Melissa7611 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 o.k. her it goes...i am supposed to meet this guy i have been talking to online on sunday. of note....i have already met him. i met him last saturday. we hit it off and had a great time. i talked to him for a few minutes on sunday, but we played phone tag. finally on tuesday i called him. told him i was going up to visit my friend again this weekend. (this is in the same town i was in last weekend and this is also where he met me). Anyways...i finally called him on tuesday. talked for about five minutes, he was packing to go on a business trip. he told me he'd call me from while on the trip. it has been two days..have not heard from him. i know he's busy...he's been running around since last week, went to mexico for business, on saturday drove two hours to meet me, then on sunday drove to south carolina from florida, then drove back home on monday night. he also left on wed, (yest) to kentucky for business. anyways..i told him i was going to be up there (north central florida) this weekend. i asked him if he wanted to get together. he said...great....sound's good. yeah let's get together. he then asked me what day? i said probably sunday. he said o.k. i'll give you a call to figure out what we're going to do. O.k. it''s now going to be friday, and i have not heard from him. we had a great time last weekend. he told me he was happy he came down. he said he had a great time and was having fun . He even asked me last saturday, if i was going to call him on sunday.i told him of course i was. MY QUESTION IS.......NOW WHAT? do i call him tomorrow to find out what's going on? should i wait for him to call me? or am i just wasting my time? HELP!! i'm starting to get frustrated!
mac007 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 I would recommend to not call him. Are you going to be chasing him all over across America. You deserve someone better who will call you. End it on your part now. If he calls you, then that is great. start out slow. MAC
Author Melissa7611 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 MAC007..your right. i know i shouldn't call him. i mean if he want's to talk to me he will. it's just kinda annoying cause he acts all nice and like he wants to hang out. he was all excited when i asked him..but your right. i won't call him. i just hope i don't have a momentary moment of weakness
Tech76 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Try playing hard to get for awhile and see what happens.
Author Melissa7611 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 thanks tech76...i will try it and see how it goes
HoldOn Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Melissa, I agree, don't call him. Some might call me old fashioned...But I think in the beginning of the relationship it is ESSENTIAL for the man to pursue. Don't call him and don't make the plans. In this case, you suggested going out this weekend and driving to his town (I know you are already going there). But you are making it TOO EASY for him. Let him do a little work. Don't be soooo available. If he has to work a little and wonder about your feelings, he'll feel stronger for you. Wait for him to call you. And if you've already made other plans...Whoops, I didn't think you were going to call and I already made plans. No flaming please. This is just my opinion. If he likes her enough, he'll go to the ends of the earth to see her. In this case, she's not giving him the chance to do that.
mac007 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 I don't this this is the appropriate advice "Try playing hard to get for awhile and see what happens." You should not try to act out and "play," Rather you should just be true to yourself. Playing hard to get does not nothing for you other than just playing around. The main thing to do is try "being" true to yourself. Let those who want to play, play in the sandbox. MAC
mac007 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 I don't think this is the appropriate advice "Try playing hard to get for awhile and see what happens." You should not try to act out and "play," Rather you should just be true to yourself. Playing hard to get does not nothing for you other than just playing around. The main thing to do is try "being" true to yourself. Let those who want to play, play in the sandbox. MAC
HoldOn Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 You can be yourself without acting desperate. (No offense, I'm not talking about anyone in particular.) When you first meet a new friend, do you play it cool for a while or do you pursue this person relentlessly until they go to a movie with you? No, you play it cool. Why should it be any different for a boyfriend. You've just met him. At least give him a chance to show interest in you... It has nothing to do with your personality. It's not a game, it's not playing. It's just not giving yourself away before the other person does. It's common sense. If you (a guy I think) invited a new guy friend out to a movie and week in advance and he said he would call you. But he didn't call. Would you make other plans if you hadn't heard from him by movie day? Probably.
Author Melissa7611 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 seriously...now i am really confused!!! Ultimately i know i am the one that has to decide what to do, but that's just it. i mean...i know i shouldn't call him, he should call me. I know that i shouldn't chase after him. i haven't been. he's the one who was calling me and wanting to talk to me for the past 2 weeks. i mean..for god's sake, why ask me if i am going to call you? i did and then we end up talking for 5 minutes and then play phone tag. why tell me that you are going to call me from louisville, ky and then not call? in my mind it would have been better for him not to say that. i forgot to mention that i told him not to call me because i didn't want him to feel obligated. i must have said that about 5 times. then i told him to forget what i said, i was just in a weird mood. he was really confused when i said that...he was like...i don't get it. the next day i emailed him ..made it short and sweet....i apologized for saying what i said the night before and told him i didn't want him to think that i expected him to call. i told him...sometimes girls are so confusing. that was it. told him i was looking forward to seeing him. and hope he had a great day. . i've really screwed myself up! i am normally not like this. i should have told you guys all of this before. anyways...why tell me i'll talk to you sometime this week to figure out what were going to do on sunday, and not call!!!!! I'M PISSED!! MAYBE I SHOULDN'T BE, BUT I AM!!! IF HE DIDN'T WANT TO HANG OUT HE SHOULD HAVE SAID SO!!! he didn't have to act happy that i asked him. this is too much!!! i am going up there anyway.....wether he calls or not. i have an obligation to my friend so...no calling right? MAYBE I AM JUMPING THE GUN!! so..i guess i shouldn't call him. i mean..i know i deserve better!
HoldOn Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 OK, just relax. It would piss me off too if a guy said he would call and then didn't. Oh boy does that make me MAD. But you can't make a guy do what you want. You've just got to relax and wait and see. Everything will work out. By e-mailing him you have left the ball in his court. If he wants to hang out, he will call. If he doesn't he won't. And then you'll find a new guy who calls when he says he will.
