Women don't make an effort

[kaylan]

This response was predictable.

 

If I drive to see you, buy my sammie. Unless you wanna be buds.

 

What I'm asking for is to be won.

 

Let me put it this way: Why do men still, to this very day, propose to women the overwhelming majority of the time, with a diamond ring?

 

Because it seals the deal on the dance and encompasses the very nature of the male/female dynamic. Men give. Women receive. Penis. Vagina.

I have no problem buying a girl a drink if she drove to see me. Thats only fair. Same way Id expect her to do something friendly for me if I drive to see her. But if we meet halfway, then the date should be halfway.

 

I have options, and Im picky as it is...so we both have to win each other over. Im not going to be the only one doing the chasing. I know Im a good guy and will treat a woman well, so I have no problem expecting a woman to win me...the same way I have no problem winning her too.

 

Its gotta work both ways.

 

Your mind is stuck in a past where men took, and women accepted being taken. Its not like that anymore. Screw this idea of give and receive being singular gender roles. Both genders should be doing both.

 

Time to grow up everyone and learn to be adults who put in the same effort they want from others.

[yongyong]

I can even show up at her door with a flower. will it increase my chance?

 

If you were going to like him, it doesn't matter whether he buys you a cup of coffee or fine meal.

Are you saying you are more likely to sleep with him just because he bought you a nice dinner?

 

I wonder why those nice guys get frustrated after treating a girl properly.

 

 

I agree with this. A guy who makes little effort is either a guy who just wants some casual sex or a guy who has very little confidence and doesn't know what to do. Most women (wisely) want nothing to do with either of those types of guys.

[yongyong]

I want to know if you ended up sleeping with those MEN. If they didn't get anything in the end, why would a guy listen to your advice?

(Oh wait, you are a woman. you should hide about those things since it will make you look bad right? lol)

 

Not sure why my being single has anything to do with anything.

 

Going on dates doesn't mean you're getting married.

[fortyninethousand322]

I can even show up at her door with a flower. will it increase my chance?

 

If you were going to like him, it doesn't matter whether he buys you a cup of coffee or fine meal.

Are you saying you are more likely to sleep with him just because he bought you a nice dinner?

 

I wonder why those nice guys get frustrated after treating a girl properly.

 

I'm a guy, but I didn't get the feeling from seussgirl that she was talking about expensive stuff, merely taking the initiative. Like, pick her up and treat her nice even if you're just going on a picnic. But, yeah, buy her dinner, even if it's just Chipotle.

[yongyong]

NY Woman Uses Dating Site to Get Over $1200 In Free Meals | YouBentMyWookie

 

is that you? you should thank your parents since they gave you a 'pussy'

 

 

And there's a word for whining men and their cheap and lazyass attitudes towards dating; it's called "LONELY."

[John Stiles]

NY Woman Uses Dating Site to Get Over $1200 In Free Meals | YouBentMyWookie

 

is that you? you should thank your parents since they gave you a 'pussy'

 

Unfortunately that link demonstrates the attitude among so many women that is all too common. The truth is that a lot of women have literally become prostitutes. High maintenance, selfish, petulant little divas who think that men owe them something just because they have a hole inbetween their legs. It's disgusting the way women have become.

[scratch]

Generally speaking, the male approaches the female. Not necessarily because the female is special, but because the male is programmed to approach and pursue. It's not personal, it's just nature. I notice that females are very lazy in contributing to the development of an interaction.

 

Females have the passive, receptive role. When a female is approached, she usually assumes that by virtue of being female, she has done everything she needs to do to impress the male.

 

The first person who responded "and your point is?" effectively got to the heart of the matter. Posts like the OP are strange to me, because they describe why the behavior of women has negative implications to men.

 

When you're explaining the problem you have with the behavior, wouldn't it be much more effective to talk about the negative implications it has to the women themselves? Are men going to dump or ignore women who are lazy, thin-skinned, or entitled? If so, then the women will change their behavior or suffer, won't they? If not, it's not really a problem in the first place, is it?

 

Most of the time, that laziness and entitlement is closely linked to lukewarm interest in the man. If a woman likes you, and you're able to tell her (and show her) how you want to be treated, she'll comply to the extent she is able.

[ThaWholigan]

The first person who responded "and your point is?" effectively got to the heart of the matter. Posts like the OP are strange to me, because they describe why the behavior of women has negative implications to men.

 

When you're explaining the problem you have with the behavior, wouldn't it be much more effective to talk about the negative implications it has to the women themselves? Are men going to dump or ignore women who are lazy, thin-skinned, or entitled? If so, then the women will change their behavior or suffer, won't they? If not, it's not really a problem in the first place, is it?

