Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Even Presidents can be douche-bags.
GoodOnPaper Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 You would have had to work very hard to be where you're at. BIG TRADE-OFF. Lots of time, money, and discipline went into your conventional education, but at a calculated cost, your unconventional education. You now lack social skills, sexual exploits, and humor, like a lot of scientists do. Nothing our of the ordinary. The only thing I've noticed that IS out of the ordinary is the spite you seem carry-on with. You paint a pretty bleak picture -- my level of dissatisfaction shouldn't be that surprising. Without the sexual exploits, what's missing is acceptance that it's OK to be who I am. In my book, intimacy = acceptance. Unfortunately, things about myself that I would like to consider strengths have always seemed to work against me. But I digress from the thread topic . . . I think there is a chicken-and-the-egg problem with "brain candy". Does "intelligence" generate attraction in a woman or does chemistry with someone generate a more favorable perception of his intelligence? I vote the latter. Supposedly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- I think the perception of intelligence works the same way.
Author GirlontheLam Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 You paint a pretty bleak picture -- my level of dissatisfaction shouldn't be that surprising. Without the sexual exploits, what's missing is acceptance that it's OK to be who I am. In my book, intimacy = acceptance. Unfortunately, things about myself that I would like to consider strengths have always seemed to work against me. But I digress from the thread topic . . . I think there is a chicken-and-the-egg problem with "brain candy". Does "intelligence" generate attraction in a woman or does chemistry with someone generate a more favorable perception of his intelligence? I vote the latter. Supposedly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- I think the perception of intelligence works the same way. Chemistry isn't just physical chemistry. There is also "emotional" chemistry. This feel sort of like an "I've known you forever and it is really easy to spend time with you" feeling. This is actually crucial as well, and can lead to physical chemistry in some cases. Ideally you want both. I find on some levels "brain candy" is a shortcut to emotional chemistry. Having common interests, lots of of stuff to talk about and so on are all really important signs. Just being "smart" isn't enough, it is really all about the social connection too. Being "smart" doesn't preclude you from being social either. 2
Els Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I think there is a chicken-and-the-egg problem with "brain candy". Does "intelligence" generate attraction in a woman or does chemistry with someone generate a more favorable perception of his intelligence? I vote the latter. Supposedly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- I think the perception of intelligence works the same way. For some, perhaps. But if we're talking about 'conventional' intelligence, there is a commonly-accepted measure - IQ. Not that most people would know their partner's scores right away, but the scores are actually very reflective of a person's ability to reason through complex patterns and trains of thought, all of which are very noticeable in how they speak and write. You'd need to engage in long, in-depth conversation with them to arrive at the conclusion, sure (or read many of their posts), but most people with high levels of conventional intelligence are able to deduce the conventional intelligence of a conversational partner fairly accurately. Again, that alone matters little. There are a few posters here whose attitudes are absolutely loathesome but are, as much as I hate to admit, quite conventionally intelligent. Given the choice between dating them and a hamster, I'd take the hamster. 1
Hawaii50 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 (edited) You paint a pretty bleak picture -- my level of dissatisfaction shouldn't be that surprising. Without the sexual exploits, what's missing is acceptance that it's OK to be who I am. In my book, intimacy = acceptance. Unfortunately, things about myself that I would like to consider strengths have always seemed to work against me. But I digress from the thread topic . . . I think there is a chicken-and-the-egg problem with "brain candy". Does "intelligence" generate attraction in a woman or does chemistry with someone generate a more favorable perception of his intelligence? I vote the latter. Supposedly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- I think the perception of intelligence works the same way. I agree, intimacy is end-all of of acceptance from a carnal standpoint. I also think that's why a lot of people (both young men and women) tend to sleep around and scream for attention by doing exactly that accepting intimacy... because they're accepted too in the process. Well, the Chicken VS Egg thing is a bit over analog-ed. It's pretty simple. Me and you are having a beer and there are women on the other side of the room. What will they notice first... My high cheek-bones and dimples or your Doctoral Thesis? Once they speak with us they will certainly realize that you' ARE more conventionally educated than I am (I paid someone to go to school for me for 3 semesters online)-so that's my take on the chicken-egg. But that delicate balance of brains and brawn is what most women want. Besides, there are at least another 5 or 6 characteristics that women also gauge us by. Compassion, Humor, Loyalty/Honesty, Emotional/Mental security, Sexuality... All the sudden we has this data-field that is unique as the snowflakes we are-That looks more like a painter's palette or that window that pops-up when you create new colors in "paint" with a literal million possibilities I don't know.. This is my first time at life, too. Edited October 23, 2012 by Hawaii50 2
threebyfate Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Traits don't happen in a vacuum. Until people get that attraction is a composition of many traits, they're going to continually inflate what isn't their main problem. 3
Author GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Definitely brain candy! But - I don't think you should discount Mr. Hot Security Guard just because it is obvious he prioritizes his body. He may be very intellectually stimulating too... keep talking to him and find out! I've talked to him a bit. I don't think we have much in common, but there is good chemistry there. He's upped his flirting signals, but hasn't taken the next step yet.
sweetkiwi Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 brains for sure. But looks don't hurt anything. And when i find that unique unicorn of a man- the sexy, earthy, wise, gentle one i'll let you ladies know where i purchased him. I'm just a human. I happen to be a sexy fairly intelligent woman, so i'd like someone who has things to bring to the table too. Starting a new thread. Wallet or cock?
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