Women don't make an effort

[John Stiles]

Generally speaking, the male approaches the female. Not necessarily because the female is special, but because the male is programmed to approach and pursue. It's not personal, it's just nature. Someone has to get the ball rolling, and nature has chosen the male to do it. The male can't check out the female to see if she's worth spending time with if he doesn't initiate contact.

 

I notice that females are very lazy in contributing to the development of an interaction. Let's face it there are very few charming females, and they don't usually make men laugh or try. When a woman has a sense of humour it's generally understood that this means she gets and laughs at jokes and witty things, but more often than not it's males who say them.

 

Males, knowing their role as approachers, spend many years learning the skills necessary to cold approach females and make an effort to sell themselves. As a result, they generally become somewhat skilled in interactions, as well as thick skinned. That's the active role.

 

Females have the passive, receptive role. That's the way it is and it works. The penis (active) goes into the vagina (receptive) and likewise, interactions work in a similar way.

 

The problem is that there's a lack of balance on the part of females. Males have not only gained skills in being active, they have also learned balance, for example, listening skills (passive), and to some extent, being in touch with their feminine side. Males I would say are generally pretty well balanced.

 

But females don't seem to have developed that balance. Yang needs to have an element of yin to be balanced, and likewise, yin needs a bit of yang to be balanced. Males have done rather well in this, but females are far behind. For example, and this is one of the most common examples, when a female is approached, she usually assumes that by virtue of being female, she has done everything she needs to do to impress the male. She thinks that he is already 100% interested in her. As a result, she makes very little effort if any to impress the male. This is a major error of judgment. The extreme of this is when the female behaves in a high maintenance manner.

 

There's also the "what have you done for me lately" mentality, which is common. Also, although there's a lot of emphasis on males being in touch with their feminine side, there's very little talk of females being in touch with their masculine side. And whereas there's a lot of advice on how to be a "real man", there's relatively very little talk of how to be a "real woman".

 

As a result of the upbringing that a lot of females have, they don't make much of an effort. They've become excessively passive, sometimes to the point of entitlement.

[ThaWholigan]

It doesn't matter if women don't make the effort - men will always take the initiative whether anybody likes it or not. Don't let the shy guys fool you, there are more than enough men doing the approaching. I just don't see the point in complaining about it .

 

Besides, I've been approached by women before so I can't say I have seen the same problem .

[plainjane79]

Generally speaking, the male approaches the female. Not necessarily because the female is special, but because the male is programmed to approach and pursue. It's not personal, it's just nature. Someone has to get the ball rolling, and nature has chosen the male to do it. The male can't check out the female to see if she's worth spending time with if he doesn't initiate contact.

 

I notice that females are very lazy in contributing to the development of an interaction. Let's face it there are very few charming females, and they don't usually make men laugh or try. When a woman has a sense of humour it's generally understood that this means she gets and laughs at jokes and witty things, but more often than not it's males who say them.

 

Males, knowing their role as approachers, spend many years learning the skills necessary to cold approach females and make an effort to sell themselves. As a result, they generally become somewhat skilled in interactions, as well as thick skinned. That's the active role.

 

Females have the passive, receptive role. That's the way it is and it works. The penis (active) goes into the vagina (receptive) and likewise, interactions work in a similar way.

 

The problem is that there's a lack of balance on the part of females. Males have not only gained skills in being active, they have also learned balance, for example, listening skills (passive), and to some extent, being in touch with their feminine side. Males I would say are generally pretty well balanced.

 

But females don't seem to have developed that balance. Yang needs to have an element of yin to be balanced, and likewise, yin needs a bit of yang to be balanced. Males have done rather well in this, but females are far behind. For example, and this is one of the most common examples, when a female is approached, she usually assumes that by virtue of being female, she has done everything she needs to do to impress the male. She thinks that he is already 100% interested in her. As a result, she makes very little effort if any to impress the male. This is a major error of judgment. The extreme of this is when the female behaves in a high maintenance manner.

 

There's also the "what have you done for me lately" mentality, which is common. Also, although there's a lot of emphasis on males being in touch with their feminine side, there's very little talk of females being in touch with their masculine side. And whereas there's a lot of advice on how to be a "real man", there's relatively very little talk of how to be a "real woman".

 

As a result of the upbringing that a lot of females have, they don't make much of an effort. They've become excessively passive, sometimes to the point of entitlement.

 

...And your point is....?

[John Stiles]

These are some valid points. Prepare for the attack.