Author Melissa7611 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 HoldOn... so your right! i am not desperate!! i just hate waiting!! i mean i don't expect to talk to him all the time. know i've only known him a short time! i don't want him to think that i am pushy. cause i am not!!!! i guess i should leave it up to him. i mean i told him i was going...so he know's i'll be up there anyways. so if he doesn't call today, i'll just make other plans. thanks for listeaning..i appreciate it very much!!! if he doesn't call me for this weekend, should i just forget it? and not call him ever?
Author Melissa7611 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 i am calm....i don't like this at all. this nervousness is not me!!! it's up to him...you are right!! the ball is in his court!!! THANKS!!!
Author Melissa7611 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 I WILL!!! i have plenty of other things on my plate right now!!! thanks A BUNCH. I'LL LET U KNOW IF ANYTHING CHANGES
mac007 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 If he doesn't call you like he said he was, then call him. Let him know what you want in a boyfriend. This will set a standard that he will have to measure up to, if he wants to be with you. Call him only for closure. Thus in the meantime, go out and have fun, go to the movies, go shopping. Shopping is good therapy. MAC
HoldOn Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Originally posted by mac007 If he doesn't call you like he said he was, then call him. Let him know what you want in a boyfriend. This will set a standard that he will have to measure up to, if he wants to be with you. Call him only for closure. Yes, then tell him how you are looking for a husband and he really seems like husband material. Call me!!! please? please? Oh WHY are you doing this to me. You said you would call and then you didn't. Don't you know that we are perfect for each other? I called your mom, but she didn't know where you were.... I know I am being overly dramatic, but I couldn't help it.
Author Melissa7611 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 you guys are too much!!!! HoldOn..your making me laugh which is always good!!! I'll definetely tell him all that...hE"LL RUN AWAY FOR SURE!!!! (j/k) MAC007 i did go shopping yest. with one of my friends. didn't really t hink about it too much!!! which was great! GOOD ADVICE!! US GIRLS LIKE TO SHOP!! I'll be helping my friend clean up her apartment tomorrow, she's moving out on sunday, and then he sister is having her baby baptised on sunday, so i'll be occupied. i just hate the not knowing!!! that's what drives me nuts!! so are you both saying that i should only call him for closure..to tell him what i expect, and that there is no point in wasting my time if he is not interested? call him after this weekend or when?
HoldOn Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Nah, I say don't call him. If he doesn't call you by Sunday, then I would assume that it's over. If he calls you after Sunday, I wouldn't talk to him since he broke a promise.
Author Melissa7611 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 i wont call him!!!! at all!!! if i feel like telling him what i think i will. but for now..i'm gonna let it go. i'm not wasting my time!!!
mac007 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 IF in your weakness, by chance you happen to call him, then Let him know it is over. Ask him why he never called? then let him know it is over. Mac007
Author Melissa7611 Posted July 31, 2004 Author Posted July 31, 2004 Mac007: so far so good. haven't called him. haven't talked to him. but i'm thinking maybe tomorrow i will. just to let him know how dissapointed i am in him. and how i don't appreciate him playing with me. and i will not under any circumstances...ask him about hanging out. i had a really good day today. i'm over it!!! i figure...his loss, not mine!!!
HoldOn Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 Allright, girl. As long as you guard your heart and stay upbeat, everything should be fine. Don't let him drag you down.
kinipela321 Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 hey!! I just went thru this same crap - only in the same zip code as me. DO NOT - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD - call him. If someone wants you THAT bad, there is nothing that would hold him back from seeing you or contacting you. DO NOT call him. I can see you are going back & forth and i was the same way (deciding if you should call or not). Personally, i would NOT call, but that's my opinion...) If i could turn the clock back, i would have made this a** chase me..and not vice versa. I drove myself INSANE because this guy did the same thing. Told me he'd call after work, told me he'd call after a meeting, blah blah. It's all BS. There sounds like there was a little confusion there but regardless. Plans are plans. If you had plans with this man and if he does NOT call you by let's say tomorrow morning, then blow it off, let it go. Thankfully, it isn't a deep enough relationship to be hurt by. If he calls you after this weekend, guaranteed he will probably act like you were supposed to call him and he'll ask "what happened, how come you never called, i thought we were going to meet".... Forget him. Move on. If something is meant to be, it will be. Be patient. Keep yourself occupied. Do not become obsessed with this, seriously. I am not trying to come off sounding like a know it all, but my one friend wanted to literally shake me until my head spun off because this man just played such head trips with this crap. it's not worth losing your mental health. I'm telling you -- if he's interested, he will call. Do things with your time. Forget him. Good luck!!!
Author Melissa7611 Posted July 31, 2004 Author Posted July 31, 2004 Hey all...i appreciate all the advice you guys have given me. Trust me after going back and forth i have decided that i am not going to call him at all. i was debating in regards to calling him sometime next week and telling him how dissappointed i was..but i came to the conclusion after reading all the posts that i would just be wasting my time. i have too much going on to be worrying about it. i don't need to get all crazy over this. right now my life is crazy enough. I know if he really liked he he would pursue me. he was pursuing me, but i guess he changed his mind...HIS LOSS!!! i appreciate all of your guys advice. I have been going back and forth with everything and analyzing everything. i know when i guy likes me..i've been pursued before. I admit it does suck...and i am dissappointed, but at least i'm not in love with this guy. I've only known him 2 weeks!!! i am being very guarded, that's why i don't want to make a mistake. i need all the advice i can get. my friends are behind me 100%. they say don't call him. let him call u if he wants. I feel bad cause i 've been driving them nuts!!! WHY ARE GUYS SUCH A PAIN IN THE A**!!! seriously..i wonder if it's all worth it!
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