dub03 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 I know this is sort of long but please read, I could really use the advice!! OK... So my girlfriend of a year broke up with me a month ago. .. actually it was a bit of an ongoing process that began about a month and a half ago. She went back home for a week to visit...she hadn't been back in nearly 3 years. When she came back here to Chicago, she said that she wants to move back home. She told me the hardest part of her decision was leaving me, but it something she had to do. Of course I was floored and heart broken... I am in love with this girl. I tried to convince her not to leave, but her mind was made up. She set her moving date for July 8th, about 5 weeks from that time. We decided that we would "live up" the time we had left together, because we definetly were not going to do the long distance thing. Well we spent a lot of time together for the next week or two, when she said to me, " I can't do this anymore." I was with her too much, and she couldn't take my attempts to get her to stay anymore, and she said there is no point continuing this because she was leaving in a few weeks. Honestly, I was probably clinging to her too much, but I couldn't help it. It was the last month we would be together. I convinced her to keep spending time with me, but the same thing happened a week later. Then she stopped taking my calls and began ignoring me. Well I had enough, and sort of wrote her a text message telling her off...interesting enough that got her to reply, and we sort of exchanged words, and haven't talked since. However we did work one shift together, and didn't acknowledge each other all night. Well guess what... It is almost August, and she is still here. I was told that she doesn't know if she is moving anymore, and that she started seeing this guy we work with very soon after the night we exchanged words, and seems pretty crazy about him. Now I have not had a problem getting girls since Sr year of High school, but for some reason I can't get over her and constantly find myself thinking about her. I have been good not contacting her for the past month, but I really want to call her and ask why she started seeing this guy knowing that she was going to leave, the very reason she dumped me...and I also want to ask her why she is not leaving anymore. I mean the whole reason she broke up with me was because she was leaving. I know that I really want her back, but I also realize that it seems unlikely considering the situation... What should I do!!!?
xeon124 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 It seems like you are holding a lot in about her. Try writing down what is bothering you about her and why you don't want to let her go. Is it a comfort thing? Does she have a really nice butt? We all know it's something... I think you need to figure it out so you can get over her. YOu need to release these feelings too, and if you are angry at her, find a way to release that anger. If you can accept that she may not be with you again, tell her off. Write everything down, and tell her OFF. This won't help with you ever getting back with her or maybe even being her friend, but I sure as heck think it will help you get some of that stress off of your chest and let you know that you aren't a type of person who is going to sit back and take it. Another thing is, if you find yourself thinking about her, just find a friend to chat with. Talk a few minutes about how pissed you are at her: (often times calling an ex a psycho and explaining why to a friend helps me out ) Then move onto a nother subject to get your mind off of her. You could also try exercising and visioning how pissed off you are at her, heck, you could even imagine punching her lights out (as long as this purely stays in your mind) while you are exercising, it's actually a healthy way to release some of that stress. And, never forget this: Your feelings are normal, and your reaction is normal. If you get verbal with her, just keep in mind that she might say things to get under your skin. You have to keep a clear head and rationalize that what she is saying isn't true, and that you are a better person then the guy she is making you out to be. and... I think it's time to ignore her for a little while... given a couple weeks, you will be amazed how much better you will feel if you just don't know anything about her and her life. I imagine it would be hard working with her, but, heck, try you best man. Good luck with everything, Justin.
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