 

As we know.. the women on this forum are not introspective and never really consider how they can improve themselves to be more attractive to men. Instead, they shame the men who give suggestions and tell them they need to change their ways. Men always need to change. Women on this forum are perfect and flawless.

 

Watch and see.

 

And I'm just talking about the women on this forum.. not women in general.

 

Thanks. Yes I'm well aware of all the predictable responses. I don't think any of them could possibly say anything that would come as a surprise.

[kaylan]

Funny, I have a female friend who just started using online dating. Despite being inundated to numerous messages from guys (especially weird and creepy ones), she still makes the effort to browse and message guys who catch her eye. Hell, she might even have a date with this one guy she contacted soon.

[yongyong]

You inherited a property that gives you a monthly rent. now wouldn't you be lazy looking for jobs?

 

that property is called 'pussy'

[fortyninethousand322]

Some women make effort with regards to some men. Some men are really hard to get and so some women make an effort to get and keep those types of men. We all have that one friend who's got a totally hot girl hanging on his every word that he doesn't care two you know whats about.

 

Some men are really easy to get. And women wisely don't make an effort to get or keep those types of men. Those guys have to beg and plead just to get a date.

 

So really the question for guys is: are you a high status guy that women really want or are you a low status guy who has to try really really hard?

[Drseussgrrl]

I just posted on another thread about how SOME men have actually become lazy and are looking for a piece of ass with the least amount of effort put in.

 

I've had men ask me to "stop by on my way home from work for a beer" (as a DATE, without really knowing each other), men request that I drive and meet them in THEIR neighborhoods for a date (and allowed me to pick up my half of the tab at the same time), men asking to "meet up" at the bars as long as I'm with my girlfriends, and any other such sort of nonsense that men try to pass off as dating me.

 

So while you say that women have become entitled and expect to just sit back and be on the receiving end of everything, I'd like to counter with what I see increasingly with men is this lackadaisical approach to dating that looks more like hoping easy p*ssy just falls into their lap.

 

The silver lining is that there ARE still men out there who don't mind being a little old school and planning a date, picking me up, and wining and dining me. Those are usually the same guys who enjoy a good scotch, a cigar, and some intellectual conversation. You know, a MAN.

 

Not someone who complains about "having" to do those things to other Betas.

[verhrzn]

Except guys HATE when girls are in touch with their masculine side. It's one of the common complaints leveled at me... that I'm too "manly." That I argue like a man, have male interests, and am aggressive like a man. Guys HATE that.

 

So how bout you all just make up your minds already?

[kaylan]

2^

 

Sorry DrSuessgirl, but its 2012...both genders should meet each other half way. None of this entitled garbage about what a real man or woman does.

[John Stiles]

I just posted on another thread about how SOME men have actually become lazy and are looking for a piece of ass with the least amount of effort put in.

 

I've had men ask me to "stop by on my way home from work for a beer" (as a DATE, without really knowing each other), men request that I drive and meet them in THEIR neighborhoods for a date (and allowed me to pick up my half of the tab at the same time), men asking to "meet up" at the bars as long as I'm with my girlfriends, and any other such sort of nonsense that men try to pass off as dating me.

 

So while you say that women have become entitled and expect to just sit back and be on the receiving end of everything, I'd like to counter with what I see increasingly with men is this lackadaisical approach to dating that looks more like hoping easy p*ssy just falls into their lap.

 

The silver lining is that there ARE still men out there who don't mind being a little old school and planning a date, picking me up, and wining and dining me. Those are usually the same guys who enjoy a good scotch, a cigar, and some intellectual conversation. You know, a MAN.

 

Not someone who complains about "having" to do those things to other Betas.

 

I'm not talking about old school. I'm talking about women not making an effort when it comes to interactions.

[John Stiles]

Except guys HATE when girls are in touch with their masculine side. It's one of the common complaints leveled at me... that I'm too "manly." That I argue like a man, have male interests, and am aggressive like a man. Guys HATE that.

 

So how bout you all just make up your minds already?

 

I'm not talking about manliness. I'm talking about female / male balance.

[kaylan]

Except guys HATE when girls are in touch with their masculine side. It's one of the common complaints leveled at me... that I'm too "manly." That I argue like a man, have male interests, and am aggressive like a man. Guys HATE that.

 

So how bout you all just make up your minds already?

The only time I see guys call that a problem is if they dont find the female initially attractive.

 

If they do find her attractive, guys love girls who share their interests and can kick ass in a discussion like they do. Guys dont seem to mind video gaming, guitar playing, skateboarding, or whatever else kinda girls...provided they find her attractive.