 

Most of the time, that laziness and entitlement is closely linked to lukewarm interest in the man. If a woman likes you, and you're able to tell her (and show her) how you want to be treated, she'll comply to the extent she is able.

This is the crux of the point

 

Maybe the woman isn't making the effort because she doesn't actually like you very much?

[SteveC80]

Couldn't have said it better myself - and they're the ONLY ones I spend my time with. Not the little whiners who expect women to do it all, nowadays.

 

The ironic part is you and dresuss whining about Men who dont want to DO IT ALL youre frekaing out about guys who want it split 50/50:laugh:

 

Talk about entitlement,get over yourselves your not that special your both probably very cookie cutterish and like most other people

[SteveC80]

This response was predictable.

 

If I drive to see you, buy my sammie. Unless you wanna be buds.

 

What I'm asking for is to be won.

 

 

Wow at this entitlement:laugh: why should you be "won" what makes you more special then the guy?

 

Youre still single which means nobody out there so far wants to "win" you anyway

[John Stiles]

The ironic part is you and dresuss whining about Men who dont want to DO IT ALL youre frekaing out about guys who want it split 50/50:laugh:

 

Talk about entitlement,get over yourselves your not that special your both probably very cookie cutterish and like most other people

 

That's the trouble with feminism. They sell it as equality but in reality it's me me me. They want equal pay but they don't want equal spend and effort. What hypocrites. And it's mostly western women. Even horrible ugly fat chicks with bad attitudes, fake hair and nothing to offer strut around thinking that they're owed something just because they have a hole.

[John Stiles]

And there's a word for whining men and their cheap and lazyass attitudes towards dating; it's called "LONELY."

 

Aaah, did I upset cupcake?

[yongyong]

You won't see Fat Chicks acting like that in other countries. They know where they belong (they can't even get a job as a waitress)

 

And it's mostly western women. Even horrible ugly fat chicks with bad attitudes, fake hair and nothing to offer strut around thinking that they're owed something just because they have a hole.

[scratch]

While I don't necessarily disagree with you, I also don't understand what reason a woman has to change her behavior. Earlier, I asked you the following:

 

• Are men going to dump or ignore women who are lazy, thin-skinned, or entitled?
  
• If so, then the women will change their behavior or suffer, won't they?
  
• If not, it's not really a problem in the first place, is it?
  

 

Thoughts? You are, of course, going to answer however you wish, but I hope you refrain from abstract talk of evolution and personal completeness, and rather focus on relatively tangible costs and benefits.

Edited October 21, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed deleted post

[Drseussgrrl]

Judging by the personal attacks I'd wager that somewhere a nerve was struckin you boys who don't like to make a whole lot of effort with the women you date.

 

 

And I'd wager to say I'm still single because I've spent the past year dating guys who requested that I pick them up for dates in their neighborhoods, while splitting the check and expecting to get laid after a few of these "outings". My bad.

 

 

These boys are still single, all of them, and hitting me up during dry spells because other women are tired of being treated like easy ass, too.

 

 

I'm not entitled, or spoiled. I support myself 100%. I served in the armed forces and put myself through college. But you would go far treating women like they're worth a little thought and effort beyond "Uh what are you up to tonight?" when I barely know you. And, this has got nothing to do with the amount of money you spend or don't.

[SteveC80]

Judging by the personal attacks I'd wager that somewhere a nerve was struckin you boys who don't like to make a whole lot of effort with the women you date.

 

 

And I'd wager to say I'm still single because I've spent the past year dating guys who requested that I pick them up for dates in their neighborhoods, while splitting the check and expecting to get laid after a few of these "outings". My bad.

 

 

These boys are still single, all of them, and hitting me up during dry spells because other women are tired of being treated like easy ass, too.

 

 

I'm not entitled, or spoiled. I support myself 100%. I served in the armed forces and put myself through college. But you would go far treating women like they're worth a little thought and effort beyond "Uh what are you up to tonight?" when I barely know you. And, this has got nothing to do with the amount of money you spend or don't.

 

So is a man not worth a little thought and effort? Going into a first date neither side knows much about the other and should try to get to know the other person and make a good impression

 

Your goal is for him to prove himself worthy maybe thast your problem,maybe if you tried to make a good impresion as well instead of the date being about the man trying to prove himself to you then youd have better luck

[phineas]

It doesn't matter if women don't make the effort - men will always take the initiative whether anybody likes it or not. Don't let the shy guys fool you, there are more than enough men doing the approaching. I just don't see the point in complaining about it .

 

Besides, I've been approached by women before so I can't say I have seen the same problem .

