Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 I think most of this mentality is because of where you're located. In urban areas it's UNHEARD OF for girls to WANT to get pregnant and settle down before the age of 25. They travel, they seek advanced degrees, they party with their girlfriends, they establish themselves as contributing members of society - their sole purpose is not to breed. I'm 33 and I have SEVERAL girlfriends who are single and it doesn't bother us one bit. We plan trips, we have disposable income, we like to date, wine taste, you name it. I'm having the time of my life quite honestly and I do NOT envy those girls back home who are overweight and never left and have 4 kids now. You mentioned FB. You wouldn't believe how many of them comment on my pics or send messages saying "Omg I'm so jealous that looks like so much fun!" Have you thought about broadening your world view after you graduate? Moving somewhere like Boston, DC, New York? There's a whole big world out there for you to discover hun. And it's loads of fun. And you can do it without a man or a baby holding you back. You only get one shot at this thing called life and heck you can have a baby now when you're late 30's. It's becoming the norm. Just please don't think about this anymore while you're a broke student with no money living with mom and dad. This is SO UNFAIR to a baby you would bring in. I would love to go to Boston or DC, I might get to go on a trip to DC for spring break with this group I just joined I definitely need to travel because all the guys I have met in my state suck but then what if I move and the guys in those states suck too?? That's what scares me. And I haven't had the easiest time making friends so leaving my state to go some place where I have no one really freaks me out. I do want to move after graduation to either NC, VA, MA, or IN it depends where I find a job ill go anywhere if I can get a decent job to support myself.
Drseussgrrl Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Honey - men suck EVERYWHERE. There's no getting around that. You're going to struggle with dating regardless of where you end up - it's just a fact of life for everyone. I think you need to shift your focus from "Omg where can I move to find a man" to "Where do *I* want to live where I can land a great career, make new friends, pursue my interests, etc." This type of attitude is what WILL ultimately attract a quality guy who will make a great husband and father SOMEDAY. When I moved to DC 6 years ago I didn't know a soul. But through getting involved with my gym, running group, cornhole league, and other things I enjoy doing I have made so many friends and I never have a weekend where I'm not doing something fun. Men are secondary.
veggirl Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I can only go by girls I have gone to school with one in particular, her situation is how ideally my life will play out. She met this guy and they dated a long time and then broke up then she started dating a new guy shortly after and within 2 months of them being together she got pregnant, she is like 4 months pregnant now and they are engaged so I feel like her getting pregnant just sped up their engagement and marriage. My ex had a son by his ex, they were together 4 years (only a year maybe when she got pregnant) he was going to marry this girl and he probably would have had she not cheated on him. So I feel like when you get pregnant it makes decent guys want to marry you faster. I know it seems totally irrational because for every good guy who will marry his child's mother there are like 20 who won't but I always figure MAYBE hopefully I would get lucky if it happened to me and get a good guy who wants to marry me too. I know it's stupid. I know.. I'm in therapy. Jeessssus that sounds like a great way to be divorced by 25. Please don't emulate that chick. People don't need to get married in their early 20s, even mid is too soon for a lot of people. You seriously should take a year off dating....
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