 

I see women behave the same way. A guy can do certain things that may be deemed feminine...but if she finds him attractive, she wont care, nor will she even have the presence of mind to point those things out.

[yongyong]

So did you end up giving it to those MEN?

 

I guess you are not with them anymore since you are talking to some guy online

 

 

The silver lining is that there ARE still men out there who don't mind being a little old school and planning a date, picking me up, and wining and dining me. Those are usually the same guys who enjoy a good scotch, a cigar, and some intellectual conversation. You know, a MAN.

[Drseussgrrl]

Sorry I disagree.

 

50 years doesn't wipe out eons of evolution that has ingrained in men to be hunters/pursuers.

[Drseussgrrl]

Not sure why my being single has anything to do with anything.

 

Going on dates doesn't mean you're getting married.

[fortyninethousand322]

I just posted on another thread about how SOME men have actually become lazy and are looking for a piece of ass with the least amount of effort put in.

 

I've had men ask me to "stop by on my way home from work for a beer" (as a DATE, without really knowing each other), men request that I drive and meet them in THEIR neighborhoods for a date (and allowed me to pick up my half of the tab at the same time), men asking to "meet up" at the bars as long as I'm with my girlfriends, and any other such sort of nonsense that men try to pass off as dating me.

 

So while you say that women have become entitled and expect to just sit back and be on the receiving end of everything, I'd like to counter with what I see increasingly with men is this lackadaisical approach to dating that looks more like hoping easy p*ssy just falls into their lap.

 

The silver lining is that there ARE still men out there who don't mind being a little old school and planning a date, picking me up, and wining and dining me. Those are usually the same guys who enjoy a good scotch, a cigar, and some intellectual conversation. You know, a MAN.

 

Not someone who complains about "having" to do those things to other Betas.

 

I agree with this. A guy who makes little effort is either a guy who just wants some casual sex or a guy who has very little confidence and doesn't know what to do. Most women (wisely) want nothing to do with either of those types of guys.

[verhrzn]

I'm not talking about manliness. I'm talking about female / male balance.

 

.... You claimed that men were in touch with their feminine side but women weren't in touch with their masculine side and how they never approached. How the heck is that NOT talking about manliness? What "masculine side" things do you see women not being in touch with?

[Drseussgrrl]

"Oh? It seems to have wiped out the female need to stay at home taking care of the children, cooking my food and cleaning my house.

 

Curious."

 

This is laughable. Women still do these things IN ADDITION to holding down full time jobs. Lucky for you boys, most households are dual-income.

[John Stiles]

.... You claimed that men were in touch with their feminine side but women weren't in touch with their masculine side and how they never approached. How the heck is that NOT talking about manliness? What "masculine side" things do you see women not being in touch with?

 

When people talk about men being in touch with their feminine side, it's understood that what is being talked about is not womanliness. It's something quite distinct from that altogether. Likewise, when talking about women being in touch with their masculine side, we're not talking about manliness.

[John Stiles]

The nerve of these savages, expecting adults to meet them somewhere, having them pay their own way.

 

Surely being born with a pair of ovaries entitles one to special treatment.

 

2012 truly is the end of days.

 

I was going to say the same thing myself. There's a word for women who expect payment for their company.

[Drseussgrrl]

This response was predictable.

 

If I drive to see you, buy my sammie. Unless you wanna be buds.

 

What I'm asking for is to be won.

 

Let me put it this way: Why do men still, to this very day, propose to women the overwhelming majority of the time, with a diamond ring?

 

Because it seals the deal on the dance and encompasses the very nature of the male/female dynamic. Men give. Women receive. Penis. Vagina.

[verhrzn]

When people talk about men being in touch with their feminine side, it's understood that what is being talked about is not womanliness. It's something quite distinct from that altogether. Likewise, when talking about women being in touch with their masculine side, we're not talking about manliness.

 

Then what the heck are you talking about? What do you mean by EITHER "feminine" or "masculine"? In what way are women NOT in touch with their masculine side but guys are in touch with their feminine side?

[Drseussgrrl]

The OP is suggesting that if a man approaches a woman, we aren't in touch with our masculine side enough to try and win him over.

 

Or something.

[kaylan]

Sorry I disagree.

 

50 years doesn't wipe out eons of evolution that has ingrained in men to be hunters/pursuers.

Evo Psych is a lot of bs. So lets not even go there. The scientific community doesnt even accept it as legitimate science.