 

I got a woman online who looks at my profile every day.

So I look at hers in return.

I think she will crack first & send a message.

[kaylan]

I agree with scratch. Guys allow women to do the things they do. Are you a supplicating brah whos that hard up for tail that you allow women to do the things you dislike, yet still chase them? Or are you a dude with some self respect, who has no problem nexting a chick when you feel shes acted out of line?

[John Stiles]

While I don't necessarily disagree with you, I also don't understand what reason a woman has to change her behavior. Earlier, I asked you the following:

 

• Are men going to dump or ignore women who are lazy, thin-skinned, or entitled?
  
• If so, then the women will change their behavior or suffer, won't they?
  
• If not, it's not really a problem in the first place, is it?
  

 

Thoughts? You are, of course, going to answer however you wish, but I hope you refrain from abstract talk of evolution and personal completeness, and rather focus on relatively tangible costs and benefits.

 

Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with a female who's lazy and entitled. If she doesn't change, then whether or not she suffers will depend on the abundance or otherwise of guys who would willing to put up with her. So in a way, it's not a problem from the point of view of being able to find someone who'll tolerate her, but from the point of view that that behaviour is just wrong, it's a problem. There are loads of females out there with bad attitudes but who still enjoy lots of attention from fools. I say it's an appropriate match, but personally I wouldn't want to be part of any of that.

[Drseussgrrl]

First meetings if you met online are 50/50 with both sides sizing each other up. But no I don't make a move beyond that. If he wants a second date he will ask. Men pursue what they want.

[John Stiles]

Judging by the personal attacks I'd wager that somewhere a nerve was struckin you boys who don't like to make a whole lot of effort with the women you date.

 

 

And I'd wager to say I'm still single because I've spent the past year dating guys who requested that I pick them up for dates in their neighborhoods, while splitting the check and expecting to get laid after a few of these "outings". My bad.

 

 

These boys are still single, all of them, and hitting me up during dry spells because other women are tired of being treated like easy ass, too.

 

 

I'm not entitled, or spoiled. I support myself 100%. I served in the armed forces and put myself through college. But you would go far treating women like they're worth a little thought and effort beyond "Uh what are you up to tonight?" when I barely know you. And, this has got nothing to do with the amount of money you spend or don't.

 

Mischaracterisation. We're not talking about men who make no effort, we're talking about women who make no effort.

[SteveC80]

I agree its is partly mens fault these simps keep putting puss on a pedestal,we dont hold women accountable for their actions at all and let them stay spoiled and entitled because most men are slaves to the puss

 

It's like having a kid and telling them how great and perfect they are and never disciplining the kid of course the kids gonna grow up to be an entitled spoiled brat and be shocked when things arent handed to them

 

So in turn you get a reaction like you get from women in this thread who were completely dumbfounded and angry that a man wouldnt bend over backwards and do all the work on a date and acted like the guy comitted a crime and is a total piece of garbage for it:laugh:

[John Stiles]

First meetings if you met online are 50/50 with both sides sizing each other up. But no I don't make a move beyond that. If he wants a second date he will ask. Men pursue what they want.

 

Funnily enough that's a very western attitude. In non westernised countries when a woman is interested she shows it, and after the initial pursuit (by the male - although sometimes by the female), she contributes to the continuation of interactions. Men like women who can be proactive. It's very attractive.

[Drseussgrrl]

But I do make the effort. In fact I emailed a man this week online first to show my interest. Texted him first when he sent his number. We're having lunch tomorrow. IN THE MIDDLE. I plan on paying my share.

 

What else would you have expected me to do differently?

[John Stiles]

I agree its is partly mens fault these simps keep putting puss on a pedestal,we dont hold women accountable for their actions at all and let them stay spoiled and entitled because most men are slaves to the puss

 

It's like having a kid and telling them how great and perfect they are and never disciplining the kid of course the kids gonna grow up to be an entitled spoiled brat and be shocked when things arent handed to them

 

So in turn you get a reaction like you get from women in this thread who were completely dumbfounded and angry that a man wouldnt bend over backwards and do all the work on a date and acted like the guy comitted a crime and is a total piece of garbage for it:laugh:

 

Oh how I agree. That's the trouble. Feminism has taught women that they're automatically entitled to attention and flattery. It's the "you go girl" mentality. If only they knew how disgusting and unattractive it is. But this is all mostly a western problem, specifically english speaking countries. Women in certain so called backward countries would utterly wipe the floor with these western females when it comes to femininity and attractiveness (attitude wise). Western women want equality in those areas that suit them, but they also want the perks of entitlement. And notice how defensive they get when they're criticised.