of verifiable PIV or other obviously sexual activity, for a lot of people, cheating is nebulous and 'explainable'. It is what it is. All of those who have 'confessed' cheating to me have been PIV cheaters by their own admission. That's my contribution to the stats.

[threebyfate]

Cheaters want to believe others cheat, making it and themselves the normative. Reality says otherwise. There are more decent folk out there than cheaters.

[karnak]

Cheaters want to believe others cheat, making it and themselves the normative. Reality says otherwise. There are more decent folk out there than cheaters.

 

I used to believe in that.

 

Not anymore.

[Woggle]

I find it really hard to believe it is that low.

[beenburned]

I have read some stats that say 60% men and 40% women will cheat once, at some point in their married lives. (I personally do not think it is that high due to divorce being easy to get and accepted nowdays.)

 

They also break it down:

 

Of those people 80% it will be only once in their lives.

 

The other 18% will cheat 1-3 times in their lives.

 

Only 2% of all people are true sex addicts/lifetime serial cheaters.

 

I think BS that are trying to make a decision about whether to reconcile or divorce, need to closely look at the WS's long term actions, mentality, and values/morals.

 

threebyfate,

 

I agree with you. Most cheaters use the phrase "everyone does it" to try and justify their bad behavior.

Edited October 19, 2012 by beenburned
used word twice

[Spark1111]

it depends who is doing the reporting, IMO.

 

Spyware, investigatory and even some for-profit marital counseling web sites tend to amp the stats as it is good for business. Media too, as it grabs ratings and sells paper. Scandal sells.

 

I have read every study, and there are just too many variables. Most people do not freely admit this info, women especially, so the higher stats include all relationships since adolescence. Women will admit to cheating, but not on whom. Should bfs and gfs since the age of 18 count in these stats? I don't think so.

 

Those who counsel couples in crises after infidelity guestimate 35%, or 1 in 2.7 marriages.

 

But then not every couple seeks counseling.

[GLDheart]

...28 percent of married men and 18 percent of married women...

 

Stats are so easily manipulated. Watch this: "People cheat in 46% of marriages"... see what I did there? Also, that stat doesn't even touch Long Term Relationships and engagements etc...

[OhGeesh]

I would agree with what you found far more than those 70% numbers. The key here is while people on this and other sites call anything more than a "Hey, how are you doing today?" a affair. Most people do not call txting affair, or im, or facebook messages, most call infidelity sex or something close to that.

 

True sexual infidelity I think the numbers are low like you stated.

[xxoo]

I just read this article. According to the piece "the reality is it's not as rampant as we think, with 28 percent of married men and 18 percent of married women admitting to having a sexual liaison, the survey found."

 

The lower numbers make more sense to me, based on my own social experiences.

 

There are probably differences in rates in different social groups, leading some to believe cheating is very common, and others to believe it is uncommon. Also, one group with a high rate and a high profile (celebrities) contributes to the idea that cheating is more common than it truly is.