kaylan Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 (edited) Im kind of annoyed at the moment. Over the last few months, Ive been desiring a girlfriend somewhat. But the girls I meet, or crush on, all seem to be lacking that spark Ive had with my exes. That personality clicking "it"-factor. One girl Ive been interested in has a lot of things going for her...but the problem is that shes just too nice and laid back. Like we get along great as friends, but when I think about how the romantic angle would work, I just dont feel optimistic. Its only those times where she really goes toe to toe with me in a intellectual discussion, or in playful banter, that my interest really goes up. I know what Im drawn too, and its a feisty braniac to be honest. But these chicks seem rare at the moment. And there is this other girl Im interested in at the moment as well. We met two years ago and had a great conversation the first time I met her, but then I didnt get her number and finally saw her again a few weeks ago since I just learned we have a mutual friend. But from the few times weve talked, she seems laid back sorta too....but I gotta get to know her more. I guess the purpose of this thread is too ask people if they ever get in moods like this. Where you are super missing that "omg I def know Im really into you" spark. Ive just been bored with the people Ive been meeting lately. Im just bitching, because its frustrating....super frustrating to find someone you really click with. Edited October 19, 2012 by kaylan
ThaWholigan Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Hah, that's just what I want. A feisty brainiac for a GF . Or as I call them, the "intellectual bad girl" . I think if you know that attraction happens that way for you then I guess you have to stick to your guns and try to factor your search into your day-to-day life. I'm the same, I know instantly if I'm attracted, it doesn't take very long for me. For others it's more of a slow burn. I can't say I get moody about not finding what I want. I spent so long with absolutely no action that patience is one of my strongest attributes now . 1
SmileFace Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I personally doubt this spark thing. It never happened for and I am not waiting for it. I can't even understant it but it sounds nice; so if you know it's there - wait it out.
xdahliax Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 What's wrong with laid-back girls? You can totally find a laid-back brainiac.
ThaWholigan Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 What's wrong with laid-back girls? You can totally find a laid-back brainiac. He's probably more attracted to that edgy girl who will actually argue with him without backing down. I like laid-back girls too, but I like the passionate side of things too. I'm a balanced guy myself, it helps if the girl I'm with is able to be the same way.
Author kaylan Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 What's wrong with laid-back girls? You can totally find a laid-back brainiac. Everything ThaWholigan has said is right on the money. Nothing wrong with laid-back girls....its just that Im a live wire, and Id like the same in a girlfriend. It creates electricity and is just exciting for me. Like attracts like, ya know?
Leigh 87 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I thought you were focusing on your career and were not interested in anything serious?
Author kaylan Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 ^I mostly am focusing on work, but Ive lately been more open to something with the right girl. To be honest, I come in and out of moods. Sometimes I feel I wanna be single and other times I really missed having someone.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Im kind of annoyed at the moment. Over the last few months, Ive been desiring a girlfriend somewhat. But the girls I meet, or crush on, all seem to be lacking that spark Ive had with my exes. That personality clicking "it"-factor. One girl Ive been interested in has a lot of things going for her...but the problem is that shes just too nice and laid back. Like we get along great as friends, but when I think about how the romantic angle would work, I just dont feel optimistic. Its only those times where she really goes toe to toe with me in a intellectual discussion, or in playful banter, that my interest really goes up. I know what Im drawn too, and its a feisty braniac to be honest. But these chicks seem rare at the moment. And there is this other girl Im interested in at the moment as well. We met two years ago and had a great conversation the first time I met her, but then I didnt get her number and finally saw her again a few weeks ago since I just learned we have a mutual friend. But from the few times weve talked, she seems laid back sorta too....but I gotta get to know her more. I guess the purpose of this thread is too ask people if they ever get in moods like this. Where you are super missing that "omg I def know Im really into you" spark. Ive just been bored with the people Ive been meeting lately. Im just bitching, because its frustrating....super frustrating to find someone you really click with. I never understood the whole "spark" thing. I mean, WTH. You are either attracted to / intrigued by a girl physically and intellectually, or you are not. I don't get the whole "spark" thing.......
carhill Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I guess the purpose of this thread is too ask people if they ever get in moods like this. Where you are super missing that "omg I def know Im really into you" spark. Ive just been bored with the people Ive been meeting lately. Im just bitching, because its frustrating....super frustrating to find someone you really click with. Not really, as 'click' overwhelmingly has come with time for me, as I get to know someone. That process also means relatively few potentials ever bear any sort of fruit. It's a choice, just like your process is a choice. You think it's outside of your control, but it's not. I recall a 'instant spark' from 'feisty, toe to toe, intellectual banter' in younger years and the results of those iterations, so began to choose differently. Perhaps that's a life process. A choice for each period of life. If the people you're meeting are boring you, do something that doesn't bore you. The people will always be there. 1
Author kaylan Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 I never understood the whole "spark" thing. I mean, WTH. You are either attracted to / intrigued by a girl physically and intellectually, or you are not. I don't get the whole "spark" thing....... Basically "spark" is the totality of complete physical and intellectual attraction. Basically whats missing with most girls I meet is a complete intellectual attraction. Physical attraction is usually the easy part.
espec10001 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Keep at it. You'll find that person that you click with. I firmly believe that the third principle, the "chemistry" that you are talking about, that's something that naturally happens. Yeah, it's frustrating when you talk to a lot of girls and you just don't feel that special something, but you'll find it.
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 I never really understood the whole "spark" thing either until I met my current BF. I've had compatibility and attraction in spades in the past, but assumed this whole spark business was just a myth. Not so (for me anyways). So, yes, I know what you're talking about. I imagine it would be difficult to go back once you've had that kind of connection with someone.
Mrlonelyone Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Often we will advise a young woman to give a different kind of man a chance. That clearly the type you usually go for isn't working on a long term basis. Maybe, someone who's more "boring" is what you need in the long run. Maybe not. I know how you feel Kaylan. I meet so many people and feel nothing for them, at all, not even friendship. It's really depressing. Finding someone I click with as a friend first is always key for me. Searching and searching and not finding even that friendly connection with someone is the second worst.
threebyfate Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Are you meeting them in intellectual environments? If not, change your venue.
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