a.b Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 Okay so my exes best friend has been a rock for me these past few weeks, I really do not know where I would be right now without her. Now you might think it's strange having your exes best friend being your rock but it's just the way it's worked out for me. To say she is ashamed of my ex would be an understatement, and she totally backs me in this situation. She hates how she is rubbing this new guy in her face (cause she was cheated on too) and my face. I suspect they will not be friends for much longer if my ex continues to be this insensitive and stupid. Now my problem is she talks to me about it, she has no one else to talk to about this, I have been there for her with her own relationship stuff and we've been like each others support system. Every time she talks to me or vents towards me about my ex it is making it difficult for me to move on completely but I can't just abandon her on this..... So how bad is this for me? Will this significantly slow me down in moving on?
Author a.b Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 Would appreciate anyone's intake on this?
phuongnn Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Its hard to comment without a full story. Sorry. I feel your loss and sincerely hope things will work out better for you
Author a.b Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 Its hard to comment without a full story. Sorry. I feel your loss and sincerely hope things will work out better for you I appreciate that, thanks though. If you are interested and have time, if you look at my thread history the first 2 threads I posted will give a more in depth look into the story.
Calico Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 You already know the answer. Of course it slows you down, gets you stuck, causes you to rubberband and makes you feel unnecessarily worse. Not only do you frequently talk to her about the situation and she vents to you even at the times when you don't talk about it, she's also the best friend of your ex and as such strongly reminds you of your ex and the situation. "She has no one else to talk about this with" is an excuse. I'm sure she has other friends (are you sure she has no romantic interest in you?). She may have been a rock in those past few weeks, but she's also the rock chained to your ankle.
Author a.b Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 You already know the answer. Of course it slows you down, gets you stuck, causes you to rubberband and makes you feel unnecessarily worse. Not only do you frequently talk to her about the situation and she vents to you even at the times when you don't talk about it, she's also the best friend of your ex and as such strongly reminds you of your ex and the situation. "She has no one else to talk about this with" is an excuse. I'm sure she has other friends (are you sure she has no romantic interest in you?). She may have been a rock in those past few weeks, but she's also the rock chained to your ankle. No I am certain she has no romantic interest in me, she is deeply in love with her boyfriend, talks about him a lot! And despises people who cheat, not to mention her boyfriend got cheated on badly so she would never ever do anything like that. Yeah you are right I know it will slow the process down, but I really don't think she has anyone else to talk to who understands her situation quite like me, and I think she struggles to open up and talk about her problems to others. I don't see her in person as me and my ex was long distance. We talk via phone, text, facebook etc. I just can't bring myself to abandon her when she helped me so much. And I have grown quite close to her as a friend and want to be there for her also. I think I might just have to bite the bullet on this one.
Million.to.1 Posted October 19, 2012 Posted October 19, 2012 Why don't you just ask her to stop talking to you about your ex? Just explain it's better for you not to be thinking about her and talking about her untill you've dealt with your own issues with her. If she is a good friend, she will understand an do what she can to make life easier for you. She shouldn't be burdening you with this, but it's easy to do in that type of situation as your ex is the common ground between you and your friend. You have to stop that being the pivot of the relationship and avoid the topic altogether for a good while.
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