sendme Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 I feel weak today... had a rough week at school... some tough meetings... some blows to my self esteem... the guy I've been staying busy with is out of town until Sunday... I'm sitting here alone... insecure... feeling like I wish I had one hell of a weekend planned, but I don't... I feel lonely, and he's off work today... he's home, he's been home all day... just 150 yards from my door is his door... and he's behind it... I could knock, I know he'd open it... he always does... I would love to just be lost in him.... rolling around the sheets forgetting about everything, just lost in the pure pleasure of his skin and my skin... yet even as I type this I know he's been with other people in the past 18 days.... I feel like it should be easier by now... but it's not... it's hard, still hard... sometimes even harder because I'm starting to realize he's not coming around... we're not getting back together this time... which ultimately is a good thing, but right now it feels lonely...
suladas Posted October 18, 2012 Posted October 18, 2012 That sucks, I know how you feel, my ex is about 10 yard away only, right next door.... At 3 months now it's much easier to deal with it, but man sometimes coming home or being at home it hits me and it sucks. 18 days isn't that long, I was still a mess, it will get better over time. It might hurt more, but it's probably better you know he's been with someone else that way you know it's over and can move on. I use to drive myself crazy wondering if she was going to start seeing someone else. It's almost worse knowing she hasn't. Getting to feel fine being alone is a good thing to work on and get use to. Once you can be at peace with that, it gets better. I'm single and i'm perfectly fine with it, and don't plan to change that for a while. Sure once in a while it's lonely, but not depending on someone else for your happiness is huge.
Author sendme Posted October 19, 2012 Author Posted October 19, 2012 I made it... one more day... I really wasn't sure I could do it today, but I did... Hurray me!
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